My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

Ah gotcha, yeah my DMS are going on Vinted today as they look stupid even though they are my size

You come across as unpleasant so I'll go be ridiculous elsewhere. Way to ruin a lovely thread.

Honestly, having my colours 'done' has been brilliant for me. I don't have an eye for colour at all so love having a book of stuff which shows what I look best in and others which are fine and go nicely with them. It makes shopping so much easier and my whole wardrobe goes together, it isn't the case that this 'top only works with those trousers' any more. When I wear my best colours someone always says I look well (even when I am not well!).
I agree it isn't for everyone and of course it doesn't turn a hideous top into a nice one but I am finally confident with what colours suit me and it's definitely been a money and timesaver for me.

@Doggymummar , bye!

I think @Nifty50something is being a bloody good sport on this thread and probably indicative of what a lovely person you are in real life!

Agree with having those jeans hoiked up higher and a different belt. Also having your top tucked in but looser. Perhaps a boxy shape waist length t-shirt or jumper would be more proportional too.

I personally found the holy grail of summer dresses last year for my shape and height. A cheapo poplin full skirt with a jersey vest top attached. With decent pockets too that don't affect how it hangs when filled with phone/keys/lipstick/snotty tissues

I have it in black and sometimes wear it with a cropped sweatshirt and trainers (with sports socks then I can pretend that I'm down with da kidz and my young adult DD won't disown me)

It's very versatile

https://direct.asda.com/george/women/dresses/red-ribbed-top-sleeveless-poplin-midi-dress/GEM1279383,default,pd.html?cgid=D1M1G20C1

@CrackingOn50 , that's a nice shape,and I love the orange colour.

I've seen that Sainsbury's are selling a similar dress rn and I'm going to get a couple more in different colours.

The black one is my favourite and the skirt hangs just right plus the close fitting stretchy top makes it easy to wear a boxy t-shirt or jacket over it without being lumpy.
Very easy to wash and dry, doesn't need ironing and I managed to wipe off a dubious stain yesterday that was either ice cream/toothpaste or some of my youngest's homemade slime by giving it a quick scrub with a baby wipe.

I like clothes and try and source outfits that suit me and make me happy but I'm also a lazy fucker who values convenience, especially as I'm clumsy and often find half my dinner down my bra!

Firstly I think you're really brave OP putting yourself out there like this. The thing I noticed most about your original photos was that the clothes just didn't fit properly- either too big or too small and not quite the right lengths. The new items that you've bought are a big improvement, that blue dress looks great on you and the jeans are a much better length. If you are close to a John Lewis I'd really recommend booking a personal stylist there. It's free and they can really help you find a style that you like and is flattering. I went with my mum and was so impressed. They found her some great everyday outfits, shoes and jewellery together with an evening dress that she needed. We were sat in our own lovely dressing room, given glasses of wine and could just sit and enjoy as she was brought different pieces in to try. She was really knowledgeable about current trends, colour matching, what brands would best suit shape etc.

I can’t wear sports socks. Just can’t do it.
I don’t care if it’s fashionable.
One thing I do have clear memories of is my mum’s style at my age. I was 25 at the time. I’d have been mortified if she’d have worn a single thing I owned.
Now it seems daughters want mums in some similar pieces.

How I look in florals and an ankle sock. Absolutely love this lady by the way!

Well, I won't copy you, that's for sure 😏

I love that dress @PeggyMitchellsCameo .

Wearing ‘visible’ socks with trainers and a dress felt like parting my hair wrong when I did it at first 😂

I now do it occasionally and I’m used to it but fully admit it’s vanity in not wanting to code myself as ‘a certain age’ plus it slightly feels a fuck you to what I was used to (non visible socks when legs on show)?

Proper cognitive dissonance going on like anything with fashion but it’s pretty nice not having ridiculous trainer socks slipping off halfway down my shoes.

I was once seeing a really lovely man, handsome and well dressed and fairly sophisticated.
My ardour was abruptly cooled when he took his kit off and stood there in his undies and a pair of those teeny ‘invisible’ trainer socks.
He looked like he had Peppa Pig shoes on 🤢

Reader, I did not fuck him

Fair enough, Cracking I see your point. Trainer socks are shite.
And the sight of a gentleman in a pair and little else would make my HRT patch fall off.
I am going out later and was really pleased with my dress from Cos. I now realise I could possibly pass as an extra in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest. It has the air of a seventies assistant in a facility vibe.
Sod it. I’m wearing it!

I’m long and lanky with the proverbial poached eggs and this wouldn’t work for me either.

No pattern, no florals, neutral colours, no high fashion - sounds like the current version of the standard “disappearing” wardrobe recommended for older women since forever. The reference to the “karen” haircut (what is this?) would seem to emphasise the attitude. Wide leg trousers flap around like sails on someone my height.

I’m not a florals person particularly but some type of pattern and strong colours work much better on me than neutrals, especially beige and brown toned neutrals which are hideous on me. Straight leg trousers and flat shoes also work better for me.

I think the idea of using a personal stylist in a department store for new ideas is great. Work out first the colours which suit first, then the shapes and lengths and just go with those.

I'd totally lean into that Ratchett Orderly vibe.

I always think that if I was very wealthy I'd go out in a 16th century fully articulated suit of armour or something equally as ridiculous because it would make me laugh and I wouldn't give a shit.

I've got a glorious dark gold kaftan dress from Fumbalina (?) that make me feel like a Temu Norma Desmond when I swan around in it.

You see this is what makes me so depressed.

It's not THAT long ago that wearing ankle high socks with trainers was a hanging offence. It was just not done.

The someone (more recently?) has decided oh no, don't wear trainer socks, wear ankle socks that everyone can see above your ankles.

This is all a load of nonsense. Who are these people who decide what we wear?

Are they fashion eds of magazines/broadsheets (basically journos who have to pay their mortgage by drumming up new ideas every month) Or are they self -proclaimed 'influencers' who earn money by using social media?

I'm older than OP. This week I wore an almost ankle length tiered midi dress , trainers and trainer socks in a very busy UK city. Do I care if someone thought 'good god, that woman is wearing trainer socks!'.

No. Because it's only 20-somethings who feel so insecure that they need to adapt to every single little fashionistas 'bible' - most women I saw that day don't.

I honestly think that at 50 and 60+ you should wear what you like and I don't like seeing ankle sock peeping above my trainers.

And mine are comfortable. I've got some that slip down my trainers so they've been dumped and the ones I wear now are very comfy.

@CapaciousHag I don't think I'm missing the point, but we clearly have different viewpoints and isn't that ok?

- they’re tapping into the zeitgeist and actually changing thought.

This is a new one to me!

FFS.

Ditch the cropped trousers!!!! They are just for over 70s

Ratchet Orderly love it.
So it’s heavy cotton never worn it, needs an iron.
Checked the details - it’s 100 per cent cotton, hand wash…. don’t iron! WTAF? It’s not silk. It’s just standard, crisp cotton in beige.

I kinda agree with you and often wonder at the osmotic effect of our perception of what is 'fashionable'

I can think of a few styles/items that I've looked at in a perplexed like horror over the years which has gradually changed by exposure to them. Thus is the ever changing cycle of fashion and what is and isn't 'acceptable' and it's been like this before Beau Brummell was a twinkle in his daddy's eye.

It's all driven by capitalism and consumerism as well as status which has been magnified in our world of social media, fast fashion and production methods these days.

Also, the changing way that we're expected to act and behave as people at different ages too. My maternal grandmother was born in the last year of Queen Victoria's reign and the day she turned 60 she got rid of anything deemed colourful or 'unsuitable' in her wardrobe and donned a uniform of dark dresses with the occasional small polka dot or print.

The same way that 'elderly' women in my youth adopted the ubiquitous 'old lady' hairstyle, although when I'm in my 70s it'll probably change again.

The societal shift that means women are having babies later, working, health outcomes etc has blurred the strata of what was once perceived as 'old' so we're more aware and influenced by fashion.

And kids in their 20s will always be at the forefront of what we think is daft fashion because that's what kids do, even with any nefarious consumerism powers driving them.

Like I said with the wearing above ankle socks with trainers, I'm open enough to admit vanity plus the good natured influence of my teenage kids but I'm also well aware of the fickleness of it all?

I must reiterate that the teeny tiny sock wearing man would've put anyone off. He also licked his knife at dinner and looked like he'd had his toes and soles coloured like he was a hastily cast Mr Tumnus in an am dram production of The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe so he certainly wasn't getting to sample my Turkish delights.

Just a quick comment about 'getting your colours done'.

It's not really about colours, it's which shade/tone of a colour looks best on you. Take all the colours of red from very cool cerise to very warm brick and all the shades from dark to light. That's a huge range of reds and I know from trial and error the brick shades/tones drain my face and the cool reds flatter my skin tone.

Take greens - khaki close to my face makes me look ill and tired but teal and emerald brighten me. So don't fall into the trap of thinking that you don't suit green or red or whatever because it might be down to shades rather than colour.

I also want to agree with those who know which shape of trousers look best on them, regardless of what's in fashion. I'm 71 and have fairly long legs with slim thighs and I'm not going to swamp them in baggy trousers when I know I look good in straight legs / slim cut / boot cut. I wouldn't wear cropped trousers if you paid me but not because they're out of fashion, it's more because I have fair skin and don't like showing my bare legs.

I agree.

I think there is a world of difference between looking as if you don't care about your appearance and what suits you, and slavishly following every tiny trend that's been created by some 'no one' who puts herself on social media as some kind of self-proclaimed expert. Or by a company whose sole aim is making money and bringing out new styles (hello barrel leg trousers.)

For example, a 'crime' I see is older women wearing almost flat (low heeled) black or navy court shoes with trousers and jeans .

I also hate to see older women in their own 'uniform' with a short cropped hairstyle, in grey, often really short almost shaved up the back, baggy poorly fitting jeans and a fleece.

But there's a world of difference between that look and fretting over trainer socks or not.

I think 'fashion' is knowing what suits your shape, your colouring and making the best of what you've got, mixing some modern styles with more classic depending on if if it's for work, or out of work.

Isn't that style, with the fashion element applied to it to stop it looking stale.