Found a dress for MOB, not sure of colour.

[Doteycat]

So, I have found a dress, a FABULOUS dress for my MOB outfit.
Only its Black, black with pearls, its gorgeous.
DD LOVES it and says yes go for it, totally the vibe of the wedding, so glam, so my style/type of dress i like to wear only fancied up a bit.
I said, but black, is that ok? DD say yes its her wedding, she says yes so thats that in her mind.
But im a bit, i dunno, is black strange?

or is that a load of shite.

When my son got married both I and MoB wore black. Go for it

Not an issue if people don’t agree - everyone is entitled to their opinion!! OP asked specifically about the colour of the dress in the title - so presumably wanted people to comment on that, which I and others have done both favourably or otherwise. One can also presume that the question of the colour has arisen as she knows it’s not quite right.

But not my circus, not my monkeys. I’m pleased my DM wasn’t in black when she was MOB.

Agreed some of them are shocking. I can imagine it’s hard to find something that suits one’s personality and the brief of the day.

Whatever the dress, hope all goes well for the big day :)

Bloomin gorgeous dress. If DD is happy, the go for it!

No, its not that i know its not quite right, I wasnt sure of black to a wedding as MOB, but then im not sure of a million other dresses. Its v v hard to find non frumpy ones,
Its that I wanted some opinions on it. I did also ask "is that a load of shite" which i do think no it is, based on the majority.
I could ask ye to have a look at 100 other dresses ive seen, doesnt mean i dont think they are quite right. Its cos I want an opinion. I take yours on board, I just dont agree and Im sure of my choice now. At least to order it.
I also know it could be shite when i get it but thats not cos of the colour.

Well, as with most things I’d go with your gut instinct on it ie you’re not sure of black to a wedding as MOB (you’re right on this IMO).
But no harm in trying and seeing how you feel in it.

FWIW I think it’s a beautiful dress, which I did say upstream, just not quite right for the occasion of MOB.

Typically both MOB/MOG will consult on choice of dress to ensure they’re complimentary of each other and also not the same colour/ style and to ensure it’s complementary to the colour scheme of the wedding too.

I agree it’s hard to find non frumpy dresses
for MOB…..perhaps perversely they are deliberately like this so as not to upstage?!?!

If all guests are going to be in black tie attire then probably it’s perfect; if that isn’t the formal dress code then I’d look for an alternative.

Hope all goes well..

Such a needlessly bitchy comment. I’m not sure any reasonable person would read nasty messaging behind the MOB’s outfit colour.

I really don’t like it at all, sorry. It has wicked stepmother vibes to me. I don’t think a different colour would improve it either, though I have no objection to black at weddings. Sorry, but it’s a big no from me. It looks like you’ve made your mind up and don’t give a fuck though, and I applaud that.

If the bride approves and black flatters you, I don’t see a problem there and of course the MotB wants to look fabulous. This dress, to me though, is too attention grabbing, or potentially scene stealing. I think it’s the fabric and sparkle.

The bride will obviously be the star of the show, but personally I wouldn’t want to look like I’d set myself up in a bit of competition to any bride, let alone my own daughter.

I think the main problem with the dress is that it looks like a teenage prom dress, not a MOB dress.

This dress is superb. Wear it and enjoy. Do you know what the mother of the groom is wearing?

Shes not. She wont be there.

The only opinion that matters is your daughter's - as she is the bride to be.

I will remind you of your opening post:

' DD LOVES it and says yes go for it '

says it all - doesn't it.

Thanks for all your thoughts, it has given me plenty to think about!
I think there is no harm in ordering it, sure I can see then. It wouldnt be the first time ive ordered a dress online and not liked it, so no loss if i dont like it.
This has however made me contemplate a few things.
For example., this concept of outdoing the bride and that people may think im doing that, or that any MOB would do it.
I am glad to say that utterly baffles me. That concept is beyond me, and DD laughed when I said it. Im so glad we dont think like that, and tbh anyone who does, well that holds no value to me whatsoever, so even if someone thought that, I truly dont care. I know they are wrong and so would DD.
The notion also that It would be a sign i dont approve, well same really, irrelavant to me and DD. Anyone who will be at this wedding knows that we approve, we love her future husband, and knows we are a family that love openly, live in kindness and dont judge anyone. So again, anyone that might think that bitchy way? off with ya, holds no value.
Do I think its a lovely dress? Yep.
Will it suit me? I think so, I know i can carry it off.
Does dd think its lovely? Yes.
Is there a chance Ill order and think nope not for the wedding? Yes, but as I said, that only means it goes the way of 900 other dresses ive looked at.
I appreciate the input, all of it, as I said, its good to contemplate these things, its an important day for DD.
I do hope i find something that matches those JC shoes though, they are divine.

I love these threads - because as they smoke out the totally unreasonably bitter and judgy in our society and at the same time remind us to reflect on the contrasting values we have nurtured in our own families and uphold when we select out friends.

Its always handy to know what the most miserable, catsbum-faced are sneering at, so you can flaunt it even more to piss them off. If we paid any attention to these types we would still all be wearing some sort of Victorian attire.

Go girl - have an absolute blast with your gorgeous daughter, family and friends at what sounds like an inspirational, creative, joyous and loving event.

@Havvingaalaugh

how so?

As the mother of the bride, you should be in a pastel suit (skirt no shorter than knee length) and sensible low heel court shoes from Debenhams or M&S or maybe Peacocks, OP @Doteycat

@TheSilentSister

yes, you’re right, you are old fashioned hun

Looks fab! Do you know what the other ‘mother of’ will be wearing? I would be worried about making her feel fuddy duddy if she’s in something more trad. But that’s me. I think it’s gorgeous but would consider a short ivory bolero jacket (a very short one as your dress has a dropped waist). That would make it more formal mob attire for photos, make the other mother feel less dated, keep you warm if the weather is awful and you can still take it off a shimmy about in just the dress when it’s party time. This phase 8 one has a lovely simple collar and really interesting shoulder detail.

She wont be there.

@Doteycatdid you get a chance to try it on in store?

No they didnt have it but they had other dresses from their line and they seemed good quality, its a good dept store, i couldnt see them handling rubbish stuff.

My daughter is planning on getting married soon and I am thinking of a ballgown teal silk skirt with a boat neck, short sleeved gold sequin top. I will have to rethink it all if she wears the same silhouette. I won't be wearing a knee length suit and a bloody hat! I see very few MOBs dressed like that these days, it is very old fashioned. My MIL wore black to my wedding and made it very clear that it was a protest dress as she was utterly vile at the wedding, so she could have been wearing any colour at all, tbh. I think you are going to look amazing, OP. One of the best weddings I ever went to, the bride wore a knee length purple tutu and purple DMs. We had a blast, those two knew how to party!

Your outfit sounds gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!

@CeCe19

oh no!! Boleros are so old fashioned!! A wedding is one of those times when the look comes before comfort, most dresses don’t look right with jackets. Op will be fine and I’m sure a couple of glasses of fizz will help warm up!