I always look scruffy! Help!

[justascruffbag]

I am admittedly time poor with two small children, who are at preschool 3 mornings a week which is when I do housework, sit down, and do a lot of cooking.

In the winter I wear jeans, white t shirt, cashmere jumper and trainers. I have a wax barbour coat which gets used for almost every occasion.

In the summer it's white t shirt and linen wide leg trousers in various shades. I have birkenstocks and a pair of Hermes Oran's.

That all sounds fine on paper but no matter what I always look scruffy. I hate it. I feel like it's all lipstick on a pig if you know what I mean.

My hair never looks right, I'm a really chronic nail biter and this is never going to change, I used to have my nails done religiously (acrylics just short and a nice colour) but I'm trying to reduce my toxic load and that was an easy cut.

I do look better when my hair is blow dried but it always ends up in a ponytail anyway.

Anyway, if you're one of those people who always looks polished - what do you prioritise and how do you fit it in your day?

Its rarely practical for me to shower in the morning which doesn't help either!

Do you have any skin products/make up that make you glow with one all over application? Am I asking for the moon on a stick? 😂

I use APE collagen in my coffee every morning!

Hmmm... You could make some easy changes that don't take time and make a big difference, but many don't seem aware of. My morning routine is under 5 mins thanks to those.

Hair - blow dry and style once a week. If you don't have a good hair style, get it done - something easy maintenance and easy colour. Hair condition is super important, and can be achieved with the help of a good hairdresser

Nails - you can do them at home with ease once a week, say before bed. I use fast dry cheap nail polishes from Rimmel, they're so easy and many lovely colours

Skin - again, good condition is key. Ensure you use good skincare to make sure it's moisturised, but good food and sleep are even more important. For a quick fix, La Roche Posay SPF 50 every morning - instant glow - and some BB cream on top. You likely don't need more. This is the only thing I do in the morning in terms of 'make-up'

Brows and lashes - get them regularly done for a groomed look

Clothing, no notes. Just make sure they are fresh and clean and not too worn

I shower and wash and blow my hair daily and wear make up. If you want to look polished that’s the price you pay I’m afraid. No hack that’s going to make you look good if you don’t shower and roll out of bed to school gate.

I think it’s genetic and I’ve got scruffy genes too so I can’t help I’m afraid 😂

Fellow nail biter here. Still fighting the habit! Clear nail varnish, and carry an emerybiard with you everywhere.

I got away with being pretty grungy goth when young but somehow the "couldn't care less" look became "didn't make an effort" dammit. I had to get smarter 😭

The thing that made the biggest difference was that I gave up with my long straggly hair and got it cropped and spiky, and now it looks deliberately messy instead of just ...messy.

Also as PP said - jewellery. Go bolder.

Are you taking vitamin C with your collagen, else it won’t work properly.

I take some a couple of times a week and eat an orange and have a multi vitamin.

I have never had a professional blow dry or had my nails done professionally but I never look scruffy.
I also wear quite cheap clothes and rarely use any products or expensive make up etc due to low income.

I always have my nails painted and pluck my eyebrows.
If you don’t know how to shape your eyebrows then you can pay to get this done and then keep on top of it with tweezers.

I use a moisturiser that has a hint of tan in it and I think makes you look a bit healthier. All I need to do is add a bit of mascara and I look decent.

I wouldn’t bother showering in the morning, especially not washing your hair else you’ll have to dry it etc.
I find washing my hair too often makes it greasy.
Find easy styles that suit you.

My go to - wash your hair the night before and then put it in plaits. When you wake up take it out of the plaits and it will be wavy.
Then the next day I’ll straighten it or have a half up/half down style.
And if I can get away with a 3rd day then I put it in a bun with nice earrings.

I can get away with a high bun, high pony tail or low plait etc but do not suit a mid pony tail.
So it’s just about finding what works for you.

Also, I only do things because it makes me feel good. I do not care about anyone else’s opinion and you shouldn’t either.

I agree with the PP that having long hair can sometimes look scraggly.

Too short hair can apparently take a lot of maintenance though.

So maybe having a cut to a bob/shoulder length would be easy to maintain.

You can wash it the night before, blow dry it so it’s straighter and then the next day put it hair up in a claw clip.

In my 50s now and always messy. I remember a really good friend I had in my early 20s looking effortlessly polished because her hair was naturally ‘done’ (long curly - she really lent into it), she did her coat up and all the proportions of her clothing worked.

i am less scruffy these days but its not effortless. Hair is my perpetual struggle so leaving that aside, as others say, consistency in skin care, make up that is quick, light and suits. Colours that both bring you joy and suit you. I find accessories help a lot as well - belts, jewellery, the right footwear (both for practicality and look). My teen dd hates them but there are loads of wear vs styling reels on insta which I have found helpful to give me better ideas.

I am poor at outerwear so that’s my next thing to tackle. Oh and try something g a bit different as well. I always thought I needed scoop or v necks for example but recently have been trying shorter funnel neck jumpers and they suit my proportions way better than I was expecting. Still comfy jumpers and jeans but a bit different

As another fine-hair girl whose hair gets greasy after just a day, my favourite trick is to use dry shampoo before bed on the day I wash my hair. Avoid Batiste. Schwarzkopf do a couple of really great dry shampoos with the perfect consistency, and they don’t leave your hair chalky or white.

Also echoing another post: glycolic acid and retinol, then every morning Garnier Vitamin C Glow SPF50. It’s honestly a game changer. I’m super pale with rosacea and I fake tan regularly, and this SPF still gives such a healthy, natural glow.

For a sleek bun, my absolute go-to is the Balmain double hair extension brush, it finishes your hair beautifully with zero flyaways.

And finally, never underestimate a red lip, it distracts in the best way and pulls everything together.

I just ordered the gadget, obsessed 🤩

A bit of lip pencil, eye brow pencil and a fringe/bangs.. makes me feel less scruffy!

Things that help me feel more “put together”

minimal every day make up, for me this is concealer under eyes and cover up any blemishes, bronzer, blush, eyebrows, (no mascara I like to rub my eyes too much!) and a lip stain, the lips probably the thing that makes the most difference tbh. I love the wonderskin one in colour whimsical, a sorta your lips but better berry colour. Elf do a good one too.

clean trainers, adidas or similar.

if I don’t have time for a proper hair style, stick it back in a low clip with middle part, I got some nice gold ones from asos, like jewellery for your hair.

ironing clothes!

I self tan once a week, I know it’s not for everyone but I swear by st tropez express tan, leave it on for 2-3 hours and wash off, no stained bed sheets and it give a lovely natural colour and fades nicely without streaks. I also like the Utan face spray, it just gives a nice glow and absolutely doesn’t look like fake tan. I’m very pale so look deathly ill naturally but I hate the orange fake tan look.

I don’t bother with manicures, I’m a nurse so a nightmare to get off and not allowed in work so just been them short and evenly filed.

jewellery, doesn’t need to be ott just a single bare of gold small hoops and a dainty chain will do, a ring or two if you fancy.

perfume every day, a nice scent will automatically make it seem like you make a bit of effort.

No style advice but have you ever had your iron levels checked OP? I was a terrible nail biter all through childhood, teens, twenties and assumed I’d never be able to stop. Turned out it was an anaemia symptom for me. As long as I keep up with the iron supplements, I don’t bite.

OP I am exactly the same! I have a 10 month and 2 year old and I look like I've just rolled out of bed everyday because that's exactly what I've done.

When I catch sight of myself in the car wing mirror I'm horrified, either looking like a founding father with my low pony tail, or Vicky Pollard with hair scraped back.

I'm eternally on a journey to look put together but it never seems to stick. I think you're doing very well to shower and hair wash the night before, most days I don't manage this!

My ideal goal is:

• Monthly: Nails & eyebrows.
• Night before: hair wash, dry shampoo so it doesn't go greasy (my hair is very fine!), lay clothes out.
• Morning: quick shower & skin care (I use La Roche Posay Hyalauronic acid and CeraVe moisturuser)
• Quick makeup - Loreal plumping tinted serum is genuinely a game changer, I've had SO many people tell me my skin looks lovely when wearing it.
• Gold earrings, outfit - white tshirt, knitted jumper, jeans (I wear Levi's 501) and then my Hunter Chelsea boots or similar.

This is what I am aiming for, especially as I go back to work in January! In reality I am very far from it - currently sat with an Elsa plait in my hair, a hoody that I wore to bed last night :)

Except that I didn’t just say bung on a hat and stop ironing. We may have to agree to disagree on this, but objectively, ironing her jeans isn’t going have much impact on the OPs overall look.

OP think through your whole outfit and study other people who wear a version of your clothes. Ask yourself what they are doing that makes a difference? Is it the hair, the shoes, the coat? What is that gives them that extra energy? More often than not, people who look a bit scruffy are wearing the wrong colour and shape for them and leaning into what actually suits them would make a big difference.

Also I wouldn't recommend Batiste Dry Shampoo - in my humble opinion the Living Proof one is the best!

A few weeks ago I saw a woman I used to work with. She always wore beautiful, stylish clothes to work. She would style her long hair every day. She always had a fresh manicure and wore heels and had a stylish handbag. She wore makeup but it was minimal. We both used to wear jewellery.

When I saw her recently we were both dressed the similarly. Both in jeans and joggers. We had the same exact shade of green top. We both had our hair back (hers was now short) and she was wearing a backpack. Neither of us were wearing makeup.

I used to have my eyebrows shaped and tinted and my eyelashes tinted. I used to wear a full face of makeup and get my hair coloured every 4 to 5 weeks and always had a fresh manicure. I’ve stopped wearing jewellery other than earrings.

You could make massive changes by getting your eyebrows and eyelashes done - getting some Botox and fillers and wearing a tinted sunscreen (BB cream) and a lip stain. You need to stop eating your nails (it’s gross) and get some highlights and lowlights in your hair. Maybe invest in some more shoes and get some tops that aren’t t-shirts. Boden has some nice blouses - as does Next and River Island and Monsoon. Wearing jewellery will also elevate your look.

That's really interesting! Unfortunately, my iron levels are good 😂 wish that was the reason!!

I was on my own with 4DC and youngest was a newborn and for me it was all about being organised,so when my DC were all in bed and asleep I'd get everyone's clothes laid out and ready the night before,so clothes,underwear,shoes and that would be for all 4DC and myself.

I'd make sure all of the school bags were ready and that the pram bag was all sorted the night before and honestly it saved me so much time,that and bathing the DC before bed and then I'd have a shower once they were in bed.

I'd get up at 7 am,get my DC up,make breakfast for my 3 oldest,whilst they ate I'd change the baby and breastfeed her then I'd help my second youngest to brush his teeth and get ready whilst my older 2 got ready,if they got ready quickly and nicely then they could watch some tv afterwards and whilst they watched tv I'd get washed,dressed do my hair and make up,stick on some laundry and wash up and we'd be out of the house for 8.30.

Without me sorting stuff the night before we would have been constantly late.

Shower. It makes you feel more awake,
more alert and therefore will
reflect on how you feel about yourself.

How can you now not find time to shower?

I do find time to shower. I have a shower every evening before I go to bed.

The mornings are more difficult with a 2 and 3 year old - a shower is fine but there's not time to blow dry and style my hair. Of course, I could put the kids in front of the TV but I don't want to.

There's been lots of useful advice on this thread about how to refresh my hair in the morning.

Nail biting is hard to stop I eventually done it but doing 1 finger on each hand at a time.
I do my hair daily as this is what makes me feel scruffy

Sorry I've got less time today to reply to everyone but this thread has been so, so useful - thank you everyone!

I think your style etc sound lovely but I’ve gone through your replies and unless someone has mentioned it I don’t think it’s been addressed:

Are you dressing for your body type?
Are you dressing in colours that favour you?

I honestly find these 2 things are crucial. I love oversized looks and earthy tones but I’ve had to just admit they don’t look good on my body type. The difference is night and day. It doesn’t mean that you need to follow online indications to a T but I think it gives a very good pathway.

So far theconceptwardrobe.com has been my favourite for a quick guide, it’s very comprehensive.

Have you tried nail wraps? I use the ones from Lily and Fox, and do them on an evening while watching TV. So much better for your nails than acrylics.