Dress for 16 year old attending a family church wedding

[lavenderjune]

We have a family wedding to attend in July. I’m trying to find a dress for my 16 year old daughter. Everything I have suggested has been met with a big thumbs down. She has just shown me this dress. I really don’t think it’s right but thought I would see what others could come up with please.

What about this? Yes, there’s a significant amount of skin on show, but maybe it’s more subtle? I think a 16 year old can be forgiven for pushing it to a certain extent, and maybe this is a compromise.

https://www.ohelloclothing.com/en-gb/products/sadie-ruffle-sleeve-maxi-dress-yellow

No that's a club dress and not a dress to wear for a church wedding. She needs to understand that she needs to consider the venue when choosing outfits. Not all outfits are suitable for all venues especially religious ones.

https://shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/dresses-and-jumpsuits/jumpsuits/linen-halter-jumpsuit_17081137?c=40

https://shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/dresses-and-jumpsuits/dresses/strapless-midi-dress_17001275

Both worn with a jacket over for the church ceremony.
OR
https://shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/dresses-and-jumpsuits/dresses/draped-straight-dress_87007190?c=54

https://shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/dresses-and-jumpsuits/dresses/english-embroidered-strapless-dress_87009076

You’re not very nice, are you? You can criticise a dress without character assassination. And it’s really none of your business what your granddaughter wears.

red flag for your DGD fiancé 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

can’t believe you state this as if it’s a good thing @Nicaveron 👀

Oh God

So what if her fiancé did disapprove, it would be all the more reason to wear the dress.

Not appropriate for a ‘decent you go lady’ !!!! No young man would want to be seen with his intended ……. !!!

Where on earth do you live or what era do you think you’re living in ?

I like the dress. I’ve seen lots similar at school proms in recent years (sometimes worn with Converse!). It is perhaps a little high cut for some people’s taste for a wedding on the model (though my sixteen year old self would not have thought so), but I think this comes down to how tall your daughter is. The website says that the model is 5’10”. If your daughter is, say, 5’6”, that would bring the thigh cut four inches lower and be more than fine - of course, the whole dress may then be too long for her. I reluctantly concede that there are conventions around wedding dressing, though I personally wouldn’t raise an eyebrow at this dress. However, there are ways to accessorise to make this more conservative and even, from a fashion perspective, a little more interesting, which may be a palatable compromise. As others have said, a jacket - an interesting, eighties-style boxy one in black, maybe picked up on Vinted? And what about a black hat - something with a bit of angle or a wide-ish brim? Very conventional at church weddings and would bring interest and sophistication to the outfit. Add a black clutch and black heels and I think you’re onto a winner.

I’ve seen this on and it looked lovely. Similar feel to the lemon but less revealing and more age appropriate?

www.zara.com/uk/en/zw-collection-ruffled-dress-p08779040.html?v1=433535892

My daughter bought the same dress in black at Christmas for a Christmas party & returned it, the split is wide & VERY exposing.

Can’t believe all the dinosaurs on this thread!

I’m a churchgoer, and I wouldn’t think twice about bare shoulders at church. No one cares in the Church of England. We’re there for Jesus, not to judge others’ clothing choices.

My 18-year-old just bought this for a wedding party. Any good?

https://www.pullandbear.com/gb/strappy-floral-midi-dress-l03397434?cS=400&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=PB_PER_Marca_GADS_GB_SHOPPING_MIX_MIX_UNISEX&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18725257174&gbraid=0AAAAADh2_-Ep6MqZNDy-8HMF6NUdxcYsx&gclid=CjwKCAjwruXBBhArEiwACBRtHTWyjGO7UksvfnKixFh3KBPu7ARd23T8u00UsiMqEZH7GQlWJeYSTxoCTfUQAvD_BwE

It's not her prom, it's as a wedding guest, so something a bit more classy and age appropriate. I've seen some young girls wearing revealing outfits and they just looked ridiculous and it was certainly uncomfortable for most guests. You don't want others bitching about your daughter and her outfit, which Unfortunately happens. Xxx

This is stunning. She could grab a summer ‘scarf’ style
cover up for the shoulders which will actually look very elegant on.

I feel like the first one you linked is the only realistic suggestion on the thread. If the OP's daughter liked a tight, revealing yellow number she's going to scoff at middle-aged office wear or a long green beach dress.

I liked the advice on another thread in a similar situation: let her choose low cut or short but not both.
Unlike many of you here I am a church goer. They won’t care two hoots about the outfit and teen girls turn up in revealing bodicons all the time.
It's relatives who will have opinions.

Many churches have a "no bare shoulders" rule, and even if it's not explicitly stated it's considered disrespectful to have bare shoulders in a church.

Gosh a lot of dinos on here.
Get her a little shawl to wrap around shoulders if worried SHE will feel uncomfortable in the church.
It shouldn’t be about what other people will think of what she’s wearing. That’s their (misogynistic) problem. Not hers.
She’s 16 and part of being 16 is exploring how you want to dress and express yourself. Guiding and making suggestions is nice but don’t over step.

I don't understand this "shoulders must be covered" consensus when strapless wedding dresses have themselves been a trend for about 20 years now! I think people are applying "rules" from the 1980s for today.

I suspect the majority of weddings no longer take place in churches. The OP'S wedding is in a church though, where it could reasonably be expected that bare shoulders would be considered disrespectful, even if it's not said.

Sorry but no 16 year old I know or have ever known would wear this!?

This really isn’t that bad! She’s 16 not 12. I think it’s fine. All this no shoulders in church as though brides / bridesmaids don’t have sleeveless dresses! Ridiculous.

https://clubllondon.com/products/capria-pale-lemon-bandeau-wrap-maxi-dress-cl135981337?_gl=150oorz_upMQ.._gs*MQ..&gclid=CjwKCAjwruXBBhArEiwACBRtHb0DBYXa5OPaj98KKT4LW7dta2gG9-GHFRtecI9WvivpLfLi4-wyDBoC1CUQAvD_BwE&gbraid=0AAAAADCHewLwqcjRl7Iq8LTjrUlVmVxUK This is similar but no split x

And this is lovely www.ohelloclothing.com/en-gb/products/sydney-bodycon-maxi-dress-light-yellow?option1=XS+%286%29&variant=50428754002261

That's true, but even so I think no/small straps is the norm. My sister in law is Portuguese Catholic and got married in a historical Catholic church in her small town in Portugal in a strapless dress, and her mother in the front row was also wearing a strapless dress!