What are the unwritten style rules?

[frumpydump]

I am, largely, a very unstylish person. I pick comfort over everything.
I would love to look a little more put together and fashionable day to day. What are the unwritten style rules i’m missing out on?

I remember being told the French rules of “good shoes, good haircut”.

the fit is the most important thing. My most sytlish friends get everything tailored. Cheaper clothing that fits looks better than more expensive that doesnt

Focus on good fabrics over expensive brands. Always go cotton or natural fabrics where you can

Don't underestimate shoes and bags

A friend once told me that she read French women wear earrings or a necklace, never both together.

I follow this whether it's true or not but I'm not a fan of lots of jewellery being worn. I'm a less is more person about quite a few things. 😃

This is another thread on this now

I am not stylish at all, and don't really have a sense of style.

So I make sure my clothing colours match and patterns match. No clashing patterns. For several years I really only wore navy blue because I was nervous about colours but more recently have branched out and developed confidence.

I am sure I read this in a book by an ex French super-model. I'll have to think who it was. It definitely impacted me as I now only do wear either, not both.

I was told to start it here.

Yes- it was this book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Parisian-Chic-Style-Guide-Fressange/dp/2080200739/ref=zg-te-pba_d_sccl_2_1/523-2739276-2644969?pd_rd_w=oiGG0&content-id=amzn1.sym.c072daa0-3920-4b4d-83e5-1f5f31c763e0&pf_rd_p=c072daa0-3920-4b4d-83e5-1f5f31c763e0&pf_rd_r=5ASKXN7Y7XNEYHPCKN9Y&pd_rd_wg=SdgX1&pd_rd_r=cff0ab93-5ffc-4ecb-8ad2-7d21907ebc4f&pd_rd_i=2080200739&psc=1

I think:
Natural, good quality fabrics
A cut and fit to suit your body shape.
Honestly if you want to look up to date and stylish I’d avoid a lot of prints!
Clean styled hair and nails
Think About what colours suit you and what colours work together so your outfit doesn’t clash

Follow Melissa Murrell on You tube or Instagram.
There's a series of videos on how to dress all sorts of different body shapes . The latest one was fascinating and instructive, showing us how an online styling session works with styling the clothes you posess already, on a real life client. Some suggestions were made regarding purchasing some minimal basics. Far less than I thought would be required.

I can't profess to being amazingly stylish but my personal rules are:

Simple jewellery every day

Natural fibres as much as possible

No patterned clothing......block colours only

Balanced proportions so if I'm wearing wide or floaty trousers I'll wear a tighter fitting top and vice versa

Don't wear shoes that are too tight. The pain will show in your face.
Wear underwear that rounds everything up and points it in the right direction.

If possible, get a proper bra fitting. Wearing the correct size makes a big difference to how clothes can fit and how they look.

So far that's the only advice worth paying attention to.

Depending on your shape, will depend what clothes suit you. This is a good guide.

https://theconceptwardrobe.com

My style rule - iron your clothes, or at least don’t wear creased and crumpled clothes. I know many fabrics don’t need ironing now, especially if hung up straight away, but creased clothes definitely look scruffy and unkempt.

I am always drawn to women who look well groomed. Hair tidy, even in a simple
pony or bun. Tidy nails, little or no colour. Eyebrows done. Minimal make up.

Think less is more.

Plain colours, well fitted, and no obvious logos. Bright colours are fine but stick matching.

A well structured bag, it doesn’t have to be expensive.

Very simple bangle, ring or earrings or necklace. Not a stack or multiples.

I really don't agree with most of these rules.
Bracelet stacks are very on trend at the moment. As are layered necklaces & multiple tiny diamond/gold earrings.
Prints can look amazing on some. They don't suit me but I'm a petite soft autumn & they overwhelm.
I don't care about having my boobs pointing out i would rather be comfortable wearing a Boody bralette.
My hair is very wavy & can look untamed. It still looks good whether straight or wavy.
Yes, comfortable shoes are very important, manicured nails are not as long as they're clean & short.

I really don't agree with most of these rules

I don't agree with any of them apart from MrsMoastyToasty's two suggestions.

The rest read as if they come from a 1950s guide for housewives who want to look stylish and attractive for their husbands.

Edit the oft repeated on here exhortation to wear "simple jewellery" makes me want to do exactly the opposite and "simple, classic jewellery" would have me running to Claire's Accessories, if it still existed.

I agree with some posters that many of the suggestions on this thread are a bit boring. The important thing is to find your own style and for some people, that can include prints and multiple items of jewelry. I am not personally fond of floral prints, but I do wear geometric prints, especially for tops and blouses under jackets.

I do agree with many posters that fit is really important.

Don't wear black with navy.

E g Black trousers, with a navy blouse.

https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/worst-fashion-advice

You cannot wear navy and black together

Side with the likes of Phoebe Philo and the Olsen sisters and trash this outdated ideal pronto. Navy and black is the chicest colour pairing known to woman.

I think the important thing is to find out what you like and what makes you feel good. I’ve spent a lot of time trying to figure this out for myself. I lost a lot of weight after a few years of being caught up in motherhood/work/life stress and realised I was no happier looking in the mirror at a size 10-12 than I was at an 18-20, because I didn’t really know what I liked.

Like you I wanted to prioritise comfort. But I work in a senior role so looking professional was important to me too. And then I realised that my work and home wardrobes could be quite similar but I might substitute tailored trousers for jeans or drawstring pants and a cashmere fine knit for a smart sweatshirt etc.

I tried on lots of clothes and looked online for people I admired but rather than copy them tried to ascertain what I actually admired about it. Part of the problem before was that I would see a beautiful print and buy it but then never wear it as it never felt like me.

I realised that what I was drawn to was a strong vertical line. I love tailoring but to make it more comfortable I mix it up a bit. Today for example at work I am wearing simple wide leg navy satin trousers, slim loafers and a cropped slightly oversized cotton shirt with vertical stripes. In winter I might wear the same shirt with wool trousers and either a blazer or a cashmere jumper. At home I might wear barrel jeans with a shirt and sweatshirt or with a t-shirt and blazer. I don’t wear much print but love stripes. I have some simple graphic tees that I love because I’m drawn to the graphic. I prefer cropped length/tucked tops as I have a short torso. What I’m saying is that all these clothes feel very like me and I’m happy wearing them. I often love other people’s style but now have a better idea of what I admire because it looks good vs what I would actually love to wear if that makes sense.

I’m sorry for the essay- to boil it down I’m saying you need to spend some time figuring out what you like rather than following some arbitrary rules.

So to me, this would be a pretty stylish outfit. But I’ve shown my friends and they think it’s really not!

It’s a perfectly inoffensive outfit. What is it you like about it? I like the skirt but I know that the top of that dress would be wrong on me as I don’t like the curved neckline or the string hanging down. I like fisherman sandals but prefer leather to suede and I have an irrational dislike of raffia. I would substitute the dress with something like this https://www.zalando.ie/staud-wells-dress-day-dress-navy-s5f21c0al-k11.html?ssku=S5F21C0AL-K110002000&lang=en&otid=default&wmc=SEM353_NB_GO._9357456472_1445614984_55809549065.&opc=2211&mpp=google%7Cv1%7C%7Cpla-293946777986%7C%7C1007901%7C%7Cg%7Cm%7C%7C276544571906%7C%7Cpla%7CS5F21C0AL-K110002000%7C293946777986%7C1%7C&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1445614984&gbraid=0AAAAADBNeSU0qMXw4gUWvxsuJHlRx4LcM&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI8_nE8OvblAMVHpNQBh1oyDbaEAQYAiABEgJycfD_BwE because. Prefer the shape and the long line it creates. I would carry a leather bag and wear maybe a pair of leather fisherman sandals or some pointed toe low heel mules. And finish with a blazer or add a nice cardigan. Because that’s what I like. I have no idea if it’s stylish in the eyes of others but it’s my personal style.