What are the unwritten style rules?

[frumpydump]

I am, largely, a very unstylish person. I pick comfort over everything.
I would love to look a little more put together and fashionable day to day. What are the unwritten style rules i’m missing out on?

A lot of previous posts are totally outdated and whats with the continued obsession with "French rules"? Anyone who has been to provincial france knows most people there are bad dressers and the styles in the cities are all about playing it as safe as possible.

Good style IMO is about buying good fabrics and mixing unexpected items (whether in terms of vibe or fabric or print)

You can’t ‘covet’ what you already own! I assume you do own the dress?

It’s unexceptionable - perfectly harmless and doesn’t make you look bad at all. And, since the only rules worth considering are cleanliness and wearing what one likes, you’re not breaking any.

I would say that unless you have an outstanding haircut / colour or really unusual make-up, the dress doesn’t really constitute an outfit on its own. The fabric is very average and they’ve taken no trouble with the neckline whatsoever (which is what I’d notice, rather than the body beneath). If you’re not wearing a slip, it needs one - though no one wants an extra layer in the heat.

Remind me what you’re actually asking, with regard to this particular dress?

This is very subjective.

To me style is about having confidence in what you are wearing. Having your own style.

I am bright colourful, clashing pattern type person. I dont find bland colourless people stylish at all.

‘Don’t wear beige – it might kill you’: Iris Apfel fans on why they love rainbow dressing | Fashion | The Guardian

Agreed. The rules are always the same on these threads. And they always assume you are tall and slim and have straight hair. I have very curly hair and am short and while not overweight I'm also not very slim. I like earrings and necklaces and stacks of bracelets, I enjoy prints. Apparently I am doomed to forever be a mess.

I wasn’t, someone asked what I looked like and I posted this dress because it makes me feel really nice, and quite confident.

Or it did. Thanks for that.

Well as you’ve seen from the photo I’m not slim. So that’s great, thank you.

I adore the cut of it. The brand only sells them in florals and this dotty print which is a bit frustrating, but I have a few similar saved on M&S

my footwear is atrocious, mainly because I have really wide feet!

Oh ignore that poster. You look nice. The dress flatters your shape. It makes you feel good. Job done.

It’s the first time probably ever that I’ve seen myself have hips!

Your dress is absolutely fine…but it could look better…the bodice is too long, so your boobs are t sitting in the bottom of the cups. If you had the shoulders lifted, it would solve this and would take it from looking fine, to looking fab!

I was coming on to say similar and wondered if maybe a better fitting bra would help?

Agree that it’s very subjective. I see Melissa Murrell pointed to a lot here but while well meaning she’s very much of the your body is a fruit shape any is a problem to be solved and this is a style formula that works for everyone school of thought. I don’t think what’s always most stylish is someone who knows what they like and dresses for the joy of it rather than to make their waist look smaller.

I definitely need to get a bra fitting but that’s a lot for me to do, I’ve never been that exposed in front of other people in my life

I prefer it pulled down a little like that as it fits my mid section better. I find if a waistline sits right under my boobs the skirt then flares over my belly and makes me look pregnant

It's the obsession with being "groomed" and "polished" and that "stylish" is synonymous with well groomed and polished. Everything is simple, classic neutrals.

It's as if Vivienne Westwood or Alexander McQueen or Biba never existed. Obviously few people can wear that type of clothes every day but I'm not sure why blandness is so prized.

To be honest I’d quite like to be bland and stylish for a while! I’ve gone from being morbidly obese to whatever my body shape is now (amorphous blob?) but I finally fit into normal clothing sizes and I’d love to just look better and more put together in my daily life

Bravissimo took a look at me and guessed my size. Brought me 5 bras, handed over the door of the dressing room. I’m like you, OP, and don’t want to be seen undressed.

Sadly the only option I have is M&S. I’m going to have to pluck up the courage fairly soon as I need a good bra to wear with a dress for a wedding I’m going to!

Well, your blandness is my elegance but I do take your point. I also love colourful kaftans and stacks of jewellery. Aren’t rules are made to be broken?

Good haircut, neat nails in classic red or neutral, simple jewellery, minimal make up and wearing clothes that are well cut, natural fabrics, in colours that suit your eye/hair/skin tone and that fit well and suit your body shape. I am sure there will be many who will come along to say that there's no such thing as colours and styles to suit body shapes as women can wear what they want when they want. Both things can be true. Your dress looks lovely.

What’s the natural fibre obsession? I sew and you can’t really tell the difference to my eye?

I'm often one that suggests Melissa Murrell.
Mainly because she's the only one I know that dresses all sizes & shapes. Plus i really do think that her rules work. Of course you can break the rules. Some people do & are brilliantly stylish but they're not normally the ones who come on MN asking for help. Sometimes you have to learn the rules first before you can break them .

Anyway Op now Melissa Murrell has been mentioned have a look at her You tube videos on how to dress different body shapes. And well done on losing a lot of weight.

I had my boobs measured in M&S and I'm pretty sure they left me to it when changing, and only looked when I was trying the various bras on.

Cant I’m not against anyone using any tools that help them. It’s more the tone that annoys me. Reminds me of shopping with my mother/aunts as a teenager and having all my problem areas pointed out.

OP, if you feel shy about bra fittings, I use the Reddit abrathatfits calculator and find it extremely accurate:

https://www.abrathatfits.org/

Much better than the in person fittings I previously got at M&S and Victoria’s Secret. I just order online; sometimes takes a couple of goes but I always end up happy with the fit. I too have lost a lot of weight and so I have to be careful with the shape of the cup; lots of bras will distort the shape if you’ve got lots of loose skin (which I do!) so need full cup or balcony.

I like the shape of your polka dot dress. I’m also playing around with style after massive weight loss and have to say I’ve started to be a bit pickier with fabric as lots of viscose and blends will cling in a way I don’t like. The same shape in cotton may flatter you even more. It’s all trial and error though.

I’ve bought a lot of stuff very cheaply on Vinted as to really work out if something suits you you often have to wear it properly rather than just try it on. I’ve slowly become more confident experimenting more widely with shapes and styles; I think wearing more variety can really help get your eye in. I agree with pps that the concept of “style”
as a set of restrictive rules is utterly boring. I live in London and there are so, so many ways to dress that look good.

90% of those online styling videos seem to just be taking a normal outfit and adding shoes, a handbag and maybe a scarf or necklace! I never really got the deal with accessories but bought my first handbag recently at the ripe old age of 41 and have to say it has improved my stylishness. So maybe look into buying a bag you really like, sunglasses, sandals you don’t hate, jewellery? Accessories can seem less urgent if you’re trying to build a wardrobe of actual clothes but I’m suspecting they punch above their weight.

Natural fibers just look better imo. Polyester looks cheap. Linen and silk don't.