Sandals for a funeral

[TheDutchHouse]

is this seen as a no ?
I'm not talking glittery flip flops but black leather buckle ups . Worn with trousers …

Thank you I was wondering if I’m slightly odd with my footwear wardrobe!
I left a DV situation 6 years ago with just the clothes I was wearing and gradually have now built clothes and footwear that I want and can choose for myself
But I think after reading all the comments and the fact I want to blend in , I shall buy some black boots.

I agree. I don't see anything wrong with the brown Chelsea boots or your outfit.

Not adreesed to you, but the poster who said tights and sandals are no no- you're wrong.

Glad you’ve made your mind up op.
I’m in a similar shoe-less dilemma also sadly for a funeral of a teen.
I don’t own any ‘shoes’ that are smart/sensible/appropriate.
if I have smart work events I tend to wear boots but for day to day in the office I wear trainers. I have lots of pairs of trainers, multiple pairs of flipflops, some heeled sandals, some flat sandals, heeled brogues, I don’t know what else, many many pairs.
My plan is to go shopping tomorrow but the shoe shops available to me (schuh and office) are mostly wall to wall trainers these days with maybe a few ugly pairs of loafers. I think even our Russel and Bromley have gone now so I’m stuck where to actually buy any ‘proper shoes’.

The dead don’t care. Wear what you feel comfortable in and is appropriate for the weather. Anyone judging you doesn’t matter.

I am the same as you op and footwear choices for me are comfortable trainers, sandals, mules or boots. I only possess one pair of shoes and they are leopard print.

I think you will be absolutely fine.

I have a funeral next week and I will
be wearing black trousers and sandals too.

Why can't you wear boots? If they're smart enough for the office they'll be fine. Sandals are a bit borderline because you have your toes out so it's not far from being barefoot.

Nobody will care about your footwear. As long as you aren't wearing crocs or slides, you will be fine.

We've had 3 parent funerals in the last few years and I don't think I even glanced at people's feet.

They’re DM’s, and also looking a bit tatty so I ‘make do’ with wearing them with wide leg trousers - I really need to have some shoe options going into the nicer weather anyway!
I only ever need to be a bit smarter for work about once a month and it’s not a corporate environment, a lot of people would still wear trainers on days they need to be looking a bit more groomed than usual but I wouldn’t.

I can honestly say I have no idea what people wore on their feet at my husband's funeral.

I had to buy loafers for a funeral two years ago because I can't fit into high heels I bought years ago. Glad to have them now for future funeral services. Just invest in a pair for all other services OP.

Surely the people who matter (the bereaved) won't care what you have on your feet?

At my dad's funeral I appreciated those who attended because they loved him/us and those who attended to support us but who didn't even know dad (friends of mine, friends of my sister, people from mam's exercise class etc) - they could have worn flip flops for all it mattered.

We had to go to one in joggers and trainers recently as the death happened whilst we were visiting in the highlands over Christmas. We sat near the back and didn't go to the pub afterwards (wouldn't have done anyway) but my partner had to do a carry dressed that way. My impression was that the part of the family we knew were still pleased that we came.

If you take care either the rest of your dress and behaviour I'm sure it should be fine. I never noticed dress at either of my parents' funerals but I did notice the person taking photos when everyone was waiting at our house before it started and felt that to be disrespectful (but honestly not that important in the scheme of things!)

The family will have bigger things on their minds.

Unless you’re part of the immediate family I probably wouldn’t buy something specific for a funeral. If you’re broadly speaking neat and tidy then that’s absolutely fine in my book. You don’t need tights or black clothes. This isn’t a convent school from 1954. It may not even be a religious service at all so I’d not stress about it.

I’m with you OP - I don’t have black shoes - just boots trainers and sandals

i have other colour shoes - I just don’t like black ones

but I realise that having a couple of “funeral” outfits” for different seasons already worked out makes life a lot easier

you can pick up shoes in ShoeZone quite cheaply

It depends on the weather, maybe not if it's cold and wet

Wear the sandals. No one will care.

They sound like they’re Birkenstock style? I think they sound a bit too casual, a more formal pair of sandals would be fine.

I agree,it'll be fine OP, funerals are nothing like they used to be and I can't remember the last time I even went to one where people were predominantly wearing black.

I agree with this. I don’t think open toed shoes are appropriate. However, I’m aware this is a me thing. I was asked to buy silver shoes for my brother’s wedding, took ages to find a closed toe. Then I found out the bride was wearing sandals!

Do you think the family will be offended? My MIL died earlier in the year and the father of my BIL wife wore jeans to the funeral. DH is still pretty upset/mad about it. Even our 4 yo wasn’t in jeans. But DH wouldn’t have noticed someone in open toed shoes.

I can't recall ever noticing whether anyone has worn sandals at a funeral, but as long as they are plain black and not the type to actually attract attention (vertiginous heels or straps all up your bare calf), I can't imagine anyone noticing or being offended. Especially if you wear black / grey tights as well. I also think you could wear brown boots, not everyone wears full black to a funeral - conservative dark clothing is the norm

As an aside, the idea of not having black shoes baffles me. I'm not big into footwear (my skinny feet say no to a lot of styles) but I do own about 7 pairs of various types of black footwear.

Sorry, only just read your update, so I get the lack of shoes now. Have to say some of mine go back years as I only wear them once in a blue moon.

i had to hunt out a pair of black boots the last funeral i went to, my gym shoes being unsuitable.

I wouldn't. But I think it's generally fine if it's a hot day and the outfit as a whole is appropriate