Nobody cares what you wear

[narniabusiness]

Ive seen this phrase countless times on S&B in response to a question about what to wear for a special occasion or holiday. How do you know nobody cares? If people did care how would they let you know?

‘I care, so that’s one person’ is what my teenager said to me… I had no reply to that!

I take it to mean that if you are wearing something which is appropriate then personal taste is neither here nor there.

And by that I mean - any black dress or outfit is fine for a funeral. Any non-white formal dress is fine for a wedding. A sequin or sparkly dress is fine for a Christmas party.

Whether I personally like the black dress or sparkly outfit you've picked is neither here nor there. It doesn't matter if I personally would wear it, or whether I think it's fashionable/frumpy.

Agree, I find it annoying when people say that in response to a post asking for opinions, it’s just a pointless comment.

Totly agree, especially when it's posted on the S&B forum of all places. If you can't ask here, then where can you ask. Another comment people make is that no-one is going to notice you/your clothes. Well I for one do notice other people and their clothes. I love clothes and enjoy seeing what people are wearing.

Its a v irritating comment, intended to make people who care about their appearance seem shallow.

It's as much a decision not to care as it is to care. Everyone wears clothes so choosing ugly / practical / comfortable / unstylish items is just as much effort as choosing nice ones!

It misses the point that people often wear clothes and makeup for themselves, no one else

I prefer people who don’t care what you wear to people who “care” by criticising what you wear

This ⬆️.
It doesn't matter that no-one cares what I wear on a day to day basis. It matters to me because I want to look good and feel nice

I agree with SheinIsShite 100%.
What people do notice is someone wearing scruffy, dirty inappropriate clothing when not doing dirty, manual work.

Do people do that to your face?! How rude. Fortunately, I've not had that.

People always say they don’t care, yet those same people would be slating say a school teacher if they wore a stained, grey, tracksuit with massive dirty boots and had greasy, unwashed hair stuck to their head.

I do notice if someone is unclean. I don’t care if the waiter is wearing Asda George or Georgia Armani but I would care if their clothes were dirty and stained.

I think care is the wrong word.
I don't think people generally care what strangers wear. To me care is a compassionate word. It comes with an emotion.

I think notice is a better term. Do people notice what others wear? Yes. Some will. More will if the outfit is either fabulous or batcrap crazy. But will they care . I doubt it.

Yes, I agree.

Exactly.

If you're asking whether or not this slightly off-white/ light yellow dress is appropriate to wear to a wedding reception, people can give their advice,
or whether you think that this brightly colored skirt, shoes, and matching bag would look okay with a black top when going to a funeral, people can give their advice.
Otherwise, really, nobody cares.
Most people only care what they're wearing and they're barely paying attention to anybody else.

Don't get me wrong, some people will always be judging you... that your skirts too high, your top is too deep cut, that your outfit is too tight...
Maybe they're right, and maybe they're just being judgy.
And a lot of guys will look at you and your outfit, whether you wanted them to or not, cuz that's just what a lot of guys do (I'm amazed when I go somewhere like a restaurant or a social get together, how much attention to detail the men I'm talking to will recall about a woman's outfit, when I can barely even remember what color she was wearing...forget about the style or the cut or how high or low it was. Doesn't register with me at all. But they notice and they remember; they can even remember what a woman wore to a party five Christmases ago! I can't believe it. I know it's not all guys, but a lot of the ones I've talked to seem to have a great memory for this, paying inordinate amount of attention to what women are wearing and how they're wearing it... Not quite sure if that's flattering or a little creepy. Probably a little both.)

My MIL once told me I can't go out "wearing that" as it would "humiliate my son". Her son who was stood next to me. Utterly baffling!

I do find it odd how much weight people give to what others think of their outfit, particularly when they are complete strangers. The threads saying "I'm going to London/Paris/Grimsby on 16th November for the weekend, what should I wear, I don't want to look out of place?" really baffle me, it wouldn't occur to me that random strangers in large towns/cities are going to even notice me, let alone critique my clothing.
The only time I do care about what people have chosen to wear is in the courtroom. Your appearance before the judge does make a difference, and tracksuits aren't the best choice.

Think of the last work meeting you went to. What was the person sat next to you wearing? Think of the last time you saw someone public speaking - what were they wearing? The bride’s sister at the last wedding you went to?

Answering “I don’t know” to those questions is a normal response for a normal level of care for what other people wear. If someone cares more than that, it’s a them problem not a me problem.

BUT there are parameters. I often tell the story of a graduate who turned up to a client zoom meeting in a hoody with the hood up, the guest wearing white at a wedding is a stuff of legend and it will be commented on if you turn up to a funeral in a Bianca Censori outfit.

But if you’re wearing something run of the mill, no one is going to remember what you wore because they just don’t care.

I totally get that often people want a steer on what they should wear for a situation they haven't been in before, whether that's attending a child's graduation, giving evidence in court or going to a royal garden party.

But if someone posts a picture of a dress/hat/shoe combo they are thinking of buying for a royal garden party and asking if it's appropriate, they are looking for a yes/no answer. Or comments about how maybe wedges would be better than heels on grass, or how there's a lot of standing around so think about a wrap/jacket. What they're NOT looking for is for people to comment on whether posters personally like their outfit.

I'd also agree witth @CryMyEyesViolet that if someone is dressed appropriately for the occasion you probably don't notice. You'd notice/remember if someone turned up to a Christmas party in a swimsuit, or at a funeral in a pink tutu.

People always say that other people are obsessed with themselves and don't care about (or notice) other people.

But if I see someone wearing a hideous dress, for example, I do notice. However, whether I still remember by the time I get home is another matter, and why would anyone who doesn't know me from Adam care what I think anyway.

So I can kind of see why people say who cares.

Yeah it’s a bit odd. For a few reasons

firstly I care, as does anyone asking, otherwise why ask.
secondly often the person your with cares to an extent and doesn’t want you looking like a bag of spanner’s.
thirdly people do notice if you look really nice or really bad, they just don’t really notice if you look average and non descript, a bit meh.

and no one should aim to look a bit meh.

Well, I care what I look like and I enjoy putting outfits together and thinking about what goes with what and whether it suits me. I also notice what other people are wearing because it might give me some new ideas. So I don't agree that "nobody cares" and when someone says that I can't help wondering what they're doing in S&B if they're not interested in clothes!

Yes as long as you dress appropriately, that is the key. Dd interviewed someone over teams for a job once. When he finally turned his camera on he was wearing a hoodie with hood up! She asked him to take his hood down. He was also positioned in front of a poster advertising beer. He didn’t get the job.

It’s also a really rude response, a real put down, if someone is asking for help.

Yes, i agree with this^^. As long as it is appropriate and as long as the person wearing it is happy, I truly don't care