New York / Long Island wedding July mid 40s. Uk size 10. What to wear?

[incognitomummy]

That’s it really. I’ve been invited to a family wedding in NYC / Long Island this summer.

what should I wear?!

there are 3 days of events so I also need something to wear to the pre wedding dinner also in Long Islndand a post wedding party near Central Park.

help!

im a single mum, will have my kids with me teens / tweens, UK10, 5’3

any links would be helpful. Thx.

You surely wouldn’t wear that to a wedding? 😲

You don’t give a budget. To bridge the gap between the US predilection for black tie evening wear in daylight, and the Great British Day Dress I’d probably choose something from:

https://uk.realisationpar.com/

Maybe one long sleeved and one strappy / halternecked. Pure silk makes them adaptable for extreme heat and air conditioned rooms. They’re recognisable in the US. And they’re wondrously packable.

We went to the US for a Long Island wedding in 2023. It was hot . Very dressy, more like a NYE vibe for the actual wedding and it was a church! Several wore full length gowns but it was not black tie so certainly not all. The rehearsal dinner was much less formal, the Nobody's Child dress would work for that.

Anywhere except England avoid florals
You want something smart I would say a heavy linen that won’t crumble like a dish cloth and light colour that suits you for the main event
And then maybe a trouser suit for Central Park because you’re gonna be doing a lot of walking flats would be ideal trainers would be great

I had a look at Massimo Dutti because they do a lot of elegant dresses that are quite simple but I’m not loving the colours at the moment - a bit turgid. Mango always seem to do a lot of glamorous dresses. They are absolutely not my normal go to but I know US weddings lean much more glamourous than ours. I’ve inadvertently gone for the reds haven’t I ?? Not my intention. I just wanted to show a selection. I’m assuming air con for a lot of it.

I would also think about hair and makeup for the wedding as they tend to look more polished in the US. Would you book a blow dry for the wedding?
I used a similar experience to update my makeup bag. It was nice to have these things after the wedding. So for me it made more sense to spend money on makeup than my dress.
I would look in Zara, Mango, reserved, next, lipsy etc for dresses. Phase eight do petite dresses which might be good. Adriana Papell has gorgeous dresses but more pricey
I also bought costume jewellery to bring it all together - nothing fancy - just from the high street.
Shoes I got from Shein!
For my son I got a dinner suit from next website - they have them in for prom right now but do sell out so I'd recommend to get it soon.
Have an amazing time!

I hate that cake shoving crap. People have been seriously injured by the supporting sticks in the cake. I don’t understand it at all.

This is when they push your face into the entire cake. Awful.

Mango do beautiful glamorous dresses, they had a cape style one recently.

It's likely not in daylight, though. Evening weddings are legal and common in the US.

You def need to check the running order/style of the wedding

my DS is getting married here and we have american relatives coming over for it who all asked if they needed to change for the evening-
apparently if it is a church wedding then a gap in time ppl change into fancy sparkly evening things.

Ah edited to say just say your update-think very sparkly and glam for the evening. Is there a different venue/dress for ceremony?

All the more reason for a long silk dress, @knitnerd90!

Anyone else wondering if it's Taylor swifts wedding 🤣🤣

Hmm … 😄

Which is more likely:

Taylor Swift’s wedding absolutely stuffed with guests in John Lewis sourced frocks?

Taylor Swift employing the entire forces of Chanel for a month to costume her entire wedding party and guests and wedding staff in both vintage and new couture clothing, footwear, hair and make up across a week long celebration?

I know you probably don't want to stick out OP but I think it would be lovely if you wore something 'English' rather than trying to match the NY set. Still within the dress code but e.g. an Alice Temperly vibe or even florals! Maybe something vampire's wife (-inspired? Or Rented?)

NYC at that time will be hot. Take cotton or linen. No polyester or other artificial fibres - which are tacky anyway.

Dress styles in NYC (I've just been there for work) can vary. City girls in offices wear dresses - little fitted straight dresses or shifts, often sleeveless with a little jacket or cardigan for the A/C. Generally they dress quite smartly, but that's office/work wear. I always find women wear more dresses in the US than in the UK (suits me!) I don't generally wear high street stuff, but think summer dresses in Hobbs or Reiss.

People dress up for specific occasions, however. Again, well-fitted, no polyester, something sleeveless and a short jacket or short cardigan. Long Island will be a bit more rural if you're out in the white fence suburbia bit of LI.

If you had the time, you could go to T J Maxx or Burlington (cheap) or Nordstrom Rack (but more pricey but lovely stuff) when you arrive and buy something suitable.

Agree upthread - NO hats (and especially not naff fascinators). The Nobody's Child dress upthread is lovely for a modest village family wedding but not for a more formal wedding even in the UK, and certainly not in Manhattan or LI. It might be OK for a family informal drinks & snacks meet up afterwards.

Lots of church weddings in the US are in the evening. Many denominations and individual churches in the US are fine with bare shoulders. The level of AC would be more of a concern than modesty whatever the venue, so some type of wrap is a good idea.

Would this chiffon maxi work for any element of it, OP?

Ro&Zo high-neck lilac chiffon maxi

Just to note, on S&B you'll get a lot of panic about artificial fabrics if there is even the slightest hint of heat, but in reality I find that cotton, linen and silk - although lovely in theory - don't always travel well, can be impractical for spills/marks, and can leave you more self-conscious than fabric blends.

I think you should upload the invitations so we can all fantasise about going advise you very precisely given the venues etc.

I love this but it’s pricey
https://www.thereformation.com/products/annabelle-silk-dress/1311871AIT.html?dwvar_1311871AIT_color=AIT&_gl=11c0s3ng_up*MQ..&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIpqvI-b_6kwMVwo9QBh3awxYxEAAYASAAEgJaLPD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAABnwCwetVUpfwA-ECqeP4I_WHvB9e
I like this for the other events ( not the wedding itself)
https://mintvelvet.com/products/button-front-linen-waistcoat-1
Although the model looks like she needs to size up

If you go on to pinterest or tiktok and enter american black tie wedding in new york you will see almost nothing on this thread is right.

There are loads of lovely links but missing the mark of the brief.

https://www.brides.com/story/black-tie-wedding-guest-dress-code-long-gowns

for a bit of inspiration/starting point

I agree. Most of the things linked on this thread are not formal enough for the wedding. Some of them could work for the rehearsal dinner though.

Totally agree. It will be smart and polished in a way that is just not British! things /designers I wear in NYC which always get compliments are both Donna Karan pieces - a very relaxed boho style suit that is amazingly cut for my body, and a very slim black linen dress with a feature collar that is very flattering, smart and easy to wear.

Thank you for this. I was thinking the dress code sounded far more than glamorous and formal than some had linked to.

however one of the less formal outfits will work for the wedding rehearsal dinner.

Planning…. long for the black tie wedding
short for the post wedding cocktail party

What's your budget @incognitomummy? I'm from NY (and Long Island), so might have some thoughts. Where roughly is it on LI? Nassau County golf club will have a different vibe than the Hamptons.

That Reformation one that @unsevered67 posted is a good option.

I've been to four black tie weddings there in the last year and I would say a floor length gown isn't necessary, and I'd go sophisticated over poufy. And, yes, it could be very hot.

Adding that I wore this to 2 of the 4 and didn't feel at all underdressed
https://saloniworld.com/products/michelle-dress-in-nerine-azure

Black tie to cocktail dress is exactly right - i.e. evening wear, not day dresses. Definitely more on the glam side than typical for a UK wedding.