Help Needed! Mistaken for a gran today

[NewRoseExpert]

Hi All,

I’d love a bit of advice. Today I took my DD (9) and her friend (11) out for a play date. We bumped into someone who knew my daughter’s friend, and he asked her if I was her Nan. I could have cried!

I’m 44, peri-menopausal, and a proud mum to DS20, DS17, and DD9. I’ve recently lost quite a bit of weight, and most days I don’t wear makeup. I do have grey hair, but I thought I had it under control… clearly not! I came straight home and dyed it a sweet latte shade from Garnier.

Now I’d really appreciate some tips on makeup and style to help me look fresher and younger. On weekends, I tend to dress very casually — today it was M&S shorts, an oversized T-shirt, and trainers. During the week, I’m much smarter for work (smart jeans/trousers or dresses).

Any recommendations for quick, easy makeup routines (including product suggestions) and styling ideas that are comfortable but flattering?

I’d love to feel more “younger mum” than “gran”!

Thanks so much, lovely MNs xx

Weight loss can be very aging.

I have experienced it and my accountant lost her husband because he said her weight loss made her forehead wrinkle and all sorts of other things he said which were not nice re: her looks after weight loss!

Colour your hair, whiten your teeth (white teeth hide all sorts of imperfections), wear light foundation, shape your brows and wear nice modern clothes.

OR

Don't care a fiddlestick what strangers say!

Either way, don't wear orthopaedic shoes (unless needed) or blue eyeshadow. I don't think anyone can help you if you do that..lol!

Oh OP if you were out and about wearing that ‘outfit’ combined with unstyled greying hair, I’m not surprised you were mistaken for being older than your age. You’re only 44! I have friends your age and older who look incredible and they wouldn’t wear that to take the rubbish out.

Keep on top of the greys, style your hair and don’t dress like a teenage boy. You can be casual while still looking put together. Invest in some good skincare and aim for fresh, glowy make up.

I got asked if I was enjoying my retirement during the week. That’s a decade plus away! Empathising with you.

Make up- I wear it everyday. None of this fancy techniques.
Estes Lauder foundation- stays in place all day. I’m terrible for touching my face.
Rouge on my cheeks
neutral eyeshadow
eyeliner on top lid water line.
Mascara
takes roughly 4 minutes

The clothes may not be smart but I wouldn't describe them as granny wear!

It probably was the grey hair combined with weight loss making you look a bit tired. Not that there's anything wrong with grey hair - no one bats an eye at a 44 yr old man with grey hair! If you are planning to rock the grey look maybe focus on getting your hair into excellent condition. Purple shampoo can stop it looking tired/brassy. And a good cut so it doesn't look thin.

Re your face - a couple of fake tan drops with your moisturiser at night can work wonders and give a healthy glow. Maybe use a tinted spf moisturiser in the day, and some cream blusher for a very minimal makeup look. I quite like Jones Road miracle balm in flushed but I know some people don't like the texture. Getting your eyebrows tinted can make you look at lot more youthful as eyebrows fade with age.

Oh yes to the eyebrows mine were overplucked and I had them micro bladed it changed my whole face.

I’d recommend to fix your eyebrows ( more prominent), a bit of tanning glowing foundation, V neck top, peachy lipgloss, dash of nice perfume and smile.
something like that

Thank you everyone. Desperately researching everything everyone has posted so far! Keep them coming I'm willing to try anything xxx

I got asked about how the menopause was affecting me, during my 30s, by a group of 50 year old ish women once, so I feel your pain.

On the other hand, 44 isn’t too young to be a gran. Obviously, it’s very young to be a gran of a child that age, but he was probably too thick to do the maths

I just read your OP again.

Was it a child who asked her? Because if so, everyone over 40 looks like a gran

Not a child, a youngish man of approx 24ish

Misread and thought you had been mistaken for a grain

if I haven’t had 2L of water I look 10 years older, stay hydrated!

I'd agree with others it'll have been the grey. I found as someone who isn't always the most groomed, it aged me when I had no make up on, was in and casual clothes, and especially if the rain had frizzed it!
It's great some embrace it, but for the foreseeable at least, grey/silver hair IS a visual signifier for maturity.

Get inspired…!

https://www.instagram.com/awomancalledgeorge?igsh=MTNmMzdxbHp6cXdwZw==

Also, I’ve had hair loss due to chemo and it’s so so ageing. Got a hair topper, mine is really comfortable and completely transforms how I look when I wear it, instantly thick hair. Best investment ever. See https://youtube.com/@milanowigs?si=xyrhD6Kubx3Hgy2C for the sort of thing. I don’t think I’ll ever be without one now even if it’s just a small one to pad out my fringe

Can you post a pic of yourself, maybe scribble out your face? Then we can say if it was actually a dumb 24 year old who thinks anyone over 40 is aaaaancient, and therefore clearly a nan.

I don’t understand what you mean. For a 44 year old to be a grandmother to a 9 year old then both generations of mothers would have given birth at around 17 or 18. I think that’s young by most people’s standards. I realise this isn’t the point of the thread.

Pffft, anyone over 40yo will look ancient to him….he’s clueless. Plus unless he knew how old the kids were he may be equally useless at guessing their ages and thought they were a couple of years younger.

Bland clothes and bland haircuts make us look older. I was so upset when a cashier praised my young sons for helping their granny with the shopping. I was late forties at the time. Find some slightly edgier fashions you like and wear them.

Use serum, moisturiser with spf, primer daily and your skin’s texture will improve noticeably within a few weeks. Genetics is a huge factor (my parents looked much younger than their years into their 80s) and, admittedly I’ve used moisturiser since I was a child. I’m not kidding when I say people think I’m 20 years younger than I am because my skincare routine has been consistently good my whole life. It’s not too late to start as you’re in your early 40s

I use Clarins products when I’m going out/out and Aldi’s products everyday and they are also excellent value for money. I also use GOSH velvet touch primer which I buy online as it’s no longer available in Superdrug

A good haircut/restyle with a hairstylist you trust and seek the advice of an inhouse stylist in a department store. Good quality accessories can make a cheap outfit look expensive plus a fresh cologne and you’ll have a spring in your step

Good luck

You mentioned wearing shorts today. Several weeks ago, someone posted that they realised that wearing shorts made them look like a scoutmaster. That stuck in my mind, and I’ve noticed a lot of scoutmasters out there. Maybe shorts are not the way forward for you.

Grey hair will age you a decade. Unless you have a rock chick look, I’ve never seen anyone pull it off.

This is true

I call it chicken legs, and it happens whether your curvy or slim, you can stay big on top and still get em and they're a major age giveaway. They make you top heavy regardless of your shape type or size

Young legs are more in proportion with your top and still sort of plump/rounder even if very slim

@OldWomanInACardigan love that you take care of yourself and take pride in your appearance however sketchers are firmly in the comfort camp only, they are not cool or stylish from any angle (sorry). My mum is your age and I cringe when I see her wearing them.
Crocs and Sketchers - I will never be caught in no matter what my age.

Although I firmly believe fashion is what an individual looks and feels amazing in regardless of trends so more power to you! 😊