What are the unwritten style rules?

[frumpydump]

I am, largely, a very unstylish person. I pick comfort over everything.
I would love to look a little more put together and fashionable day to day. What are the unwritten style rules i’m missing out on?

I like that dress but €330 is completely unaffordable for me. I like the shape and that it emphasises my boobs

It’s not about the price, I just googled that as an example! It’s about figuring out what it is you like yourself so that you can feel more together. What I was saying is I would look at that outfit and say it looks nice, but I don’t think the top would work for me, so I might look for something similar but with a differences that I know appeal to me. In the past I might have seen that dress, thought it looked “flattering” buy it but never be able to put my finger on what I liked and didn’t like about it.

You don't agree with "iron your clothes"? I'd say that's fundamental. Even the loveliest top will look shit and untidy if it's creased and crumpled.

I'm not great at bothering to iron but I do steam everything before wearing.

Wear clothes that fit is my other non negotiable. Maybe on occasion size up for a more relaxed look, but never ever too tight.

Wear what brings you joy, whether that’s a cotton shift dress from Sainsbury’s or a designer ensemble. Don’t get sucked into trends that might not suit you. Barrel jeans anyone?

Could you upload some pictures of yourself, maybe neck down for privacy?

I ask because the most useful "rules" will vary depending on what you're currently doing.

I used to be less stylish (not saying I'm an expert now!) but for me, it was oversized clothes or the wrong shape, the wrong colours next to my face, things that didnt match, and weird combinations eg smart coat with too-casual shoes (not in a good way).

But for another person the useful advice could be completely different.

I personally love barrel jeans. Also wide leg, straight, flared, cropped. Basically anything bar skinny or low waisted.

Oh I need a wide Jean/trosuer!

I'm in agreement with all of those. Even though I try to buy a lot of that crunchy crinkled cotton/muslin boho style in summer so I can avoid ironing.
@frumpydump that navy dress with the leather sandals looks great. Why do your friends think it's not?

I love this combo, done well

im not anything special style wise but I see plenty of people I consider stylish wearing navy and black

This is my outfit today, please nobody be mean because I covet this dress 🤣

Well I love that so I don't know how you'd improve :)

Maybe a structured white/cream handbag and a pretty necklace?

Shoes to match the handbag if you're going for smart

I’ve gone for burgundy shoes that match the spots 🤣

Whilst they might be on trend, I think those sandals are so ugly.

They’re not my favourite but they look super wide! Which is important as I have wide feet 🤣

This always reminds me of the Coco Chanel advice to look in the mirror before you go out and remove one accessory. Except that I realised when I went to the Chanel exhibition that her starting point was to wear a lot of accessories + dress buttons and fabric trimmings. Removing a single item, still left more than I would wear. Since that moment of realisation I have embraced a lot more costume jewellery.

My own tips are mundane. Smile and dress intentionally - as in choose an outfit that is balanced and suits your colour and shape. Have fun.

I’ve had a lot of compliments on this dress today so I think I just need to get a few more nicer dresses and wear them more often to be honest. I’ve never really had the confidence to wear something like this to work, I’ve always felt a bit silly

If you’ve never been a dress person, it can take confidence to step outside your comfort zone . But once you have the dress bug… looks at overflowing wardrobe…

I do like a dress but usually go more “casual”, to me this is a fancy dress 😂

Ironing is fine but I don't get het up about not wearing linen, taffetta or organza because it will crease the way some on here do.

But the rest? No patterns, block colour only, no clashes, "simple jewellery", necklaces or earrings but not both, no stacked jewellery, blah, blah, is as boring as I can imagine.

I spent ages looking at Kibbe and worked out I'm a Soft Natural. Which is all very well but I can't find anything of Soft Natural proportions that fits because I'm also overweight. Unless I get a whole wardrobe made bespoke I'm stuffed.

So many 'dress for your shape' type websites don't cater for overweight people, I'm an apple in that I have a big tummy, but I don't have slender arms and legs.

General style tips that I think look good are things like 'legs or cleavage', there's something pleasing to my eye about the proportions of that. Like fitted tops with baggier bottoms etc.

I think that works for me too - the dress I have on today I like because it accentuates my cleavage but it’s very flowy at the bottom

The dress shape is good. Find more in that shape - in a single bold colour? I think style is a lot in footwear, bags, hair cut/colour. Don't scrimp on these, its rare cheap shoes/bags/hair looks good. Frumpy or old fashioned shoes can completely ruin an outfit imo. I get most complements when I wear a bold signature colour that suits my colouring.

I think it depends on your starting point. When I first realised I had no style, I was messy and clueless, so I pared it down to the basic (boring) rules like these. It got me to a starting point, almost a blank page, which I was then able to add to.

I’m 59 and wasted so much of my twenties and thirties being a fashion victim, if I’m honest, probably most of my forties too, as the light slowly dawned. I get so many more compliments now, I just go for comfort with a more stylish edge now. So I dress for my body shape and keep things more low key, so simple dresses, tailored trousers with a classic lined top/blouse, I have beautiful handbags and I do go a bit more adventurous with earrings but keep them smaller and good quality. I like my hair to be styled nicely, but not always coifed. My DH is always well presented, so I kind of follow his lead to what is appropriate for the situation, he doesn’t know I do that though!

Today I’m wearing a black jersey dress with small silver hoops, I haven’t been out yet so only have slippers on, lol.

I am also happy to fling on an oversized hoody with jeans, or shock horror, leggings! The leggings are good quality ones which never go baggy, she says, hoping this is a small saving grace!

If I’m looking for inspiration I Google what styles suit my size and the situation I’m going to be in and as for my age, I say for over 40’s rather than over 50’s.

Being slim and confident helps massively.