Dress for 16 year old attending a family church wedding

[lavenderjune]

We have a family wedding to attend in July. I’m trying to find a dress for my 16 year old daughter. Everything I have suggested has been met with a big thumbs down. She has just shown me this dress. I really don’t think it’s right but thought I would see what others could come up with please.

That’s actually a really good idea. The new look link you posted is great. And she could choose a cute trouser / waistcoat combi she’d wear again. For my dd that wouldn’t be yellow. Then she can get changed into something more extravagant, even the yellow dress she wants for the evening do without ‘upstaging’ anyone.

My 16 yo dd wouldn’t be seen dead in most of the dresses. She’d probably go for a new look slip midi dress (someone posted it here) or the club London maxi a few posts up on the condition she’s allowed to change. But actually what’s the point? I posted the dress my dd wore upthread. It was a waste of money when my dd will probably never wear it again. She hadn’t developed her sense of style when we bought the dress (she was 15 then, nearly 17 now). If I were doing it now, I’d suggest the suit and getting changed.

i have to say comments about dresses making a 16 year old look ‘classy and elegant’ are probably not what OPs daughter is going for at all. My DD whose older now and dressed very differently (she was a goth) but would probably be hated by the MNetters on here, wore many a thing to a family gathering which looked great (black to
many a wedding) and more importantly she loved and felt happy in, but classy or elegant we’re definitely not on her bingo card.

Same website ( Oh Polly) Still Yellow,what above the dress called TOVE?

Jacket over it for the ceremony

Its got the Risque look-at-me-grown-up look, and once you are at the reception itreally doesnt matter

Do they really ? I've been going to Catholic and C of E churches all my life. I've seen the traveller community girls dressed in practically bikinis.
Honestly, no one cares.
Unless it's the Brompton Oratory (maybe), an abbey? or possibly a Cathedral.

I honestly think that the posters stating these rules have probably never been in a church for decades.

Honestly OP if I were your daughter the last thing you could do to convince me to not wear the dress I'd picked out was show me something than a poster on the MN S&B had picked out for me. If you're into strapless yellow Oh Polly dresses with a thigh high split, then there's no way the usual MN suggestions of nice inoffensive Nobody's Child dress, Mango waistcoat and trouser combo, or Alemais tourist tea towel monstrosity is going to appeal. Put your foot down on that dress if you like and can, but let her pick her own alternative.

Slightly worrying that your granddaughter appears to need her fiancé’s “approval” 🚩

Justsomethoughts23
No need to worry - there is no way that my granddaughter would remotely consider this dress appropriate for any occasion. My granddaughter has more respect for her body and is a well balanced professional definitely with a mind of her own. She is too well balanced to need anyone’s approval for what she wears.

Deleted

I hope you don’t regard yourself as Christian with that remark as it’s got to be one of
the least charitable things I have read here. I don’t like it but how dare you judge someone’s character based on their clothes. Your granddaughter can wear what the hell she likes. I really hope you never get selected for a rape trial. This attitude below in the dark ages.

Such horrible judgements about young women on here and how they choose to dress. I don’t love the dress either but I’m not a 16 year old girl and they’re probably not loving the way we dress either.

When it comes to wearing revealing clothes at a wedding, I veer more towards the 'oh, put it away' side of the argument. It's the bride's prerogative to make that kind of statement if she wants to.

Thinking about it though, I would make an exception for girls OP's DD's age, for two reasons:

1.Most teen girls will want to experiment with drawing attention in this way, and a wedding is a safe place to let them do so.

2.Also, there's something cute, expected and wedding-y about it. Just as you'd expect a toddler to shout something inappropriate at the wrong moment, the photos should include some, er, expressively-attired teenagers!

So on balance I'd say let her get on with it, and discover for herself how much she enjoys the feeling of dressing that way.

I reported the 'cheap trash' comment, but MN Towers seem to think it's okay. Disgusting.

I think “cottage core” styles are lovely for a 16yo wedding guest.
But the time window is short.
Over 18 and they’re all in long sheath dresses with spaghetti straps and high court shoes.

Oh no...there go £65 out of my bank account. I need this dress😬

How about this - similar vibe to the original dress but a bit less ‘leggy’

clubllondon.com/products/ambretta-lemon-one-shoulder-midi-dress-with-bow-cl135198337

Totally agree. Appalling comment.

I’ll spell out the implications of your comments:

Any female clothing showing a moderate amount of skin is unacceptable.
Women’s shoulders, legs and arms should not be visible.
Women who ‘display’ this skin and these body parts are lesser.
Women who dress ‘like this’ lack self-respect - presumably they are therefore less deserving of others’ respect.
Women who wear clothing like this (a perfectly normal dress) are less likely to be from ‘professional’ occupations and should also be subject to class-based judgements.
Women who wear clothing like this are less balanced than those who do not, possibly even unbalanced.

We must police women’s clothing choices and bodies.

In summary, the female body is a dangerous thing. I’d understood us to be living in the twenty-first century, not the sixteenth century, but perhaps I’m wrong (shout out to John Knox, at this point?).

DD1 wore this the other day, perhaps your DD would like something like this, OP @lavenderjune ? I think it's from Motel last year but might be on Depop or similar. There are some others here is she likes that colour.

www.motelrocks.com/collections/day-dresses?filter.v.price.gte=&filter.v.price.lte=&filter.p.m.custom.color=YELLOW

Wow

AX Paris has some lovely dresses at the moment, I'm 39 and just ordered this one for a wedding x

axpoutlet.com/products/womens-ax-paris-green-watercolour-print-mesh-one-shoulder-asymmetric-hem-midi-dress

Far too sexy. Not appropriate at all for any wedding, let alone a church one (and that goes for any age wearing it). It’s borderline for a prom dress too.

lavenderjune Personally, I think it is a stunning dress. But I would also say lemon is too close to cream and that dress would defintiely look like she is attempting to outshine the bride! Although, I do not think that is the intention!

Rtato that Draped Sleeveless Midi Dress in pale blue is gorgeous.

On second thoughts suggest your daughter wears the dress. It’s never too early to learn to understand the occasion, but then wear what you want.

But I’d worry about her kidneys so I’d pack the vest in my massive handbag, with a denim or leather jacket. Don’t whatever you do make her wear a cardigan.

Your Granddaughter has a fiancé problem …..

And a grandmother problem................................