My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

@Nifty50something One of the best things you can do is to look 'groomed' as you get older. You can get away with not being in the height of fashion every day if you have a good haircut/ colour (if you want), good skin and teeth (don't let them go brown), decent make up that's flattering, and colours that work for you.

I had my colours done years ago and what I learned was worth it although I don't follow it slavishly.

I don't look good in anything olive, mustard, brown etc.

I was told not to wear black near my face (works in your 20s but maybe not in your 40s+.) Dark grey and navy work better.

I love 'peach' but it makes me look sallow whereas a brighter or baby pink light my skin up.
I look good in ivory but beige drains me and I 'disappear' in it.

You don't need to pay for this - just try on some scarves in shops or hold knitwear up to your face.

Me and my DD often talk about a social experiment that we'd find fascinating and probably impossible to do.

If there was an island populated solely by women and they were taught seamstress/clothes making skills what would they make and how would that evolve?
Especially if they were free from the male gaze as well as outside influence?

Obviously this would be dependent on factors like climate, what tasks they were doing etc.

Would it start off with them recreating clothing they'd be familiar with and influenced by their own experiences but what would happen after a few years?

Would their society eventually show individualism in creating their clothes? An outlet for displaying creativity? Or would, as often happens with groups of autonomous women free from patriarchal pressure, end up being just a practical 'uniform' because they give no fucks and have better things to do in their female island society?

Jeez, I'm wittering on today whilst procrastinating and not working 😂

I guess so!

I think that sadly, there are people who have no sense of style and just can't get their heads around it no matter what and others who can.

My own style is pretty boring and safe but I've learned what colours and shapes suit me.

I do 'nod ' to fashion and my 30-something DIL was impressed that I was wearing some boyfriend jeans (they aren't super baggy) and part of the reason for that is they are just so much more comfy than being squeezed into skinnies!

Try on some hats. There will be some that drain you, and others that will make you sparkle.

As a pp suggested, you can usually wear each colour group (e.g. yellow, green, red) but only some of the shades within each one will suit you.

Why can't I leave the procrastination until when I get round to it?

I'd want to wear something elaborate as if I was in an episode of Versailles.

@CrackingOn50
Or would, as often happens with groups of autonomous women free from patriarchal pressure, end up being just a practical 'uniform' because they give no fucks and have better things to do in their female island society?

Your post implies that women essentially dress for men and wouldn't bother if men weren't around. I reject that. Most women dress for themselves not under duress of 'patriarchal pressure' whatever that looks like. What exactly would we be wearing if we were dressing to satisfy 'patriarchal pressure' ? I don't think current fashion trends could be described as appealing to patriarchal pressure - quite the opposite.

Well come on, how did you get from the posters comments that she was saying wear shoes that are too small in size! That is funny. Why did her response hit such a nerve, do you not like making mistakes/misunderstanding, it doesn't matter.

Yes, I know that what it's supposed to be. It's simply not a phenomenon I see, either on me or anyone else. I never look at someone and think "that makes you look ill or tired" or whatever.

Yes, I know that what it's supposed to be. It's simply not a phenomenon I see, either on me or anyone else. I never look at someone and think "that makes you look ill or tired" or whatever.

Maybe you don't have a good judge of colours and how they do make people look different?

It's very subtle. Black near the face can make under eye shadows look darker, drain the face of colour and show up lines etc more.

You might notice if someone was trying different colours near their face so you could see the difference.

Same here.

“Getting your colours done” always makes me think of Bridget Jones and her mum.

Or crinolines, bustles, something different!

I wouldn't notice it. I don't scrutinise people's faces that way. I look at clothes, not faces, but aside from that I still don't think it makes the sort of difference you say- maybe when you're looking at yourself, but not looking at third parties.

Well I guess we all perceive things differently. I'm very sensitive to colour eg when decorating I'll go through loads of matchpots until I find the exact shade of ivory white or dark green that satisfies me! It takes me ages to choose a new lipstick or nail varnish and I have discarded loads that aren't quite right for me. I paint as a hobby and one of my favourite things to do is colour mixing to create new shades and colour combinations. I notice instantly when a friend is wearing something that flatters their skin tone ie makes them look well, refreshed or makes their eyes sparkle.

Agree. This is getting painful. Nothing is good enough, lots of contradictions.

r/color analysis popped up in my fed, I took a look as my work introduced the concept to us a while ago, and it's filled with comments like, "you're a soft spring, a bright winter, a cool summer. No one can agree. It's advertised that you'll look ill in some colors and fantastic in others, but I think there's a lot of bs to it as no one can agree on what season someone is bc it dorsn't make enough difference and it's too tedious for words. It's also filled with people posting pictures to see if they should wear gold or silver, wheras the reality is lots of people can wear both.

Sorry for the rant, but I agree with the poster who said men would never get so preoccupied with the constanly changing trends and agonizing over little details.

I was adding that to the other list of external influences/pressures that would absent on my imaginary island.

It's certainly true that some women dress to attract a male partner and/or feel constrained to wear items that are 'approved' by males. I once saw a cartoon showing a fully covered woman next to a woman in a dental floss bikini saying something like 'different sides of the same coin' when it comes to women being told what to wear by men.

We know that the world has been designed with the default model being men and that's shown in things like safety gear, uniforms that have been scaled down to fit women therefore not fitting, astronaut suits (Invisible Women) and just look at the shit excuse for pockets we get!

I think that the vast majority of us here dress for ourselves and other women and, like you said, current trends that have been mentioned definitely show that but women's clothes still have design faults (like the aforementioned lack of pockets).

My imaginary island would probably be able to solve ergonomic problems because their clothing would be designed totally in the sphere of women and their needs so that's what I mainly meant iyswim?!

@BringontheSunAgain totally agree-

@Bigcat25 Iagree about the colour 'seasons' because they're invented for commercial purposes and people can just play with holding up different shades to their face to see what looks better/worse on them. I have my own colour palette developed over time and it probably doesn't correspond to a season at all.

I think you're missing the point to be honest.

It isn't something you would notice ordinarily.

But if someone you were with was wearing a bright blue jumper and said 'what do you think' and then swapped it for a pale baby blue one, I bet you'd have an opinion! And said she suited one more than the other.
Then when or of you analysed why, you'd see that one make her skin look brighter, or paler, or one made her hair colour more vibrant, etc.

I'm sorry but it's not the concept that's wrong, but the fact you don't seem to appreciate or understand it.

If we were to all think like you, we'd all wear every colour.
Do you not choose colours that you think suit you better?

@BringontheSunAgain totally agree. This slavish adherence to what's 'in' is baffling and really quite annoying.

This current obsession with barrel legs or whatever they're called - I've just been to M&S and it's full of all sorts of different types of jeans - not just that style. So it doesn't make sense to me to say that straight cut/tapered/ cigarette etc. are passe because they're actually selling them Right now.

@CrackingOn50Or would, as often happens with groups of autonomous women free from patriarchal pressure, end up being just a practical 'uniform' because they give no fucks and have better things to do in their female island society?

Your post implies that being interested in clothes is a bit shallow ; that I should have better things to do; that clothes should just be "practical"- (whatever that means- I don't think any of my clothes are "impractical")

@CiaoMeow I agree.

Anyone who knows anything about marketing, whether it's clothes or cars or chocolate, knows that what people want is novelty- something new.
New stuff sells.

So the more 'new' styles that they can come up with, the more money they make.

And then it all goes round in a circle. I wore flares in the 1960/early 70s. I laughed at my Mum's generation who wore tapered cigarette style trousers of the 1950s.
Then guess what? They both made a come back!

No. I wouldn't assess anything that way. If someone showed my 2 blue jumpers I'd pick the one I liked as a colour in its own right.

If we were to all think like you, we'd all wear every colour. Er, I do? I can't think of any colour I exclude.

Do you not choose colours that you think suit you better?
Don't know what you mean.
I choose clothes I like. I don't exclude anything because the colour might not suit me. In real life, my clothes get loads of compliments, colleagues, friends and random strangers.

I think the "concept" is a restrictive and limiting way of dressing. Fine if it suits you, it doesn't appeal to me in the slightest.

It sounds like you're one of those people who look good in most things, as my granny used to say "She'd look good in a Tate & Lyle sack".

I’m struggling to find a ‘goes with everything ‘ blazer can you share a pick or a link of yours?