My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

LOL I didn't say it until the near end of it so.... Anyway I'm entitled to my opinion. You're right I do different and I'm entitled to say so. Take care

It's not inevitable to lose your waist post menopause if you maintain a healthy diet and weight.

More common than not though. My size 8 friend is in mourning for her lost waist.

Vis a vis clothes fitting well, it really helps to have a bigger size altered to fit. Our local dry cleaner is a trained tailor and it's fab. I'm doing it more and more. Looking back when I was a little girl and accompanied my grandmother and mother to dress shops, things were always altered.

I mourn my waist. Until I had children in my mid/late 30s I had a 24 inch waist. It never returned.

I watched that video, and I have to say, I'd struggle to take advice from her considering her overall aesthetic. Beyond the bits that are basic common sense - i.e. wide cropped trousers with elastic waistbands are unlikely to be the most visually appealing items out there - her advice is very one size fits all, which doesn't work. I'm 5'4", 60 and haven't lost my waist, I'm hourglass shaped, size 6-8 and have long legs and a short torso. I'd look and feel terrible if I followed her suggestions.

I wish Carine Roitfeld would do videos like this, however. I'd pay attention to those.

Great to see you still posting @Nifty50something !

That green dress was really fab on you (and the sandals went well with it!) I'm not sure about the green trousers I think they need to be taken up a bit to sit properly. That orange shirt is wrong because of the sleeves - if they were a bit longer past your elbow it would look much better. Same with the stripy shirt - roll the sleeves up a bit so you show your wrists, it looks much better. But overall I think those trousers would look better with a less formal/structured shirt, maybe a blouse style instead?

I'm small-framed and 5'2" so I am used to getting most of my clothes altered, I use a local alterations place and the ladies there are amazing they can make anything look instantly better on me just by taking it up and/or in a bit in certain places.

I hope you enjoyed the rest of your day out with your friend.

Oh, and I wanted to add, I agree with @RosesAndHellebores and @LifeInAHamsterWheel - alterations can transform an item. It's well worth finding someone.

I love the blue dress, it looks better without the jacket and also without the original shoes

You're entitled to an opinion, but your opinion seems to be based on your experience decades ago, and seems quite blinkered.

if you prefer a more 'alternative' vibe, great, you do you, but dissing a much-loved clothes retailer isn't helpful on this thread. M &S has a wide range of clothes and footwear.

If you have some sites that you think we'd like, post the links, please.

Just wanted to add something about styles...

Some of us wear several different styles of clothing for various occasions. For example, if I'm out to lunch at a fancy-pants place I might decide to go for the Parisian chic look. If it's dinner at a pub, I might choose jeans, heeled ankle boots and one of my vintage Monsoon jackets. For a wedding or Christening, I'd probably wear one of my 1950s style fit & flare dresses with an Edwardian riding jacket and vintage style heeled shoes.

I have a range of styles I like but the crucial thing for me is that within those styles, the colours, fit, cut, lengths etc suit my shape and make me feel confident.

So I think we can choose individual styles, fashionable styles, vintage styles, punk, boho, mix them up, whatever... One style isn't better than any other but for some of us it matters that the overall look flatters our shape and colouring.

I follow Carine Roitfeld. She does loads of black and doesn’t look uber groomed(she may well be, just saying!), as you might expect from a fashion editor. Kind of effortless. Often she has a cigarette on the go in her photos which I’ve just realised you don’t see often!

I think groomed to ungroomed perfection has always been her usp.

I love her style. I'm not a smoker, but can see it totally works for her.

Definitely. I’m tall and hover around the low end of “normal” in BMI terms and my waist is definitely not where it was before 4 DC and menopause.

The sad truth is that you can keep fit and active but eventually gravity wins over collagen and muscle tone.

I’m finding this thread really touching.
Mumsnetters coming together to help and support you OP.

I love the fact you were out shopping in a dressing room and everyone was helping you chose your clothes.

Sometimes it’s just got be be Mumsnet 💐💐

Re waists from Joan Crawford onwards Hollywood women have had ribs removed to achieve the waist there's been whispers to this day about celebrities who have done it

I identify with every word! I’m 60 Used to be ghostly pale, but recently my skin has taken on a yellow tinge( liver function optimal so not jaundiced!)
3 people in the last fortnight have said I don’t look well( including my DS1!) so I’m having fun on Vinted buying softer tones of my usual styles.. Think pinks rather than red
Light blue rather than navy and neutrals and whites which I thought I couldn’t wear
Now rethinking my make up.

Dove build up tan if you can't get into the sun for your body. Definitely make up for the face

@4444223e indeed - and yep plenty of us who are overweight ( working hard at getting it down though) and under 5 ft 6 still like to look as nice as we can and hence the Parisian chic Or cos style of fashions , a lot of which look better if you are slim or tall don’t always make us who are a little more challenged look as good as we can and hence we find styles that work for us ‘as we are’ not because they are ‘old hat’ - if I look great ( to me) in wrap dresses and good leggings and nice boots because I’ve got a good cleavage and decent ish legs then that’s what I will be rocking !! I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.

You've cracked your style.

Too late, I'm on the loose in my brown dress
It looks nice with the sandals. I like the green dress on you as well

Victoria Beckham being one.
Not that I read gossip of course 🤣🤣

Well done for being so open on this thread, it must be difficult to filter all of the opinions when some directly contradict others.
Personally I really liked the Uniqlo blue striped shirt with green trousers and the long green dress - although most people said to avoid midi length, I think because it’s plain in colour and the shape shows off your waist, that one is actually very flattering on you.

I think with your skin tone, blues and greens seem to suit you the best, and would avoid pastels, orange and yellow. I know you liked the orange shirt for a pop of colour, but the shape did nothing for you, I agree with other posters that you should avoid the masculine elbow length sleeves. Stick with short sleeves or long, and maybe folding them up.

I’d also avoid waterfall jackets and tops, anything that basically just hangs. As others have said, you have a great waist so try and end things there - so short jackets that end above the hips and draws your eyes to the thinnest part of your body.

New shoes will help, tan in colour and less chunky.

This 💯

I'm the same age as you and started to feel & look a bit matronly over the last few years, especially since I started taking HRT. I've received similar comments that I look "middle aged". I'm trying to lose weight, but in order to stay looking fresh & kept together I prioritise keeping on top of my skincare/makeup, hair & nails.
I can see you've had loads of really good advice so I'm just adding a few more nuggets to your list. I follow these ladies on Instagram for inspiration of how to keep my wardrobe looking fresh & current:

Sam Preston_
Erica_Davies
Anna Cascarina
Clubforty.claire

Aki and Koichi - If you like Uniqlo then you'll love the OOOtd that this lovely Japanese couple post. Most of Aki outfits can be replicated via Uniqlo/Cos/H&M

For Nail trends & inspiration: Harriet westmoreland

Makeup tips: Lisa Eldridge - I love that she advocates to only apply small amount of makeup.

Skincare: Nadine Baggot.

Enjoy x

I agree. Certain cuts suit me (and it's never Cos!) so I wear them whether or not they are in fashion.

I've got a couple of Cos dresses and they're nice but I can't for the life of me remember when I last wore them. I'll have to try them on again.