How not to look old at the wedding

[Abotitbotinot]

My younger DB is getting married to someone 20 years younger. Yes, let’s not go there. They are both adults and are happy.

I know it’s not about me but I’m in my early 50s and the bride’s friends will all be in their twenties. How do I look more like the bride’s husband’s sister without looking like a) mutton dresses as lamb b) the bride’s husband’s aged aunt?

I take care of myself but I don’t dress from fashion outlets which probably does lump me in the middle aged mum category. I don’t have grey hair but my hairstyle might need updating but I cannot get to grips with curling my hair, I’m useless with tongs/irons/whatever.

It’s a December wedding so I need both a good coat, something for the reception and something for the evening as well.

Posting this now while there’s still time for an intervention.

Those Kindred dresses are “a look” that I would say the vast, vast majority would not embrace. Or suit.

Well I would and do. Who knows what the OP might like. She might hate them; she might think "wow". Personally I'd cry and refuse to leave the house if I were made to wear that Phase 8 dress posted upthread.

The 2 women in these videos are older than the OP. I bet none of the 20 year olds will look as amazing as them.

https://kindredofireland.com/pages/kindred-spirit-caren

https://kindredofireland.com/pages/kindred-spirits-anne

Yes, that dress absolutely would suit me! Thank you.

OK. Ummmmm…….

Can you stay the night before rather than travelling on day ? May make it less rushed and give you time to do make up /hair

Small thing but have gel nails done just before wedding - even a neutral colour just makes you look more together

What colours do you love / feel good in

Are you a plain or a pattern lover

Could you direct some of your £500 budget on new make up and practice it before the wedding?

Maybe - I know my make up is dated and firmly 90s.

i suit structured and tailored clothes but I am not comfortable in them.

I might try a personal shopper. Has anyone used one and in which shop?

I would suggest going to a large shop with lots of different style dresses and trying on as many as you can. This might give you an idea of what will suit you. Velvet is a good call for a winter wedding and definitely book a hair stylist.

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Go to:

• your regular hairdresser and discuss a restyle.
• a department store to (a) a make up counter of your choosing to try out new make up/styles, and (b) make an appointment with a stylist. Take shoes that you’re comfortable in and are likely to wear to the wedding.

Accessories don’t have to match and since it’s a winter wedding you could wear heeled boots with a dress and smart overcoat, or a trousers suit with ankle boots, with a colourful shawl. If I were going to a winter wedding, I’d wear a red trousers suit (red is one of the A/W season colours) with chocolate brown boots (dark brown is also on the shelves) and gold jewellery … and wear a hat!

You’ll look fabulous - just feel confident in whatever outfit you choose and don’t forget to try it on a few times beforehand so that you’ll forget what you’re wearing on the day

Well your going to look your age aren’t you same as the groom? Perhaps her family friends are thinking the same “how do we look more mature”’why care it’s not your wedding, I bet your bro isn’t trying to look younger.

With structured and tailored in mind, how about any of these?:

Emerald Coast jumpsuit with dramatic sleeves

Mint Velvet burgundy longline tux waistcoat and matching trousers

Floral velvet minidress, La Double J (I know it's expensive but it might spark inspiration!)

Delightfully dramatic black and gold Jonathan Simkhai maxi dress (not many sizes bit again, inspiration innit)

Whistles pale blue and gold devoré sleeveless midi dress

Gold Kemi Telford smock dress (not tailored or structured, bit of a wildcard 😂)

What style and colours do you suit normally?

Some of these are so beautiful.

I didn't say it was huge but it's definitely sufficient.

I’m not sure why there should be such focus on the coat. Surely for a wedding a coat will be worn for what c 5 minutes when walking from the car to the venue?

I am loving that black and gold dress! The maxi length will elongate me.

It depends how cold the church is!

Apparently I’m supposed to wear pastels and coral (had my colours done to help out a friend who was starting up as a consultant) but I generally stick to white/black/grey/taupe/navy niceNdull.

No pastels or Miss Piggy curls, both are aging.
Not sure about jumpsuits, they don’t suit everyone.

I would keep it simple. Understated jewellery.
Go with the colours you like, navy is a good choice.

Winter wedding - in my experience coat will be on for loads of photos!

In fairness I was thinking church or similar and then venue. At the winter weddings Ive been to everyone had their coats on in church. If it's all in one venue then not the same need.

These are fabulous

Just realised the Whistles link didn't appear: https://www.whistles.com/product/216204.html

What I like about the above one is that it's not trad winter velvet colours - and that pale blue and gold are striking together.