My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

Are you frumpy or are you wearing what some perceive to be a uniform for those a little older? Look around you and are you merging in and if so, to what group. I'm 63 and wouldn't wear what you do, but do see that many feel happier not standing out, hence the uniform. What are you happy wearing and what are your 'tribe' wearing?

Hmm … 😄

I’m also in my early 60s - and while I’m perfectly happy to be recognised as such, my clothes are just … gorgeous clothes. (As in causing random strangers, male and female, to chase me down the street to compliment me.) I’m certainly not rushing out to buy every new shape or colour that comes out, btw. Like most people I mix old and new.

Unless they were a personal gift from Phoebe Philo I wouldn’t at the moment be wearing the items you describe, because they’d look unfashionable. And I’d put up a fight if anyone tried to get me into an Aztec printed dress …

It really isn’t hard to buy what is fashionable - because that’s what’s in the shops. (Including M & Spencer!) It’s harder if you’re only buying pre-owned without any knowledge at all of what’s current. How much time do you spend observing and considering evolving styles? It’s all very well getting other people to list things - but it might be a good idea to drill down to exactly why you’ve been uninterested up to this point.

Thank you! I think I dress for comfort and also as the seasons change I just get my old favourites down from the loft instead of going to the shops to buy the latest trends. And because I don't like to stand out all this combines to read as frumpy.

I guess one of the main things is that there has been a big shift in trouser styles that I somehow managed to stay totally oblivious to!

Also if my clothes had never been in fashion but were just striking unusual pieces (like I'm guessing yours are @capacioushag ) then they wouldn't currently be out of fashion but would be timeless.

Really helpful to know the items I've listed are definitely "out" - I'll put them in the charity bag now and get myself a few new things. I think that would help me feel better.

Loads of what's in this year on YouTube although I do often go out looking like an ageing hippy. 70's crochet tops are back.
Have a youtube style browse it's very useful.
I haven't worn a dress since 1975 (I'm 63).
I never wear cropped trousers, they are insta-grandma on me. I wear straight leg trousers, they make the best of my figure.

The ‘not wanting to stand out’ thing is interesting. Because, as you’ve seen, you are standing out (at least to that friend) by not simply going with the flow of fashion.

May I ask why you assume fashion and comfort must be mutually exclusive? It’s an odd idea - and often confidently stated by posters who appear on a Style and Beauty thread to reprimand everyone else for foolish profligacy. For myself - I buy expertly designed clothes in lovely fabrics blah, blah, blah, and the only times I’ve ever been uncomfortable have been after a raid on the family size crisps or an over ambitious order from the bakery, when my skirts might be a bit tight around the waist for a couple of weeks. Fashionable clothes are not inherently uncomfortable. It is, if you’ll forgive me, a stupid argument.

It’s true that trouser shapes have changed! There are particular M&S models that people are raving about on S&B - so you should browse some threads. (I’m not terribly interested as I like re-introducing my limbs to the sun over summer.)

What sort of budget do you have? More

Uniqlo

or

Community Clothing

And what sort of (presumably casual) style? More

American Vintage

or

Toast?

Or

Cos

Or something else entirely?

Most tighter/shorter leg trousers do look more dated at the moment as the trend is voluminous, wide, baggy, slouchy. I say that as I sit here in skinny jeans.

And then 5 minutes later Fashion decrees otherwise
https://www.vogue.com/article/how-to-style-capri-leggings

I'm mid 50s, I don't know if I wear things that are "in" as such - I have a lot of secondhand pieces - but would mix those with more current styles. I think @CapaciousHag has it, how much are you interested in your style? For me, I get a lot of pleasure from clothes and also fun and playing around with style. So, today it's hot, I'm not going anywhere special, so I'm in a vintage d&g (old favourite charity shop bargain) denim skirt, knotted blue camo print t-shirt and black birkenstocks.

@thedevilinablackdress It’s a trick!

Cigarette pants aside, the midi dresses and cropped jeans are exactly what my MIL wears. She’s in her 80s.

Experiment with wider leg trousers and jeans. Do you look at any instagram accounts for inspiration? I like The Style Edit. She doesn’t follow trends slavishly, but she always looks great. (She’s very short though so a bit niche).

OP just wear what you’re happy in and suits you. Get those clothes out of the charity bag! Those tapered trousers will never date . Midi dresses are still “in.” Not everyone wears wide trousers, they don’t suit some people. I’ve got trousers that are wide, narrow, straight, tapered and wear them when I want.

I think summer stuff as you say can date easily as we get such poor weather you do rely on the same stuff.

Aztec and palm print does sound a bit dated. I agree M&S has good stuff at the minute.

What sort of shoes were you wearing?

The above outfit was supposed to show you can do comfy as well as (hopefully) not looking outdated. T-shirt/top and denim skirt v easy formula.

I wear a range of trouser shapes and styles, again, it's mixing old and new.

Look in shop windows for what’s currently available? You don’t need to buy it. YouTube is great. Magazines? I’m a similar age to you and admit I wouldn’t wear what you are describing but we are all different, you should do you. Consider going with a friend to get your colours done? Just because it’s a fun thing to do. I’m in a boho phase at the moment with lots of pieces from Free People - again, not everyone’s taste and that’s fine!

Don't buy things just because you have an idea you'll look younger. You'll just end up feeling awkward in waistcoats and barrel leg trousers. Unless they genuinely appeal to you. (I happen to be very fond of a waistcoat). If you want a wardrobe update, see what's around that you really like.

As an over 60 - so what? Who cares if someone got your age wrong? Life is far too short to be worrying if your clothes are ageing you.

I’m 52 and would be pretty upset if someone guessed my age as being older, let alone in my 60s. It’s human nature.

Maybe in your 60s you'll have learned how unimportant it is! Sharing the wisdom of age here

Thanks again. Here's my palm print dress and I added a waistcoat to try to update it. Is it that bad, please? The other stuff I'll get rid of.

In terms of budget I'm uniqlo rather than community clothing. And I love the Toast aesthetic. I'll keep exploring. I felt a bit bad about looking older than I am but the more I think about it the more I want this to be fun. Fashion can be a cool new hobby that helps me feel great about myself rather than something I feel like I have to do if that makes sense.

Looks like my image is under review - hopefully it will appear soon.

You look cool, love your shoes

You see, it would entirely depend upon the context in which I encountered you in that outfit.

If I attended a concert and you were playing in the orchestra, your not to my taste clothes would be less than one percent of what I noticed about you. If an old friend brought you to lunch I might initially think Oh, she doesn’t care about fashion, so I’ll steer clear of that as a subject of conversation. But I might be entirely charmed by you, regardless, and find other things we had in common. (I may well, to be polite, compliment the bold print of your dress.) If you came onto S&B and recommended this exact outfit to someone else … Yeah … I’d try, and probably fail to hold my tongue.

So … 🤷‍♀️

Just to add - my mother is in her 90’s and would absolutely refuse to wear those clothes or shoes - so it really isn’t about age.

I also buy second hand and comfortable clothes. I get most things on vinted now. I've actually found I am better dressed now and get way more compliments on my clothes because I can trawl through a complete range of things. E.g. wide leg jeans then add a search term for elasticated. Or look for specific brands new workout tags. Once you work out what you would like then I'd really recommend this approach.

What height and size are you, @Nifty50something?

I’m not a fan of the waistcoat and dress combo and I don’t think your shoes go either, as much as I like them.

I’m not a massive fan of the dress either but I think it would be much better with chunky wedge shoes or sandals, or flat ones if you can’t do height.