My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

So, I'd say I'm about halfway. I like clothes and fashion, but I won't wear something just because it's in style if it doesn't suit me, but I also won't (for the most part) wear something just because it suits me if it looks extremely dated.

Although I'm not sure how well this applies to very classic clothes or different places/events. For example, I have a de la renta dress I bought over a decade ago that I still wear. And it still looks great because it was never either on- or off- trend - I wouldn't spend that on something trendy. It's just a classic really nice dress that I'd happily wear it to a wedding, but not an art opening in East London. At the same time, I wouldn't go to an art opening in East London in very wide jeans and an oversized shirt and trainers because, while that together looks great on the net-a-porter models, it would make me look like I'd drowned in my clothing on the way.

It is about the balance of finding your style and adapting to how fashionable you want to be.

How tall are you @Nifty50something ? Apologies if I missed this (such a long thread!). I'm a 50 something too...

I think of the outfits you've posted, I like the green/khaki barrel trousers and the stripy dress with the sandals the most. The poster that said you had a butch lesbian look kind of got it right! Your jeans are all too manly. Have you tried any wide legged ones on? Or wide leg trousers generally - not barrel!

The shirts you've worn so far just add to the masculine vibe. I agree you have a really slim waist, so you should accentuate that. What about shirt dresses nipped in at the waist? (Cos do one every year). In fact have you been to Cos? I'd also suggest trying Me & Em. I personally like the french retailers listed upthread. Ba&sh has some really lovely flowy shirts right now that would not be masculine (I will wait for the sales...).

And agree with the posters who say you don't need to buy everything now. Find some instagram accounts you enjoy following and get some ideas from them.

I've just got the black and white version of this skirt after I saw it on the latest Collagerie edit. It's really nice! I'm going to wear it to my dd's graduation I think.

@HelenHywater , OP is 5' 4" (and 10 st, i.e. in normal BMI range)

ok, so maybe the long wide trousers won't work then - I'm not sure, I'm tall sorry! But cropped wide trousers might, as long as they're fitted around the waist and middle, and I do think the barrel khaki trousers look good on you. . I follow someone called winnieq on insta who is petite. She wears a lot of skirts and dresses, barrel trousers and cropped wide trousers.

That will be perfect for DD’s Graduation
DS2 graduated with a masters from Bristol and it was one of the best days of my life
To see him kneel to receive his had me bursting with pride.
Have a wonderful day

It's a gorgeous skirt. Enjoy the graduation.

@Nifty50something have you bought anything new lately?

I have! Here are a few recent outfits. Thank you for thinking of me.

I mean this in the the nicest possible way, but whats your bra situation like? Have you treated yourself to a new bra along with all your new clothes? I suggest something that lifts them up a bit more would really help define your waist.

@Nifty50something how are you feeling in your new clothes? I think you look great, but how you feel about yourself is what matters.

FWIW I particularly like the outfit with the short trench coat and the one with the dress and trainers. I love the trainers! Your style in both looks relaxed and funky. (Proviso, I’m 47, but hopefully that doesn’t nullify my opinion 🤣)

I feel good, thanks, and what's surprised me actually is that I'm getting treated much better when I'm out and about. I mean, when I go to a restaurant or shop or wherever the people working there are being really attentive and friendly, and when I'm walking around I get lots of nice smiles from other women who are in cute outfits of their own. It's lovely...although a bit sad really when you think about it too much, but that's life.

I definitely need some new bras. I have lots of very comfortable non-underwire ones that clearly aren't doing me any favours, and one very supportive bra but it's black so can't be worn under my white tops. I will focus on bras next.

Oh and thank you @AlertCat for the trainers compliment. They're from Asda in case you wanted to pick some up yourself.

@Nifty50something thanks for the trainers tip, I have some of my own from Sainsburys 🤣

I love seeing women who look great, and I try to tell them whenever I can. I’m so glad you’re getting the ‘you look fabulous’ secret glances.

John Lewis for bras imo. Much better than M&S or Selfridges (!!).

I don't like underwire but have found good sports bras can give great life, shape and form.
They are also very comfortable.
Wear a very fitted tee shirt so that you see how they look under one.

This is a very personal question but what’s your inside leg length OP? I think maybe you have the same issue as me with getting the right trouser length (especially in summer). A few of those in the photo could maybe do with either being a bit longer or a bit shorter (I realise the latter is easier!)

Also the brown trousers need hoiking up! Would look much better balanced with a higher waistline IMHO!

Ah lovely to see - the sandals really suit you, as do the red shoes. I think you should try and steer away from heavy dark shoes, they pull the eye down on you too much. Neutrals work well on your feet, as do reds.

Second the recommendation for a good bra. Very often people look older and a bit frumpy because their bra doesn't support properly.

You look so much better OP

These outfits are so cute !

Your footwear is spot on 👍

@Nifty50somethingMISS Mary of Sweden bras are perfect even in the non wired. I don't like wired bras. They are fabulous fitting. Give them a go if you see them about. I get mine online. They aren't cheap but they are worth it

playful and youthful but not in a tacky immature way

However, she is right about the brown pants, they don’t fit as well as the other pants. I think the wide leg jean in the photo I’m sharing is so flattering.

Instead of red shoes with the dress. I would do white sneakers like the photo I’m sharing. I have similar and they’re comfy

It's clear that not only do you feel good in your new clothes but you're also enjoying them@Nifty50something. Brilliant!

I love, love the red trainers! They'd look great with the wide leg jeans too.

The Green trousers, trench coat outfit is excellent 👌
the brown trousers outfit is very nice but red shoes imo are not the right (visual) weight (and a bit sensible) can you try red trainers with this outfit? I think they would look great
first outfit with jeans and green shirt - the t shirt and over shirt would look better tucked in and pulled out again so a bit loose over waist of jeans
agree with pp that brown trousers should be hoiked up