I always look scruffy! Help!

[justascruffbag]

I am admittedly time poor with two small children, who are at preschool 3 mornings a week which is when I do housework, sit down, and do a lot of cooking.

In the winter I wear jeans, white t shirt, cashmere jumper and trainers. I have a wax barbour coat which gets used for almost every occasion.

In the summer it's white t shirt and linen wide leg trousers in various shades. I have birkenstocks and a pair of Hermes Oran's.

That all sounds fine on paper but no matter what I always look scruffy. I hate it. I feel like it's all lipstick on a pig if you know what I mean.

My hair never looks right, I'm a really chronic nail biter and this is never going to change, I used to have my nails done religiously (acrylics just short and a nice colour) but I'm trying to reduce my toxic load and that was an easy cut.

I do look better when my hair is blow dried but it always ends up in a ponytail anyway.

Anyway, if you're one of those people who always looks polished - what do you prioritise and how do you fit it in your day?

Its rarely practical for me to shower in the morning which doesn't help either!

Do you have any skin products/make up that make you glow with one all over application? Am I asking for the moon on a stick? 😂

I think so, I think I very obviously suit some colours more than others but I've never had them analysed.

I do think I need to figure out the shape of my jeans/ trousers.

Tops I know what shapes suit me.

I will have a look at that website thank you!

Wash your hair, rinse then wash it again.
Mine stays looking good much longer than if I just apply one lot of shampoo.

Sounds generally ok to me and much less scruffy than most.

• Have a good hair cut and regular maintenance cuts.
• Get some dry shampoo if your hair is long, and tie it back or plait it.
• File your nails gently and put clear or pale polish on. Invest in a good hand cream for skin and nails.

I keep my nails short because I keep accidentally scratching my DD. They are clean and have clear polish (my nails are actually solid white so as long as they are reasonably shaped clear polish looks like a french manicure). Short is fine, paint them a neutral colour. I don’t actually like acrylics.

Tidy eyebrows and a decent eyebrow pencil go a long way. Line your top lid, doesn’t have to be dramatic but it will give your eyes some definition.

I love givenchy setting powder (the one with 4 sections) it will literally blur away a multitude of sins.

I think you should lean into the wild hair just use a hair mask instead of normal conditioner.

Money. That’s what’s required. With money you can hire a cleaner, even a nanny. Then you will have time to spend some of that money on allowing various beauticians to make you look pretty and get a personal shopper in a department store to stock you up with flattering clothes.

If you don’t have money, then you’re going to be exhausting yourself trying to act like people who do.

If there’s a bit of money, it can honestly be better value to hire a cleaner or nanny and wear Matalan clothes but look fresh, showered and blowdried. Looking fresh in cheaper clothes it’s probably preferable to looking unkept in designer clothes.

I always think that when you see women on the school run with expensive designer handbags. Certain cities are worse for it than others but that obvious £2k designer handbag (real or not) is not distracting us from the greasy hair and M&S pyjamas you’re still wearing.

Miaow!

Under eye concealer, blusher and lip tint are essentials.

Same. I’m part of the scruffy mum club. Hair always a mess and just scraped back. No time for make up, not allowed nails or eyelashes coz I work In a clinical role, children won’t even let me have a wee in peace let alone 15 mins to make myself presentable. Clothes all have various stains from my toddler and his grubby hands. No time for self care as my children don’t bloody sleep. Piled the weight on so no confidence in clothes….

between nursery, school and working full time there is just no time for anything!!

I don’t have any advise but solidarity ✊🏻

I am not one of the put together peeps sadly but the one put together tip I have is pearl or diamond studs or sleeper or huggie earrings ,they always make me feel elegant.
I have wavy hair and lean into my natural texture and is more convenient.

Wow,

Mine don't bloody sleep either 😂 and they like to get up at 6:15am like clockwork no matter what's happened in the night.

They are very good at going to bed though so thankfully I have my evenings!!

OP I’ve not read full thread but you’ve been given some conflicting advice on this thread (none of it wrong, just different perspectives)

My two cents - speaking as single parent who works full time and remembers the lack of time at this age:

• learn your most flattering up do hair style. Mine is a banana clip not a ponytail. If your hair is unstyled//unwashed then it might well look better up than worn loose. (I don’t wear mine out unless I have time to style it)
• Wear a simple wool/non waterproof coat whenever possible. Obvs some days it will be wet and you need something more practical but have a plain simple wool coat to wear whenever it is not raining (doesn’t need to be expensive, New look have a decent one for £40 ish) and if it’s cheap you won’t mind if you do get caught in drizzle occasionally.

anoraks and puffer coats and jackets are the fastest way IMO to look scruffy. Unpopular opinion as everyone seems to always be wearing them - which means if you don’t then it’s an easy but still comfy upgrade to looking smarter. They are also a godsend in covering up an otherwise scruffy outfit (in ways a designer handbag would never be)

Wearing the right colours for your complexion - and having the right hair colour - can certainly make you look more put together.

I'm a scruffbag too but nice earrings, some good hair product to kill frizz and a glowy (fake tanned) face definitely help

Good, well-tailored coats and jackets are my go-to for looking put together. A nice well-fitted long wool coat in camel or navy is always a good buy (I avoid grey or black next to my face as those colours wash me out).

Wearing earring also helps and my nails are always done. A coat of biab and a bright coloured gel on top.

I think it was Coco Chanel who said something along the lines of when you are ready, take a look in the mirror and take one thing off.

I do the opposite. I get ready in top and bottom, or a dress and then look in the mirror and decide what I could add that might elevate that outfit. It might be a scarf, a piece of jewellery (I'm becoming a big fan of brooches) or a belt.

Accessories can go a long way and sometimes one is all that's needed.
If I'm going somewhere where I want to look put together, I try to have half an hour in one of the preceding evenings where I can faff about at leisure.

I disagree with this. A good mascara and natural looking nails IMO. I also recommend a lash lift .

For days when I haven't got the time for polished nails, I use Dior Glow-perfect!
It goes on quickly, impossible to smudge, dries quickly and gives a healthy pink translucent look.

That's true. I mostly wear a smart coat that would have been a special-occasions-only item when I was younger. Even if I'm just wearing jeans and t-shirt under it makes a big difference to how put together I look (and feel).

I recently lost a lot of weight and feel I look a lot smarter now. I always put on makeup, curl my hair into Hollywood waves and accessorise with eye catching jewellery that adds contrast. I’ve stopped wearing anything oversized. I wear tailored or tight. My wide leg trousers are perfectly tailored at the top and worn with a skin tight long sleeve top and beautiful jewellery.
Shoes should be clean always, and I prefer a heel for a smarter look. I rarely wear trainers anymore, unless I’m doing something active.

I feel I am the same as you, and I also don't like wearing jeans and tight bottoms so often in leggings or joggers.

When I look at other people (as I am not one of them) wearing leggings, sweatshirts, joggers who still look put together they often have a full face of make up and jewellery on.

It won’t help in the winter, but I’d switch linen for cotton in the summer — I always used to feel scruffy in linen because it creases so easily, and I never wear it now.

This is me to a tee. I usually think I look good or at least ok when I leave the house but then I catch sight of myself or see a picture of myself and I look terrible.

Also 2 young kids and working full time (and bf which is really making me look terrible hahah). My main ones that make me feel human:

Glowy SPF (I like supergoop)
light creamy blusher (I like Charlotte tilbury pillow talk)
I keep my eyebrows neat/shaped & tint them & my lashes myself
always wear perfume, makes me feel nice & in turn look nicer because I feel nicer
Always shower in the morning, as above. Appreciate that might not be where your feeling better lies though.

OP I finally managed to stop nail biting age about 45 after keeping my nails religiously filed smooth (& now I clip and then file them). I was nibbling rough bits but once they are completely smooth I can leave them alone.

also second Erborian CC cream and nice stick blush with lip gloss.

I read a tip on here years ago about always having earrings in, and I now swear by it and feel naked without them! Love a little bling shine when I see myself it really does make a difference 😊