My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

I'm too short for flares, barrel legs so stick to straight cut.

With dresses please wear a full length if it's fitted petticoat, dresses rarely have linings. Otherwise waist petticoats will do. M&s sell lovely ones

I agree. It started off quite interesting but is now into the hide your body's flaws / don't wear high necks/ draw the eyes away and "get your colours done" territory.

I'm hugely sceptical about "getting your colours" done. It's not a phenomenon I've seen on me or anyone else and something being in the right colour won't stop it being a monstrosity.

I'm enjoying this thread and have found it enlightening, but some posters seem to be arguing that an outfit is aging because it's no longer fashionable. Is this right? For example, there have been comments about cardigans, which apparently aren't on trend. But do we all honestly look at a woman in a cardigan and think: "Well, she must be younger than she appears"?

Did untrendy jeans/ cropped trousers/ stripy tops/ strong patterns make 50-year-olds look 60 when they were in fashion? If we banish them from our wardrobe now and sell them on Vinted, are we condemning the buyers to an aging experience?

I do find fashion a bit baffling, but cropped trousers genuinely suit my figure and I'm not going to throw mine out!

big shoe make you look very frumpy and only look trendy on younger slim people

Since I was a teen (DMs were the thing to wear then, or scuffed Adidas) I have felt that dainty shoes can make your feet look too small if you have sturdy or muscular legs. Am I deluded because of the trend for big boots in my formative years, or is there some truth in that? I’d wear a ballet flat with some wider trousers or a longer dress, but not with a short dress or skinny trousers.

@JanetheObscure , it's the being untrendy.

I popped out yesterday in what I think of as a 'classic' casual outfit, and I felt that the tapered trousers made me look like I didn't care. Had they been straight and not patterned, I'd have probably looked better.

The stripy top is a classic, but if it doesn't suit you, it's not.
Someone like PoW can look fine in slim trousers/jeans and a breton, but on me, I'd look like a blob trying to, and failing to, look younger.

A lot of it is in attitude.

I am creeped by teeny-tiny feet. I think shoes need to match the body proportions.

@EcruCardigan And your cardigan? 😀

Surely your shoes are dependent on you foot size? I'm a 3.5 and I wouldn't wear size 6 to make me look more in proportion, I wouldn't be able to walk.

Is that not missing the point slightly, @JanetheObscure?

It is not that (for instance) cropped jeans ‘make someone look old’. It is that if you continue to wear cropped jeans when fashion has moved on to floor length pyjamas you communicate to others that you are not keeping up with new ideas - and that is a quality generally ascribed to ‘the elderly’. (That’s a broad and un-nuanced example, obviously, and people’s unconscious assessment of another person’s appearance might encompass all sorts of things we’re not aware of - clothing is just one aspect, but it’s one that’s largely within an individual’s control.) The OP’s friend didn’t think she looked older than her years because of one pair of jeans. It was - as we’ve seen - the entire pattern of the OP’s wardrobe that made her look stuck in the past. (That is, like the cliched idea of an elderly person who ‘can’t keep up’.)

I’m not going to write an essay on the philosophy of evolving fashion - but the best designers aren’t coming up with new shapes and proportions purely to satisfy their corporate employers - they’re tapping into the zeitgeist and actually changing thought. It ought to be fun to take notice of this and try new things - at least occasionally.

@JanetheObscure , a cardigan is my signature, any colour or style as long as it's ecru. They're just the job for keeping warm and stylish in Borsetshire or Sunderland.

IRL, the only cardigans I have are round/crew necked and with buttons up the front. I think they suit me.
Cardigans - New collection | agnès b

It's totally absurd. All these ridiculous rules about everything.

Who cares if cardigans are "on trend" or not? Sometimes you just need something to put on over a frock.

And, as for stylists and having our colours done... Why have your "style" dictated by a person who doesn't know you or your lifestyle or your preferences?

Why be a sheep when you can be a wolf? Fashion rules are for breaking 😁

@CoubousAndTourmalet , you do you, duck.

I don't think we've ever lived in a time where it's so easy to wear what suits you, rather than having to be 'on trend'.

Everything of every style and colour is available to us, so why wouldn't you take advantage by wearing what 'flatters' you more, be it casual or dressy, when you've started a post to say that you'd like to change your wardrobe up a bit?

I'm in my late fifties, and don't think it has ever been more 'acceptable' (should you care) to dress up/dress down/wear what you fancy.

CapaciousHag
your style sounds amazing
please can you elaborate re your style ? Where you shop?
you describe your clothes as gorgeous- i must admit , i find a lot of clothes in shops really horrible , cheap fabric .
Does this mean you buy expensive stuff or is it just the way you put things together?
do you look ar style board s or something? Please cd you advise me as i would love to be more creative with clothes.
i shop at Palva and wear vintage- have worn true vintage all my adult life - but its getting harder to find and. Also feel i need a nod to modern as i age ( 61 - petite )
thanks !

I can't see why tapered trousers are considered 'old'.

eg Mint Velvet has several pairs of Capri trousers online now in black and navy.
MV aren't red hot fashion but neither are they Sea Salt (which I do consider frumpy.)

They are IMO 'staples' that can be smartish office wear or more casual depending on the top you wear.

I think @Nifty50something you need to work out who you are and what clothes you need.

Your style so far comes over as slightly 'masculine' so I wonder how you'd feel about, for example, the more girly styles of Nobody's Child - see their summer dresses.

Do you need smart clothes for work? Do you go out much in the evenings for dinner, pubs, theatre etc? What's your lifestyle?

Are you single and dating or in a relaitonship?

All of these have a bearing on what you'll wear and for what occasions.

She is- that's the point.
I must admit I laughed when someone said cardigans were 'out'.
How can they be when every shop is selling them and women are wearing them?

why would tapered trousers and a stripy top make you look like a blob?

No, the style, not the size. Like moon boots (popular in the late 90s) or Buffalos (ditto, but also now) are massive whatever foot size you are, while ballet flats are very dainty. So the former might give a very slim person the impression of lollipop legs, while on someone with thicker or more muscular legs they would provide balance. And vice versa.

I'm really enjoying your thread, @Nifty50something and your experimenting. I love that you're so open to feedback. I agree, it's easy to slip into frumpy. Your new jeans look much better pulled up. I'm wondering if buying short length jeans is causing you a problem because you need the regular length (longer) body/waist. In your earlier photos of your old jeans, they all look too short then they make you look frumpy because they are pulled down as they're not long enough. The proportions are then all wrong and the waist is too low. The low waist makes you look cut in half. I wonder if you need to buy regular length and have them shortened. A pain, I know. You do have a fabulous figure and the blue dress really shows that off.

@BringontheSunAgain , The tapered trousers aren't trendy. Stripy tops don't suit me.

So to wear clumpy shoes not only must you be slim but you must be young? Why ? Why does something look frumpy or not depending on the age of the person wearing it? Isn’t this just agism ?

@FlippityflopsI think I’ll pass on detailing my entire dressing process - the thread isn’t about me. You could take a look at the long list of websites I posted above.

Also, if you see a poster being torn to shreds on S&B for ridiculous, extravagant but simultaneously ‘Amish’, offensively ‘out there’ clothing - it’s probably me. (Or @IHaveAlwaysLivedintheCastle😄)

I think the terms "frumpy" and "flattering" are very subjective and can be problematic. I think describing the visual effect of what you are wearing is more helpful eg the photo of the op in the first dress, the tight across the top, length of the dress and heavy shoes creates a lot of horizontal lines that creates more width. I also think prescriptive rules are not helpful as we all look different in the same clothes.

I think there are three elements to style:

1. Your personal style (the most important thing)
2. How different clothes, shapes and fabrics, look on you
3. What different colours look like on you

@CoubousAndTourmalet I actually had my colours done and style advice from an image consultant years ago. I first met her at a party and liked her retro/alternative style, we were also wearing the same colour dress. I appreciate I might have been very lucky. she spent a long time discussing my style and how to wear colours. It was actually the opposite of strict rules and helped me understand why certain things looked the way they did on me.

@Doggymummar , Surely your shoes are dependent on you foot size? I'm a 3.5 and I wouldn't wear size 6 to make me look more in proportion, I wouldn't be able to walk. You are being ridiculous.

Nobody is suggesting you wear the wrong size. The idea is if you are of chunky proportions, you wear a chunky shoe.

Dainty shoes (e.g. ballet flats) when the body and legs are stout looks unbalanced. Chunky DM/biker boots on a slender gamine wisp of a woman looks incongruous.

I don’t really get this ‘I’m not wearing them because they’re not trendy’. If you like something and it suits you, just wear it! There are a gazillion variations on trends, most of which are almost over by the time they hit the high street shops. Is buying what’s ‘trendy’ on the high street actually on trend or is it just people turning into sheep? Like wearing a uniform. Where is the fun in that? Fashion should be fun! Maybe it’s back to the inevitable fashion versus style question.

I pretty much live in dresses or semi-cropped trousers. I’m trying to remember the last time I wore trousers that weren’t cropped. 😂 As with dresses, the key thing with cropped trousers is the length and where they cut across your lower legs. 7/8 length you can easily get away with and they’re not ageing but much shorter than that and it’s more risky. Of course ideally you need long legs for them to work well as they can easily make short legs look even shorter. But sometimes you have to say to hell with it and just wear what you like.