Impossible work wear rules

[HereKittyKitty6]

New role and dress code is conflicting! No low necks, no open toes, smart enough to work in council offices but also ‘relaxed’ enough to meet with homeless folk (some on street so plenty of walking). Have been told I look too expensive (?!). My style is quite classic and I struggle with non natural / soft fabrics.
Im pear shaped 10 (have recently developed the love handles so I do seem to look strangely curvy not nice curvy now!), petite 5ft 2, and shoes without a strap just fall off!
So far I have wide legged jersey trousers in navy, black paper bag tapered trousers, and a light cream cashmere cardigan. It’s cold/hot I’m really struggling here! Thinking of budget high street maybe? Please help!

I’d leave a few bits at work or in my car to change it up or down depending where you are. E.g converse style (sainsburys have nice ones) when out and smart shoes at work.
smart cardigan or relaxed jacket at work in a neutral colour and more relaxed stuff for the outside work.

I’m a civil servant, I wear wide leg trousers & a tshirt or wrap dresses (always trainers)

Smartish trousers - linen, chinos, cords
long/short sleeve t shirts in a variety of colours with appropriate neck line

Cardigan/casual jacket and trainers/converse/rocket dogs for outside work

Blazer and loafers/pumps for work meetings

You could also do summer dress/denim jacket/smart jacket

Leggings, tunic top, boots in winter

I’m in a role that have similar different needs, I have a jacket (corduroy type material) hanging up and tend to wear jersey dresses and M&S washable cardigans sat at my desk, I often am dealing with vulnerable people including those living in shelters, I don’t wear diamonds except my engagement ring, I have silver earrings and cross necklace. Leave the cashmere and ticks for leisure time. If I go out with the street pastors I have a hoodie

Kettlewell do a big range of simple tops/t-shirts, in an even bigger range of colours. They aren’t the cheapest but they’re not hopelessly expensive either. I find them great in this lovely weather but also good under jumpers, cardigans, jackets & blazers. They do some cotton and some in man made fibres and I think they look good on, much more expensive than they actually are and are very versatile so could work in your office and outside.

www.kettlewellcolours.co.uk/category/clothing/all-tops/t-shirts

In fairness, who can really tell diamonds from cheap cubic thingy? They’ll be a lot of homeless with studs, rings etc in all sorts of places 😳in there multitudes, and some of those will be glittery stones …

that really isn’t the issue…if she had multitude of earrings and lobe clips no one would think it was classy 🤣🤣🙄

the op is wearing middle/upper class image in terms of “ classic” look, and it’s a class issue. She is giving overall impression of wealth because it’s not fashionable scruff look.

Hmm …
I’m not sure any workplace should be telling you that you look “too expensive” if you are dressed smartly and appropriately.
who can really tell the difference between. real diamond jewellery and cubic zirconia anyway ?

If I was homeless I would feel very patronised if someone was to dress down to meet me and would prefer to think I was dealing with someone who looked professional and capable of helping me .
i would add trainers and a backpack to what you wear and think that it was fine .
I am sure homeless people have more pressing issues than what the person supporting them is wearing .

Will you be lone working, @HereKittyKitty6 ?

When I worked in homelessness prevention and resettlement, we were very much discouraged from wearing any jewellery that was "grabbable". It wasn't forbidden or anything, but it was always pointed out that it was a potential risk.

We also found that it was easier to get clients to engage with us if we didn't look too "smart". They seemed to associate "smart" with "official" and many clients had little faith with "officials".

And we often had to meet them in settings that weren't very clean, so stuff needed to be washable. We mostly wore jeans or casual trousers, t-shirts or cotton tops, casual jackets/knitwear. And always flat shoes: you never know how far away you might need to park!

To me it sounds a tough dress code. It sounds like they want you to be casual for the streets and smart for the office.

I know of someone in a similar role who was told not to be too dressed up - and that jeans and trainers were fine. Equally I've worked somewhere similar that had a no jeans rule, but otherwise didn't care whether you dressed down or went full twinset n pearls.

Also perhaps you are a naturally smart looking person? - I look a scruff whatever I try wearing.

Do you have to hot-desk and/or do you have access to a locker at work?

A cropped jacket (linen for summer, wool for winter) and neck scarf will smarten up just about any outfit. Try to find a brand that does petite styles - plenty do.
If you want something a bit smaller/quicker to pop on, try a handiband (I'm pretty certain I've seen them in White Stuff and Fat Face as well as Seasalt) - scroll through a few of the colours to see how to wear them:
https://www.seasaltcornwall.com/handyband-printed-cotton-headband?

You can dress down for the "street" by swapping it for a fleece jacket or hoodie. Keep everything plain apart from accessories.

Have a look at these T shirts (and the women's section generally). If you are busty, a boat neck or V neck would suit you better: https://uk.muji.eu/women/clothing/tops-and-tshirts

These days I spend most of my life in ankle boots or leather trainers. DD has an assortment of DMs, which are comfy for walking in.

What you described you are wearing sounds perfect, if they want you to buy a whole new wardrobe they should be giving you a budget, ignore them and if they continue go to HR

It’s not tough. They’re telling OP her diamond jewellery and cashmere cardigans are not suitable for her current role

Seriously

Wear a pair of cheap black pants, bobbly cardigan and flat, closed toe shoes that people wear in kitchens

That'll do

I worked in probation, I guess the attire needs to be similar

I’m not sure what is impossible about these rules?

What I wear every day fits into them even though I don’t have any work wear rules and don’t put much thought into what I wear every day.

You can literally wear any pair of trousers (there are a lot of cotton ones in the shops at the moment), a relaxed cotton shirt or high quality tshirt. I have loads of thick white T-shirts from Zara, M&S etc that are my go to. Any jacket, cardigan or sweater. Again, M&S or Zara are good for these so you keep it high street and don’t look too formal. And any shoes.

Dont wear jewellery and buy a simple bag.

Diamonds, pale cashmere and a baby blue leather satchel aren’t even close to ‘perfect’ for a job dealing with homeless people on the street. Hence why her employers have specifically told her that her clothes are inappropriate.

Also, no job with a dress code (rather than an actual uniform) pays for clothes.

She is already not fitting in in a new job. Going to HR because she’s had to be told something that should be blatantly obvious to someone in her line of work really won’t help.

Well they need to be more specific. eg Jeans are ok, or dress casual.

I wouldn't want to have to have a pair of shoes for the office and a bag with my trainers in for being out on a daily basis at work.

And sure she could swap a cashmere cardigan for a cotton one but is that really going to make a difference?

Ppl I know doing similar roles have either worn jeans or old chinos.

Slash neck plain tops, trousers or dark jeans and a long cardigan. I wear sketchers slip on pumps. I have to work with vulnerable people and they respond better to us, dressed more casually. The suit can scare them, and make us seem unapproachable.

She is working with homeless people so yes, I’d say it’ll make a huge difference.

https://www.hollisterco.com/shop/uk/p/hollister-livvy-ultra-high-rise-linen-blend-wide-leg-pants-59027823-1005?categoryId=166330&faceout=model&seq=01

Try these trousers. I wouldn’t normally shop in Hollister but my DD bought a pair and I fell in love with them. Between me and my DD we now have a pair in every colour.

They look and feel like smart/casual linen trousers but because they are a blend they don’t crease. They do a short length too which would be good for you.

I second this. All natural not too thick materials not too smart not too causal

In my experience, organisations only go to a ‘more specific’ dress code when they are trying to work around someone rules-lawyering their outfit (and they aren’t willing to speak to the actual culprit).

The OP really doesn’t want to get a reputation as needing that sort of micromanagement to understand the unspoken requirements of her job.

Apart from Uniqlo, which I highly recommend, also try The Set at Next:

https://www.next.co.uk/shop/gender-women-brand-theset-0

Thats stupid.

I dont think homeless people care what you are dressed like.

They care if you are kind and if you help them.

I agree about long sleeves in warm weather. I'm usually in cotton or linen, covered up. Much cooler than sun beating down on bare skin, and the resulting patches of sunburn!
And yet people in stretchy vests continue to express incredulity at what I'm wearing.