Dress for 16 year old attending a family church wedding

[lavenderjune]

We have a family wedding to attend in July. I’m trying to find a dress for my 16 year old daughter. Everything I have suggested has been met with a big thumbs down. She has just shown me this dress. I really don’t think it’s right but thought I would see what others could come up with please.

I’m not even Christian and I know that generally you keep your shoulders covered in a church! Though some churches can be more relaxed.

Im not sure it’s a good thing that your granddaughter is engaged to someone who would “disapprove” on what she might wear. My stepdaughter is 16 and would have a lot to say if her boyfriend started demanding she wore longer skirts and dresses. Of course there is an appropriate way to dress in a church, but I’d hate to think we were normalising men telling women what they should wear.. nothing to do with them!

My dd is 16 (yr 11). We went to a wedding last month. Not a church but an hotel. Dd wore a pretty dress from Jolie Moi from Debenhams. She chose it. She is more “pretty” vibe than anything else but it’s definitely more wedding appropriate. She looked lovely and got lots of compliments.

https://www.debenhams.com/product/jolie-moi-ruffle-shirred-woven-midi-dress_p-89585f68-9b56-4d26-a80e-5541feacc837

Tell her she can wear that dress as long as she wears a vest.

Zara would be a good place for you to look for a dress.

Just a little curve ball.
My DD got herself a jump suit from Mango for a similar occasion... but she didn't like dresses. Could be a good compromise, depending on the style/ cut.
Hers had a similar cut to this: but different colour and subtle stripe pattern.

shop.mango.com/gb/en/p/women/dresses-and-jumpsuits/jumpsuits/long-denim-effect-jumpsuit_87088641

.

DD had something similar in sage green for a friends wedding a few weeks ago.

I agree with this, I was buying my own clothes at 16, she's not a child.

I don't think the dress shown is suitable, but why do shoulders have to be covered? As long as the dress is not showing too much flesh via a split or ultra low neckline, and not micro mini short, a bit of shoulder is not going to inflame anyone, surely.

I have to weigh in on the side of that dress not being appropriate for a wedding. I also think the one @SunComeBack posted is lovely, & much more elegant and could be worn afterwards for parties / holidays etc. and if worried about sleeveless just have a little wrap.

If you are buying this @lavenderjune do you think she is trying to get a dress she'll get more wear out of? Which I can sympathise with .

I actually think that dress is fine, maybe provided she doesn't have a figure that will be spilling out of it, and agree it needs some sort of wrap or jacket for the church. I wouldn't wear it to a church wedding, but I don't think the same rules apply to the very young.

If you want to put her off though tell her I'm wondering if I'll be invited to anyhting this Christmas where I could wear it in one of the darker colours ...and I'm 55...

https://lavishalice.com/products/lori-off-shoulder-bow-detail-midi-dress-in-yellow

They have some beautiful dresses on lavish Alice. I don't agree with the shoulders covered rule. I've been to loads of weddings and never had to cover shoulders!

I think the dress she's picked is lovely but split a bit high for the older generations of family.

No, looks desperate. Worse when she gets lashed and the thong appears.

The church won’t mind, the relations will.

Suncomeback
The dress, in my opinion, is provocative. It’s screams, “Look at me” and shows far too much flesh. Most definitely not appropriate for a 16 year old, not appropriate for a church wedding.
In my opinion really not appropriate in any way for any decent young lady! And no decent young man would want to be seen with his intended dressed like that showing her boobs and her thigh practically up to her knickers.

But that is just my opinion.

But you weren’t brought up in 2025, things change!

I hear about shoulders covered in church a lot, but almost all wedding dresses have been strapless for at least two decades. How does that work?

Laughing at all the posts telling a 16 year to be ‘elegant’ and to look in Hobbs…But no, that dress is for clubbing, not for a girl of 16 for any occasion imo. She will look tacky and unless it’s a ‘my fat gypsy wedding’ type of occasion, totally out of place. She needs something that will suit her age which is tricky, but I suggest something at least knee length and floral/frilly/broderie rather than stripper vibes.

Shawls cardis jackets

Urban Outfitters? We got some lovely dresses from there for my teenage dds for a family wedding last year

It often seems that, at that age, you take any event as an excuse to wear (what you consider) the sexiest, sllnkiest outfit you can find - 'appropriate' doesn't come into it! I remember a teen relative attending a family funeral in winter in a teeny miniskirt and low-cut top. (But it was all black, so y'know, what's the problem😄)

Unfortunately though OP, whatever we or you come up with will be met with a big fat No. The only deterrent I can think of would be to say something like, 'Oh Auntie Pauline has a frilly dress like that for her cruises!' Or 'Didn't Debbie McGee do the rhumba in that on Strictly?' etc. DD will prob twig though...

Worse when she gets lashed and the thong appears.

And unless it fits extremely well, she might spend the day continually hitching up the top. She will want to be able to dance without worrying about a wardrobe malfunction.

Is she model height tall? If not, I think the dress is absolutely fine for a 16 year old as the split would be lower on her leg anyway. BUT only if she doesn't spend the whole time pulling up the top and pulling down the split.

I think times are just different. Parents felt the same way when mini skirts appeared in the 60s.

Sadly I went to the funeral of a very young man recently. All the young women (lots of them) were wearing what I'd describe as clubbing gear, (very) LBDs, but they obviously all felt it was right. DS's GF wore a more modest, but still very short black dress to DH's funeral.

Jesus Christ.

The dress is a problem but it's to be expected that a 16yo will get lashed at a family wedding? 😂