How not to look old at the wedding

[Abotitbotinot]

My younger DB is getting married to someone 20 years younger. Yes, let’s not go there. They are both adults and are happy.

I know it’s not about me but I’m in my early 50s and the bride’s friends will all be in their twenties. How do I look more like the bride’s husband’s sister without looking like a) mutton dresses as lamb b) the bride’s husband’s aged aunt?

I take care of myself but I don’t dress from fashion outlets which probably does lump me in the middle aged mum category. I don’t have grey hair but my hairstyle might need updating but I cannot get to grips with curling my hair, I’m useless with tongs/irons/whatever.

It’s a December wedding so I need both a good coat, something for the reception and something for the evening as well.

Posting this now while there’s still time for an intervention.

Makes sense. We were picturing different things. A lovely coat makes a lot of sense in this scenario.

OP what kind of venue is it?

I was a 51 year old bridesmaid this year - I’m sure you can imagine my fear.

I decided to wear what suited me, so I wore a bright green Nancy Mac jumpsuit. I felt great on the day, and avoided the dreaded Whatever Happened to Baby Jane vibe.

What do you love wearing, OP?

£500 should be more than enough for a coat and dress in most normal (ie non MN) people’s budgets.

I think this would be lovely for a winter wedding www.hobbs.com/product/ashley-velvet-dress/0224-5599-9845L00-WARM-PLUM.html

These are beautiful
the CFCL and Kindred….absolutely bonkers

I’m not in my 50s but I’m 40 and it wouldn’t occur to me to give a crap what 20 somethings wear or
compare myself to them.

Oh I don’t know. Turning up to your brother’s wedding looking like a ghost from a Victorian workhouse might be quite fun.

I was having a good laugh at that ‘coat’ earlier. It would be great to wear to visit a circus - could pretend to be the marquee and get free entry.

I’m 55 daughter 24 about 20o other beautiful girls in their 20s there
i wore this from Reiss ( found for 60 on eBay and sent back the same version I bought on John Lewis for £190)
I felt good fitted in and got lots of compliments. Decided to wear hair up as otherwise thought it would make me look older again compared to the girls

Crying at these comments. Good awful clothes and the price!!!

You look lovely! Lovely figure and hair. The dress really suits you.

Pretend? You could fit the whole troupe under there and charge a fee!

I’m your age and going to a wedding tomorrow I’m wearing a lovely non frumpy frock with Spanx of course. I’m getting my hairdresser to do me an up do in the morning I’ve had nails polished and eyebrows and lashes done. I’ve also been very good with skincare for several months and wore one of those deep collagen masks for most of the day. In other words I’ve done my best! And that’s enough

Ooh Chester racecourse, I live in Chester. You look stunning 😍

Or perhaps a deranged Pierrot wearing a £400 straight jacket

Careful - last time someone said they didn't like those Kindred of Ireland dresses, they were accused of making light of the famine.

Have a look at the WYSE sale dresses - some velvets and silks in there.

The word " coatigan" just no! 😂

That is because you’re 40 and you probably look 32.

I'm 66 and I wouldn't care either. I don't know what age I look and I don't much care about that either. In reality I get so many compliments about my clothes from women much younger than me.

OP if not looking your age is a concern most Phase 8 dresses will add at least 10 years to everyone.

See my dilemma?

The Whistles dress posted earlier is lovely but would make me look like the late great Queen Mother which is a look I would like to completely avoid.

Where is your non frumpy frock from?

This is the dress I have lived in for the past 3 summers. It is stretchy T shirt material and I get many compliments when I wear it - but for the dress itself, rather than whether it makes me look any good or not.

I am currently wearing a dress similar to this, my dress is narrower and goes straight up and down IFSWIM rather billowing out from the waist.

https://www.toa.st/products/garment-dyed-linen-easy-dress-midnight?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=18437612048&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18437706656&gbraid=0AAAAADntuohhjAFLdip07_wLaT8qYEJGz&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI84valdvXjgMVs5RQBh036DR7EAQYASABEgI97fD_BwE

I don’t really like Toast but this is the closest thing I could find on the internet to match what I’m wearing.

Right - so your target brands are places like

Lemaire
Maxmara
Rohe
Studio Nicholson
Toteme

who all do beautiful, plain, non-waisted, contemporary dresses that can be dressed up and down and worn every day? (These are amongst the first places I look, all the time.) Again, just keep an eye on their new winter collections and choose something you’ll enjoy wearing.

(If you’d prefer a trouser suit, one or two of the places in my early post might have something within budget.)

Thank you! Some good new brands to try out.

Thanks all - some of the suggestions have been bonkers (to me) but I guess I need to come out of my comfort zone.