My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

I'm 57 and while no fashion guru, I think cropped trousers ( and yes I call them pedal pushers) are definitely ageing... I think of them associated with much older ladies (my Mum is rather fond of them)
I like Uniqlo too.. so good for plain basics that go well together.
Wide leg trousers (I love linen but hate the ironing!) and decent bootcut (so glad they are back) are flattering.
I tend to wear bootcut jeans with a linen shirt, and absolutely no midi skirts..my DD2 looks cool and trendy in them at 30...I look... Older!
I totally get the 'lost my way' with clothes, my inclination is towards the layered look..loose flowing tops and trousers , cream boat neck jumpers etc and I have a weakness for dungarees, but often the look ends up 'homeless' or ' I work with small children's (I do actually but I don't want to look like an extra of Playaway!)

Think I could use a Uniqlo visit !!

I think what makes the outfit in the photo look dowdy is that none of the items you are wearing fit you quite right. The dress is too strained on the bust and the waistcoat too baggy. You mention buying most of your clothes from secondhand shops, which makes me think that you may have quite a few that perhaps don’t fit quite right?

I've just worked up a shoot where pieces provided for the celeb wardrobe were a mix of vintage and contemporary. One look was wideleg but not too wideleg jeans, ribbed tucked in high round neck t shirt and vintage waistcoat worn open, sneaker mules; the other look was skinny jeans (being described as sculpted) and a big old soft denim chambray esque shirt (so 80s 🤣) with popper buttons too and loafers. A baggy Breton nearly made the cut. Jewellery - strong veto for multiple chains and big tick for simple chunky chain and mannish rings and watches. Jackets denim classic, baggy blazer and cropped trench

You need to have a persona in mind, a few words to describe your ideal image, and then you can always ask "would xyz wear this, is this xyz-enough?"
That description becomes a shortcut in your mind, and can give you confidence because you know all your clothes fit that image.

Some examples could be writer at hay festival, art tutor, Baroness Brady (I wish I could dress like her!), chic French woman on flight (this was someone who sat the row next to me and I was obsessed with her whole look)

Also decide what is most important to you.

I really love patterns and lots of colour but I know it isn't stylish on me, and whenever I wear patterns outside the house I feel frumpy, the opposite of chic French woman.

So I keep my beloved patterns for lounge wear and opt for more chic when I'm out, so that I feel confident and not frumpy.

You look as if you have a waist, so show it off. Short T-shirts to tops, not loose/baggy ones.

I’m 51 and try to stay slightly fashionable but obviously I’m not wearing crop tops and 90’s jeans like the teens.
I find wide leg jeans look awful on me but wide leg cotton/linen trousers with trainers and a casual top is really comfortable and pretty current.
I have a fair few above the knee dresses that I wear with slouchy cardigans and flip flops or trainers.
Nothing I wear would be ok at a fashion show but I don’t tend to frequent those. I feel I look my age but I’m alright about that. If you’re struggling, maybe look into a personal shopper (not John Lewis, I, like many people had a bad experience with them). I believe Selfridges has good ones and you don’t have to buy anything there if you don’t want to.

I think you should keep what you're happy in, and especially don't get rid of jeans that are comfortable.

If keeping up with fashion isn't your thing, just don't.

You could, however, try to develop a wardrobe that would look 'classic' that you could wear with whatever you have right now.
Tailored white shirt
Black turtleneck
Cashmere jumpers
Neat cardigans in navy, grey, black, white, red (natural fibres)
Faded blue jeans
Nice looking accessories - buy a nicer handbag on eBay, wear a leather belt with your jeans, interesting necklaces, silk scarves

The frond dress is definitely not your friend, and the waistcoat is not doing what you hoped it would do.

A nice shirt dress falling just above your knee would likely suit you. At or just above the knee is a flattering length. I'd steer clear of floral or even graphic floral patterns. Denim or chambray shirt dresses can look timeless and smart, as can striped and polka dot styles.

Your shoes need an update. There are more up to date clunky styles out there.

I’m 49 and I don’t really care what’s in fashion.

I know what I like and what suits me. I find following trends which are largely geared towards a younger market just doesn’t go well.

My style is naturally a bit boho and I like colours and prints rather than conservative, plain styles so I’m often at odds with preferences on here 😂🤷‍♀️

I think the length and style of the dress in your photo makes it look much older. It’s a formal, safe look that I could imagine teachers wearing when I was at school!

Theres nothing wrong with prints but if the style of dress is conservative/semi-formal, you’ll end up looking as if you’re wearing work attire (that’s not particularly flattering).

I think dresses need to look more relaxed and casual or else they will fall into the “nan’s got a new dress” bracket. The buttoning all the way through is quite ageing, together with the structured neckline. And those shoes remind me of what we used to be forced to wear 😳 They probably look good on a young, edgy model, but on an older woman they just look a bit grannyish.

I think you should wear whatever style of trousers you like, and what suits you! Not everyone looks good in barrel trousers. The shoes you pair with your trousers and the top you wear will probably have a bigger impact on your overall look than the trousers alone.

I have a cracking waist, but also a c-section tum/fupa/bloating.

I’d love to know how to make the most of my waist while hiding my lower tummy. Drives me mad!

OP, you have a lovely figure and seem like a cracking person. Keep it simple. Try ‘The Set’ at Next - loads of mix and match separates and dresses designed to form a capsule wardrobe. Not expensive but the things I’ve had have been great quality.

A decent pair of trainers will take you a long way. Be careful though, I’ve developed quite the habit

Joining in to follow, looks like there are some knowledgeable posters here

@BlueEyedBogWitch A-line dresses! I have a dress from Zara that if I could replicate in every colour I swear I would - there hasn’t been an occasion that I’ve worn it that I didn’t get a ridiculous amount of compliments.

I don’t like the dress, nor the waistcoat or shoes. It does look aging

Oh no, I hate capri length, I have fat calves so they are not flattering. I've have been enjoying the demise of skinny jeans to be honest, they were popular for far too long.

@Nifty50something I’m not in your age bracket yet but I was really struggling lately (I used to be really into fashion but I think burnout just took any joy away from) and I just accepted that I’m not a neutrals person. Try and build a capsule wardrobe adjusted to your liking.

• I love your shoes, docs go with everything and I’ll die on this hill. But if you want to go a more “elegant” route then maybe swap for a different style of shoe.
• I’d switch up the nail colour to something bolder
• How do you feel about your hair? Hairstyle can really age a person
• Shelve palm and Aztec prints for the time being
• What’s your take on jewellery?
• If everything gets too overwhelming, co-ords are your friends!!

And finally, have you looked into your palette? It’s not set in stone, but I do think it really helps.
I also think it’s worth looking up people that look similar to you (not necessarily your age even) and see what you like on them.

That dress looks fine. It’s the waistcoat that looks weird, but it’s mainly the shoes that make you look older. Those are exactly like my local shoe shop sells in a section clearly aimed at retired women.

I also suspect most of your straight legged trousers are ok. Again, it will be some part of your outfit not usually the main garment itself. The dress you posted is very similar to one my younger friend wears and she’s in her 30s and looks great. She would never wear it with those shoes though or that waistcoat.

Leave the clothes and look at your footwear (and hairstyle and make up, which can also be ageing).

I'm 60 and I love clothes. My suggestion would be to go to a big shopping centre and just have a walk around of the chains Zara, H and M, M and S, Next and see what they are selling. If you're ok with fast fashion have a spend. Alternatively If you can afford it then go for a more expensive version because they will last longer and be better quality. Toast, Plumo, YMC, COS, Anthropology etc. Respectfully I wouldn't wear your dress and I wouldn't wear the dress/waistcoat combination either. If it's your favourite I would ditch the waistcoat and the shoes and wear it with boots, something clunky, Dr Martens probably.

I'm 64. I'd be royally pissed off if anyone thought I was over 60 😀. I'm also not fashionable.

What’s with all this Doc Martens slander in this thread!

It’s the shoes.

Get some trainers. Couple of pairs of wide legs.

A few people have mentioned Marks and Spencer and what is good about looking online at their stuff is that they style an item with other suggestions so you get a whole outfit eg you see a nice skirt and underneath you have a suggested top, jacket, shoes and bag. It’s excellent for people like me who would buy a random item and don’t know how to wear it.

They also have real people in photos or short videos showing how to style an item and they look fantastic by just adding the right jewellery or shoes.

I am 60 and would not wear cropped trousers with zips or the other things you describe. I love clothes and fashion so I try things out. I am small so don’t suit oversized trousers for example but I do wear wide legs if they fit well. Absolutely everyone where I live, young and old, is wearing wide trousers, short jacket and trainers and you can wear a version of it that suits you.

You are very brave to put your photo on but it sounds like you are open to ideas. I don’t think you should listen to people saying, ‘Just wear what you like, don’t worry about fashion.’ Try some new styles and see how you get on! It’s nice to make an effort and you want to keep up with the times to avoid the ageing comments you had. You have had some great suggestions on here! Good luck!

Nothing wrong with wanting to look your age or a bit younger.My mum is.mid 70s and hates the idea of wearing anything "old lady like"

Because they mostly seem to like trainers, which are the antithesis of style 🙄

I thought everyone in MN land looked at least 20 years younger and were told so regularly…

Anyway OP I would really recommend getting a john lewis styling session or something similar.

It will help you figure out outfits/ colours that suit you - actually you don’t even have to buy anything, just try on some recommendations, take a photo of the outfits you like and then try to find similar items cheaper somewhere else. They will give you some tips on what works for your figure/colouring.

I think the black is too harsh on your skin - I am quite pale, and if I wear black I look like death warmed up, it’s way too harsh on me. So I stick to Navy, soft greys and creams for my basics.

As a previous poster said, it’s also about hair, skin, posture etc. Maybe look into getting a haircut to give you a bit of a boost.