My clothes are aging me - please help?

[Nifty50something]

The other day someone mistook me for being over 60 when I'm actually in my early 50s. I asked a good friend about it and she said it's because my clothes are aging me. I've never followed fashion and tend to just wear what's comfortable, shop second hand or from m&s, etc. But I'd like to try to update my look.

I've been wearing:

1. Cropped jeans with zips to make them tapered
2. Black cigarette trousers tapered at the ankle
3. Midi dresses with nice patterns (not flower patterns but more aztec or palm print).

Are any of the above items still ok or are they all frumpy? Any links to things you've bought and love? What are the trends now (I think barrel leg trousers, denim jackets or cropped trench jackets, pink...also waistcoats without a top underneath which I wouldnt wear but could wear one over a top if that would work)?

Nothing wrong with looking 60 but I'm just not there yet and would prefer to look my age!

I feel similar, although I'm only 29 but feel I dress like my 59 year old mum and mother in law!

I recently did a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, it was amazing and would really recommend.
Obviously they stock a lot of in trend pieces but the stylist worked with me on what feels right for me and not what is trending or following rules!

It's a free service with no obligation to buy, I don't have JL budget but can now look for items on Vinted that are similar.

@Divebar2021 loving your ideas. I have no idea how to use chatgbt and have tried to use it for wardrobe analysis but couldn't get the hang of it. I am usually tecsavvy. Any tips or hints on how to learn to use it please?

have a look for ‘over 40’s fashion’ on Pinterest and see if there is a style you like and if there’s anything currently in your wardrobe that would go with it.

I do think you look lovely but the cut of the waistcoat and dress don’t quite go together although it in no way looks bad.

the waistcoat would look nice with a plain white t-shit and jeans and those shoes maybe? Do you like trainers?

I think that dress would be nice with some boots and without the waistcoat and it’s taking away from your lovely figure by covering your waist.

If you can search my threads you’ll find one I started about ChatGPT & style for beginners. I feel like I should give a bit of a warning that in the early days it can be very middle of the road. ( before it gets to know you). I use it less to create whole outfits and more to decide on individual items ( ditch or keep) or to identify what can be off about an outfit.

And I think that goes to show how it's only important to dress for yourself. I am strictly a second hand shopper so claim no fashion knowledge. I think those shoes are old fashioned, clumpy and don't look nice with a dress. I like the print in the dress but it cuts you off at an unflattering point needs to be about 4 or 5 inches longer and a big no to the waistcoat I'm sorry. Why should you listen to me though, if you live it wear it. My outfit for tomorrow is laid out and I saw my partner since. I told him, it looks great I feel great init and you are not coming with me. Please keep your opinion to yourself, don't know my confidence.n

I think it's the shape of the dress rather than the print. Simple updates ro tour wardrobe could be wide leg trousers, more relaxed dresses, chunky sandals. Cool shirts. The waistcoat would look nice with nothing under it and paid with loose trousers. Some ideas below:

Thank you so much for all the advice. I really love the honesty on here. And I'm very drawn to some of the links especially the recommendations for Kate Barton, Olive, the H&M links, and wearsmymoney and Janine Jacobs. I also love the idea of photographing my outfits daily- I will definitely try that. I'm going to be rereading this thread many times so I can take it all in.

My plan right now is to go through all my clothes and bag up the ones that don't look right anymore and stick them up in the loft. Part of the problem is I struggle to get rid of clothes so I have tons and tons of stuff from past seasons and it's really hard to see the hidden gems I do also have. Once I've done that I'll go through what's left and try to make up some outfits similar to what the instagram women are wearing at the moment. Then I'll see what gaps I have and go shopping, probably Uniqlo. I definitely need trousers as I don't have a single pair that's acceptable. But I do think I have some nice dresses, shirts and tops that will fit the current aesthetic pretty well.

Palava is exactly what I was just thinking of! And there’s lots of styling on the website, @Nifty50something, showing the dresses with their own cardigans, or the trousers with the jackets etc. I don’t know how much there is of it pre-owned but it’s worth looking out for.

@Sunholidays, how long would one of those H&M dresses last, though? I mean as something you could wear out in public. My recent experience with very cheap viscose - an initially adorable Zara top - has been that after two careful hand washes the colour has faded in patches, and it has entirely lost its shape. I wasn’t expecting much … Essentially, even on a low budget I’d encourage the OP to look for the best quality she can possibly access (new or pre-owned) so she isn’t constantly having to replace.

Wear what you like, don’t change your style just because of one persons comments.

I wear a mixture of old and new, I like bold prints, bright colours but also have days where I just want to blend. I can’t afford to shop at most of the shops mentioned. My favourite jeans at the moment are wide leg jeans from Next, partly because they do petite and I’m short. I also still wear skinny jeans as I consider my legs to be my best part. Wide leg jeans tend to make me look even shorter but they are comfortable.

I think looking younger isn’t just about your clothes, your hair, skin and what you wear on your feet makes a huge difference too.

I struggle with summer now I’m getting older as I want more leg cover but finding a dress that fits nicely and doesn’t make me look old is tricky.

I concur with CapaciousHag. I'll be 66 in a few days and I wouldn't wear any of your stuff.

I regularly get mocked on here for my choices but in real life there isn't a week goes by without a colleague or random stranger complimenting me on what I'm wearing. Not blowing my own trumpet (well maybe a little) but the trainees think I'm awesome.

Other brands which are more "look at me" rather than just in fashion

Klements
Klements
Palava
Palava
Colenimo
Colenimo

There's also Casey Casey and Egg but they are very pricey and Eponine and Cabbages & Roses but they are now made to order only.

I’m glad you’ve got an idea of what you’re looking for @Nifty50something. From your photo, my only constructive comment would be to say that black looks very heavy against your skin tone.

Slightly less constructively…the shoes. They instantly reminded me of those worn by the sort of galumphing, abrasive nun in Call The Midwife. If you love them then that’s all that matters but I think you can do better.

Uniqlo is great for up to date but affordable looks. Plus, they show normal people wearing things so you can see what to put items with.

My 20 year old would wear your shoes. It's not an age thing.

What about this type of dress? Not too different in shape from the one in your photo but more current looking.

Linen Blend Relaxed Dress (Short Sleeve)
https://www.uniqlo.com/uk/en/products/E477619-000/00?colorDisplayCode=69&sizeDisplayCode=003&pldDisplayCode=000&utm_medium=social&utm_source=appshare

Thanks for reminding me about Kate Barton.

Honestly that’s pretty frumpy, the shoes are way to clumpy with it, the waist coat really doesn’t add anything to it either

This thread is great. I've lost my way with clothes too, for me it's twofold: I don't have the vision to put stylish outfits together (even though I have a great eye for interiors) and I'm overweight, so some of the amazing sounding ideas on this thread so far wouldn't work for me.

I'm following the links, and am very inspired by the 'just buy one or two items' thinking.

OP, a few shops give you a voucher to spend if you give them a bag of old clothes (or sometimes just textiles).
Do you think that would help you mentally if you struggle to throw stuff away? That way you aren't binning it but swapping it (albeit with extra money) for nice new stuff!
Swap old clothes for money off vouchers - Be Clever With Your Cash

If you struggle to chuck stuff away get someone to help you - family member or your honest friend! Tell them to be absolutely ruthless. Chuck anything that's a bit bobbly or stretched - don't get into the trap of thinking 'I'll just wear it in the garden/to slub around in at home,' because you'll end up always defaulting to the easy, comfy option!

While some things might come back into trend again, realistically will you be the same size or stage in your life to wear them, and will they be in good enough condition in 10 years?

If you're bagging up clothes, donate them to a charity shop instead so they can be used by someone else. Storing them in the loft will make them go musty & disintegrate and then eventually have to be thrown away.

I'm 61 but don't look it; people usually estimate me as 45-50 and I think a lot of that is down to how I dress. My style is probably arty; long dresses, layered, I wear a lot of pinafores with striped tops, always lace-up leather boots, big scarf, slouchy bag.

You need to find your own way really - arty may not be your style, but these are my basics:
Wide leg linen blend trousers from Marks, I couldn't be without. In winter I wear leggings under them.
Jeans, Marks again or Fat Face, always bootcut and either black or dark Indigo.

Seasalt striped Sailor shirts are fab with jeans.
Sleeveless linen dresses from Fat Face or Seasalt worn over a plain or stripey t shirt.
Toast checked dresses with a cardi and boots, scarf and big bag.

If you have good basics; Jeans, a few t.shirts, a couple of cardis and dresses; maybe one checked dress and a linen or denim one, they will serve you well.

Colour palette can also help. Pastels can be quite ageing and grannyish, so try to aim for neutrals or strong dark colours.

Adding the right accessories can make all the difference.

You should do what I did…

Bundled up all of my clothes and took them to the charity shop. This is after I went to Uniqlo and bought the following capsule wardrobe:

2 x trousers
4 x tops
1 x jacket
1 x cardigan
1 x dress
1 x bag.

I even chucked out my old knickers and bought new ones (again, Uniqlo) and invested in a couple of fitted bras.

Cost me a couple of hundred quid. Well worth it and I recommend it as a start. Then just keep adding from other shops.

Also new trainers, Adidas Originals or Hoka. Or, if you’re feeling flush, Air & Grace.

And stay away from charity shops!

You say Capri leggings, I say pedal pushers.

Really, are denim jackets 'in'? I truly think they're awful! I wore them years ago and they always felt to stiff and uncomfortable.

CapaciousHag

You've piqued my interest! Could you show us a few of your outfits, or at least some images an outfit that you would wear?

Embrace Vinted. Sell anything that is obsolete but still good condition and charity shop the rest. Look for good brands on Vinted, be choosy with sellers and items.

You are far too young to surrender yourself to the frump.

Check out https://youtube.com/@marieannelecoeur - she has some great advice