Nobody cares what you wear

[narniabusiness]

Ive seen this phrase countless times on S&B in response to a question about what to wear for a special occasion or holiday. How do you know nobody cares? If people did care how would they let you know?

I think it depends on the thread.
Telling somebody 'nobody cares' on a thread where somebody has asked for specific advice for an event isn't helpful but if it's meant to reassure somebody who maybe isnt confident wearing something then it's probably meant well.

Although speaking as somebody who often goes out in questionable outfits I've found that if anybody cares they keep it to themselves!

This reply was in response to me saying I like to plan my outfits for a special occasion. It struck me that I would hate the reverse more. To be underdressed and too casual at a wedding or office or restaurant, whatever the occasion. I would hate to be the scruffy badly dressed person in a room of glamorous people. So I’d rather be slightly overdressed, but no tottering or heavy makeup though.

Yes, with knobs on!

Sali Hughes once did a beauty article entitled ' Things I can't live without' on her Guardian page (I think it was TG). She listed her favourite products. Obviously it was a bit of very enjoyable journalese. Some silly woman wrote to her to say that she obviously didn't have much of a life if she couldn't live without these things. Sali had the wit to reply that she (the silly woman) obviously didn't have much of a life to bother to read and write her reply.

“No one cares” is such a mean spirited response. It’s designed to belittle the person asking and highlight their apparent vanity and shallow mindedness.

I care what I wear and whilst I don’t care what others wear I’m certainly interested and enjoy seeing other peoples outfits.

I care what I wear as a good outfit makes me feel more confident.

I do also love people watching and part of that is what they wear, I love to see great outfits..

A "good outfit" is so subjective though.

I don't care or remember what anyone wears. I have friends who never dress up for any occasion, so what, I love them and have fun. Xxx

Absolutely. But the key for me is that I feel good. It is nice to receive compliments on an outfit but I dress to feel confident and comfortable not for others.

And I do like to get outfit inspiration from others and remember those whose style I admire.

Well, obviously!

Interesting.. I have to ask, why do you wear makeup with dungarees but not with skinny jeans? I would have thought it would be the other way round. In my head, dungarees are less dressy than black skinny jeans, which would naturally go with rock-chick type makeup, whereas dungarees are more outdoorsy and a makeup-free look.

I love clothes! I love planning outfits and packing lists for trips and browsing on line. I also love admiring other women’s clothes and looks. I too find the No one cares nonsense so mean spirited and unnecessary. And in fact blatantly untrue as obviously loss of people care or, more accurately, are interested.

People very often do let me know they like what I’m wearing. They stop me in the street or tell me at family gatherings or when I’m visiting friends … (Only my closest family tell me if they think I’m wearing something terrible.)

But really - offering an anonymous opinion on S&B is very different. I spend far too much time here, forensically assessing the merits and demerits of garments - more because I’m obsessed with clothes than because I’m much bothered by what other people choose, though I’m always glad to help. Just because I spend a few minutes searching out an outfit for an Internet stranger does not mean I’m going to notice or care what they’re wearing in real life. There are simply too many humans for any but the most singularly dressed to stand out.

Not caring is fine. But I’ve no time for people who don’t care but who clearly care that other people care.

I've had nice comments from strangers on my outfits before so ppl do notice. I guess ppl mostly keep the negative to themselves. I don't really understand why ppl post on S&B if they don't care about clothes though, seems like it would be a waste of their time.

Come on now what was it ? 😁

I think " no one cares" can also mean you are being too self critical. I was brought up by a mother who was very self critical and raised me that way. It wasn't always a good thing. We are our worst critics. The reality is that if there is someone say at the beach in a swimsuit with a bit of a tummy or wobbly thighs who DOES care? I think that's why you see this response sometimes on here.

I find it to be a pointless and irritating comment in Style & Beauty.

I find it particularly grating when someone is trying to find out what sort of thing would be appropriate to wear to a particular event.

The one that got me recently was when someone said they had nothing to wear to a funeral and asked for suggestions of what she could wear (larger woman who was struggling to work out what to buy) and was told no one would care and she should just wear any black or dark coloured smart clothes she had. The OP had literally just posted that she had no smart clothes at all.

It always comes across like the poster is saying “ffs you don’t actually matter so why would what you wear matter?” It’s never helpful, it’s never kind, it always reads like it was typed with a sneer.

I’ve always liked the attitude of the Cranford ladies, as described by Rlizabeth Gaskell:

”Their dress is very independent of fashion; as they observe, “What does it signify how we dress here at Cranford, where everybody knows us?” And if they go from home, their reason is equally cogent, “What does it signify how we dress here, where nobody knows us?””

You're right - I just phrased it badly! I meant dungees vs no dungees or make up vs no makeup

When I think say "no one cares" when people ask what they should wear out for the day in London, it's not in any way meanspirited, I'm thinking they should enjoy their day out, no one is judging them, no one is particularly even noticing them (of course on Mumsnet everyone gets compliments from random strangers daily) and should focus on having a great day, not being anxious that they'll be wearing something out of style, in a capital city with millions of people.

Who knows if other people care what you’re wearing, when I go out I have no idea what anyone’s thinking about my clothes however I, and most people, don’t dress in such a way that ‘other people’ would think I looked disgusting but generally I dress according to where I’m going, how I feel, what the weathers like etc and try to look presentable and put together.

Instagram is full of people with hundreds of thousands of followers who tell us what to wear, to what occasion and where to buy it so obviously people do care

What the ‘nobody in London cares’ posts ignore (and I say ‘ignore’ because it’s been pointed out often enough) is that for many of us on this board. a trip to London is a treat and that the treat isfurther enhanced by wearing a great outfit.

Yes this too - so add snobbery to my mean spirited.

no one posting “no one cares what you wear in London” does so meaning London is a fashion centric, avent garde, eclectic city with a more casual vibe than many northern cities e.g. Liverpool.

they mean

”London? You don’t know what people wear in London?! How suburban, how pedestrian, how parochial”

again it’s mean spirited and intended to belittle and ridicule.

I absolutely do not mean it in that way. I don't care much about fashion and have no idea what the fashion in London is, I'm just thrilled to be able to visit and see/do new things, visiting museums/galleries is not in any way enhanced by my outfit, so I genuinely don't care!