Is this dress too white for a wedding guest?

[PrincessPeachy]

As the title says really. I was hoping to wear it for a nieces weddings next weekend. DH thinks it’s fine, I’m having doubts! I would wear it with black accessories.
https://www.next.co.uk/style/su702748/h16243

I've just looked back on some wedding pictures. Two of my sister-in-law's wore white trousers suits at mine.

Just got a bit worried that I might have upset some brides as at two weddings (we're going back 15/20 years) I've worn a cream and black dress, but I see that lots of others were wearing similar.

Absolutely this!!

You can’t imagine it hey, well my sister’s wedding certainly wasn’t dull or boring, but we still talk about today, what a friend of hers wore to the wedding 10+ years ago. In fact we even discussed it yesterday when the subject came up. I would post a pic but too outing! A quick google image search, it was something like this, but slightly shorter, with pale pink accessories. https://angelaweddings.net/products/vintage-1950s-lace-short-wedding-dress-short-sleeve-ball-gown-v-neck-bridal-gown-tea-length?variant=16574997200939

Said guest even went back to her hotel mid afternoon and came back to the evening do dressed in what was clearly a bridesmaid’s dress, complete with tiara. Sounds unbelievable when you think back, but it really did happen! Our DM was fuming on the day! Everyone else, including the bride thought it was hilarious/odd 😂

Wearing a bridal gown to somebody else’s wedding is very odd and would understandably raise eyebrows / be a talking point. I would argue that the OP’s dress is distinctly non bridal with the large black polkadot print plus the material / overall design of the dress. I really don’t think anyone would comment negatively on such a dress, but it seems the OP has chosen another dress now anyway.

So unwritten-a-rule that I have never heard of it.
I obviously don't hang out in the right places.

That said, I wouldn't turn up to a wedding in a dress that looked like a wedding dress. That would just be weird.

Absolutely. Who is going to outshine a bride wearing a marks n sparks cotton frock, or whatever. I couldn't have careless at my wedding either.

I think its a lovely dress on the model and on you OP.

I think all the rules around what to wear to weddings is tedious. If I ever get married everyone can wear whatever they feel happy in.
But anyway, I love green and I'm sure you will look lovely whatever you decide.

This ⬆️. My own mother wore a white dress with black accessories to my wedding. The material was the same as my wedding dress. She didn't ask if it was okay with me - just announced that's what she was doing so I just went along with it in the end as she's really difficult at the best of times. In the photos it did look odd as I had a slim dress and I didn't really stand out. She was always putting me down and as life went on our relationship broke down.

I absolutely would not do that to another bride.

You look lovely in the dress but perhaps save it for another occasion.

I see you're wearing green - I'm sure you'll look lovely. Have a lovely day.

Well you've heard of it now so that's good.

If you were going to eg a Punjabi friend's traditional wedding and someone kindly told you it's not good form to wear red as the bride will be in red, would you go "oh well I've never heard of that!? I hardly think the anyone's going to get me confused withthe bridezilla ha ha I'll wear what I like, I'm invited not summoned" or whatever other rubbish this thread has thrown up? Or would you accept that it's tradition so to be on the safe side, choose to wear literally any other colour?

That "Karolina" website is being flagged by my antivirus as a scam - avoid. The balance of the dress in the pic is too white though - if there were double the number of spots it'd be fine.

The yellow version is nice!

I must have missed the bit where the OP said the bride requested that white should not be worn.
If someone has asked a colour not to be worn, that is different.
I am not sure that it is a no-go for guests at an Indian wedding to wear red, in my experience.

Oh come on, the bride does not need to specifically request that guests shouldn't wear white, because it's assumed everyone knows that.

Honestly, I think some people just love to be contrarian.

Karolina Ozolinsiute is not a scam. The brand is often mentioned on here.

As well as its own site it is also stocked by Gather and See
https://gatherandsee.com/collections/karolina-ozolinsiute

And Wolf and Badger
Wolf and Badger

Her dresses are also available hire on
Rotation
Rotation

I am not sure it has always been the case. I went to loads of weddings at a certain point in my life (probably about 30 years ago), but haven't been to one for ages. I think things may have changed.
I am not sure it is fair to think people are being difficult because they don't know things.

Yes noone said that the bride requested anything in either OPs situation or in my hypothetical example. The point is that people will, kindly, often let you know that it's not the done thing and it's weird not to be grateful for that info.

If you've been wearing white to English weddings and red to Indian ones then... 😬

I think some weddings have got a bit more hard core than when I was going to them. The ones I have been to recently have been more of a haybale/double decker bus/barn dance vibe. The mother of the bride wore jeans at one, as I remember.
At the Indian ones, it depended on the amount and shade of red. I am not one to opt for full-on red anyway. Red with polka dots would have been fine.

Tbf if you haven't been to a wedding in the past decade or so perhaps it's less helpful for you to give advice on what to wear to a wedding

A little unhelpful for guests of the parents generation though who won’t have the faintest idea that allegedly the rules have completely changed in the last 10 years and they are supposed to just guess the new rules.

Or maybe the rules are not as universal as you claim?

What?

I'm saying that if PPs haven't been to a lot of weddings recently maybe they shouldn't post on a thread, like this one, which is for advice about what to wear to weddings. It's not massively helpful for someone to get out of date info, just like if someone said "what should I wear to an interview" and someone started talking about what they wore in the 90s.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't ASK for advice!

I love it on you, fabulous! I think it's fine for a wedding x

The polka dots look too much like giant full stops. It looks like you're dress it literally making a statement.

And you're showing too much shoulder.

Your hair is also too blonde.

You appear to be saying that the rules of appropriate wedding attire have changed so fundamentally in the past decade that people who haven’t been to a lot of weddings in that period cannot give advice on what is appropriate for an guest to wear? So, people should ask for advice, but only people who have been to weddings recently are able to provide advice.

I am saying that if that is indeed the case, these “unwritten rules” you speak of are clearly not cultural norms. They sound more like current trends. Not dressing in line with the current trend is not the same thing as dressing inappropriately…

Perhaps everyone of my age think it is ok to go to a wedding wearing white-esque dresses; is my opinion not of value because I am over 35? How are people my age meant to know the rules have changed? It has been suggested I was being difficult because I knew the new rules and was deliberately ignoring them, and now it is being suggested I shouldn't offer my opinion because I am out of date.

Do we know the age of the bride in this circumstance? Perhaps she is of an age where she does not know the new rules either.
Gosh, weddings have become a minefield.

And as I said, the weddings I have been to in the last decade have been more like festivals than Oxford balls. And frankly, far more enjoyable for that.