I always look scruffy! Help!

[justascruffbag]

I am admittedly time poor with two small children, who are at preschool 3 mornings a week which is when I do housework, sit down, and do a lot of cooking.

In the winter I wear jeans, white t shirt, cashmere jumper and trainers. I have a wax barbour coat which gets used for almost every occasion.

In the summer it's white t shirt and linen wide leg trousers in various shades. I have birkenstocks and a pair of Hermes Oran's.

That all sounds fine on paper but no matter what I always look scruffy. I hate it. I feel like it's all lipstick on a pig if you know what I mean.

My hair never looks right, I'm a really chronic nail biter and this is never going to change, I used to have my nails done religiously (acrylics just short and a nice colour) but I'm trying to reduce my toxic load and that was an easy cut.

I do look better when my hair is blow dried but it always ends up in a ponytail anyway.

Anyway, if you're one of those people who always looks polished - what do you prioritise and how do you fit it in your day?

Its rarely practical for me to shower in the morning which doesn't help either!

Do you have any skin products/make up that make you glow with one all over application? Am I asking for the moon on a stick? 😂

Your wardrobe sounds chic. I bet you look nice. I wonder if your standards are unfeasibly high? Are you comparing yourself to instagram influencers?

I always wear basic makeup. Foundation, powder, blush, mascara, eyebrow pencil and lipstick. Earrings and perfume. I can do the entire thing in ten minutes. I use a bit of highlighter too … just a smidge for a bit of a glow. Beauty Flash balm or something not too obvious.

I tint my own brows but how do you do your lashes?

I bit my nails well into adulthood. I had to use the yucky tasting varnish stuff religiously, leave one or two nails unpainted so you still have something to gnaw on. Eventually they get longer and I can't imagine biting them now.

Not Instagram influencers, think I'm a bit old for that! 😝

But I do compare myself to a few well groomed friends and to my pre-children self!

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Carry a nail file at all times so you can get those snags off before you attack them. I'm the same re snags and have long natural nails because I have nail files everywhere.

Love this thread! Super scruff here also. Really dont help myself with clothes. Had a baby in Jan and still wearing pregnancy leggings some days! So hard to not pick the comfy options. Im clueless with skin care. But I got a bob cut and that definitely helps with my fine hair. Used to spend a lot having my hair coloured but now just using box dye to try and save money. If anyone's any advice on good self colouring options that'd be great. I just use L'Oréal casting creme and seems ok.

Sorry to jump on OP but I think your style sounds great - where do you buy your cashmere jumpers and jeans from??

I just use the same one when I do my brows. Put it on like mascara with the spoolie and take it off with a cotton pad. I’m not particularly fair but it still makes a massive difference! I also curl my lashes every day as well actually which makes me look less tired.

Really? Ypu don’t understand that people might not have a wardrobe full of things they are ‘madly in love’ with? Lots of reasons, for reference. Non standard size, limited funds, limited time. Not being the sort of person who is madly in love with inanimate objects.

I like to paint my nails and I have a Leighton Denny metal file in its own case but , despite looking at YouTube videos on how to file nails, I just can't do it. they end up uneven and raggy.

I have wild naturally curly frizzy hair, and I always admire those women who look effortlessly well groomed as I feel that they must have time to achieve that when I didn’t. I have a head like a potato when I wear my hair up so that’s never a quick option for me. Things I do for myself- treat myself to straightening my hair a couple of times a week, use a cream to hide my eye bags (big difference!) and do a skin care routine most nights to give myself a bit of self care. I’ll never have straight polished lines but I have cracking biker boots, tights without holes, a dress and a smart jacket to create my look.

@Frostynoman Thank you!

Ah thank you! Just M&S, Boden has some great colours this year (slightly thinner knit which I personally like for cardigans), Uniqlo, and lots of vinted finds!

Jeans are actually part of the problem 😂 my current pairs are supermarket brands and not working for me! Just a straight leg pair and a wide leg pair but I ended buying them because they are stiff denim which I like. I just think the fit is all wrong.

I’m not sure how frizzy your hair is but have you thought about “hair Botox” or a keratin treatment? You do it in salon. Worked wonders for a friend of mine. Then you don’t have to bother everyday. My hair is too fine for that sort of treatment but having my hair done does make me look less feral! I’ve seen a friend immediately post blowdry who I didn’t even notice wasn’t wearing make up until she pointed it out, hair really is your “crown” as they say.

Jewellery can be hard if young children grab it… but otherwise that’s a good elevator. And styles you never have to take off and on.

Also eyebrow tinting&threading and you might consider a permanent lip blush? I’ve thought about the lip blush as I look like I have no mouth without lip liner and lipstick (not because they are small but just the colour of them)

On nails, a brand called The Manicurist does these at home non toxic treatments you can apply but they are basically nicely tinted idiot proof applicator nail polishes, like a clear glaze etc

I went through this too and my thoughts are the following:
-always wear jewellery necklace and earrings
-lip liner (not as scary as sounds) and long lasting lip tint I use Avon
-eyebrows tint shape, eyelashes same if cba with mascara
-eyeshadow primer before eyeshadow keeps it in place
-set spray after applying make up to keep in place
-my hair is wild too so end up tying it up, but you could go for half up

Like looking in a mirror OP!!

I do get BIAB manicures, I don’t know much about toxic load but I feel a zillion times better with my
nails done and it completely removes any temptation to pick too.
I also have very fine hair that gets greasy fast so I do get bleach highlights as it adds some texture. Some good products when you blow dry will give you an extra day or so (I love the Living Proof range)
Jewellry! I feel more put together with my earrings and necklaces in. Sunglasses too!

I’m also a big fan of ‘dopamine dressing’ as they coined it but essentially wearing clothes you actually like that make you feel like you. Your wardrobe does sound lovely though!!

For my school run rush mornings I always do my skincare (can get through that in less than 10 mins now though!) and I’ll use dry shampoo to tie my hair in to a low pony.

I have a revlon blow dry brush and even if I have no time to wash my hair, a spritz of dry shampoo on the roots and a blast with the dryer on the ends makes the world of difference to my just got out of bed hair.

Well I have bitten my nails for a long time.Managed to grow them for my DS wedding.I Touch wood have managed to stop. painted them with clear polish each week ,2 coats .or a nice pink/gold/red for special occasions meals/shopping etc .No manicures just me doing my own! I can't help with the rest as I always look a bit ruffled if Im honest. DM used to wonder why I was one of those little girls who got dirty socks/dresses, or lost her hairband when small!

I always end up biting my nails if not painted.
Thing that made a difference was the seche vite top coat which really stops the varnish chipping. If you get it watch a video on how to use it. Now I paint them and don't bite.

Other than that...
Tinted moisturiser or light foundation, eyebrows, clean and increased clothes (I have a small steamer which is easy).
I have curly hair too but just embrace the messiness of it.

I'm going to go back and read the full thread as I'm enjoying everyone's contributions so I may be repeating other posters here but wanted to share my thoughts as I'm also 38 with two young children but have just had what I describe as being my "glow up year" as I wanted to finally feel better about myself before I hit the big 40.

What has worked best for me is:

Hair - I get a Brazilian Blow Dry every six months. It just makes my frizzy, unruly hair far more smooth and sleek so I can roughly dry it, give it a brush and it looks reasonable. If I tie it up I always put it in a claw clip as I find that looks more intentional than just shoved up in a ponytail.

Eyebrows - they really do make all the difference. I get mine microbladed every 18 months or so because they're very sparse but it means they are permanently done with no effort from me day to day. If you already have decent eyebrows just a regular tint and shape may be all you need.

Skin - I found a simple skincare routine, nothing convoluted or expensive but I stick to it religiously. I think a daily vitamin C serum in the morning and glycolic acid every other evening have made the biggest difference to me. Plus SPF 50 every day, drinking water, taking vitamins etc and all the other sensible self-care things.

Nails - I just keep them short and clean and I paint on a nail hardener once a week. I get a gel pedicure in the spring and summer when I'm more likely to wear sandals.

Makeup - I do a light 3 minute makeup every day and feel so much better for it. Just Erborian CC cream as a base, Elf tubing mascara, a bit of blush and a tinted lip balm. Then a spray of perfume. It takes hardly any time but makes me feel more put together.

Clothes - your style actually sounds great. I got rid of any of my clothes that made me feel crap this year so I've got far fewer items but everything makes me feel nice.

Jewellery - I permanently wear very simple gold jewellery. A short snake chain necklace, gold stud earrings and a simple bracelet. I don't take them off, just swap them out for other things every so often. I'd rather have five nice pieces of good quality jewellery that I can sleep and shower in than fifty cheap items that make my ears hurt or my skin turn green if I leave them in.

I think it's the small details that can elevate a basic outfit and turn you from scruffy to smart. I'm just in jeans and a jumper today but they're colours that suit me, they are clean and I have neat hair, my jewellery on and a bit of light makeup so I feel good.

Oh and I also started doing a weekly "everything shower" this year and I swear it has made a massive difference to my mindset. DH watches the kids whilst I lock myself in the bathroom for half an hour or so on a Sunday afternoon and I have my me-time and go all out with products whilst I listen to a podcast.

I apply a face mask then get in the shower and do everything. Shave, body scrub to exfoliate, wash everything, double shampoo and a deep conditioning mask on my hair etc. Body lotion, and foot cream when I get out. A beautiful smelling body lotion in autumn/winter and a gradual tanning one in spring/summer.

It means if the rest of the week goes to pot I at least know I've had a proper pamper session on a Sunday and it's not weeks since I last shaved my legs! 🤣

@justascruffbaghave you thought of doing your own nails, and buying the acrylics which would save you a fortune if your looking to save money? I love my girly time.

Jeans, tee, jumper, and cosy sound pretty much the norm when you're a busy active mom. It's what I wore when mine were younger. It just sounds like you might need to get some new styles in jeans, and tops. Maybe a brightly coloured fun jacket would help too

My hair has always been my pride, and joy even when the youngsters were young so finding a manageable modern style is the way forward. If any greys are seeping through and you don't want to spend the money at the hairdresser's, you can DIY a colour.

As you have a skin routine makeup wise, lipgloss, eyeliner, eyebrows brush, and mascara are basic enough, for the day time. A primer too is also useful.

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Good luck with it all

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