Impossible work wear rules

[HereKittyKitty6]

New role and dress code is conflicting! No low necks, no open toes, smart enough to work in council offices but also ‘relaxed’ enough to meet with homeless folk (some on street so plenty of walking). Have been told I look too expensive (?!). My style is quite classic and I struggle with non natural / soft fabrics.
Im pear shaped 10 (have recently developed the love handles so I do seem to look strangely curvy not nice curvy now!), petite 5ft 2, and shoes without a strap just fall off!
So far I have wide legged jersey trousers in navy, black paper bag tapered trousers, and a light cream cashmere cardigan. It’s cold/hot I’m really struggling here! Thinking of budget high street maybe? Please help!

They should give you a budget if they’re that prescriptive!

What about Uniqlo merino tops and cardigans? Layer with different coloured T-shirts.

Are you allowed to wear trainers?

I wear men’s cotton jumpers from M&S. I’m your height and size, M fits quite loosely on me which I like, you could try a S. they’re a classic crew neck, great value, and 100% cotton.

Light coloured cashmere will look expensive.

Are you wearing expensive looking accessories? What handbag do you wear? You could try Uniqlo for a versatile, plain option that would be classic enough for your style but not classic classic as in leather with metal hardware type of thing.

What are your colleagues wearing? Follow their lead.

We don't have a dress code but a lot of us wear fitted teeshirts and cardigans over whatever trousers suit us, plus loafers or similar. I wear Birkenstock clogs a lot of the time but maybe they are too casual for your dress code. Our office suffers from extremes of temperature so layers are necessary. Sainsburys might be worth looking at.

You don’t ‘have’ to wear cashmere though do you? It’s really not ‘impossible’.

@SisterTeatime ill ask about trainers! Although I haven’t seen anyone in the office wear them. I’m the only person who spends their time half in the office in formal meetings and half out on the streets-I don’t know in advance where I’ll be on the day.
Social workers wear shorts and T-shirts; other colleagues wear suit jackets/co-ord suits.
I always wear very simple small diamond pendant necklace, and earrings, wedding band is plain. I use a very old leather satchel that is quite beautiful (pale blue) so will change that.
Was hoping for specific links ideally…

I work in a similar environment - we too have a no low neck rule. I hate synthetic fabrics too but I can see why people wear them because they're so easy to buy and wash. I tend to wear the black trousers / pretty blouse combo - boring but easy. Next is good.

It sounds to me like your colleagues have a problem rather than the homeless people you’re meeting, which just smacks of jealously and reverse snobbery.

I would try adding some more casual items: trainers, a casual type jacket, a t shirt type top rather than a cashmere jumper. Or a cotton knit jumper now it's going into summer. Not all at once, but to "dress down" your outfit and make you look a bit more approachable.

I wouldn't worry about looking casual at meetings, it will remind people your role is more hands on.

Can you really not see that diamond necklace and earrings, a beautiful leather bag and cashmere cardi are Waaaaaay off the mark for meeting homeless clients?

Tone it RIGHT down op. If you really can't grasp this concept, I wonder what else you're missing from your professional attitude.

This just sounds like smart casual?

I’d wear a T-shirt, collared cardigan, the trousers you have and if not allowed trainers loafers or Mary Janes, Dark jeans could work too.

In that case your boss or whoever is giving you a hard time needs to decide which “face” is more important. Is it more important to dress for clients or dress for colleagues? I’d say the priority is making sure you’re suitable for work on the streets so your colleagues may have to suck up the sight of trainers. Is this your first outreach style job?

"No open toes" still leaves you with a very wide choice of shoe styles, including shoes with straps or laces.

And stop wearing diamonds. That one is easy. 🙄

M and S t shirt, plain trousers and cardigan or inexpensive plain jacket
Plain shoes - lace up or slip on also M and S
No jewellery apart from wedding band
Non leather back pack or handbag

Even for formal meetings with clients (mine are B2B not members of the public) have gone very much smart casual post-covid, dark jeans, smart tee shirts etc. Trainers totally normal, no one sees your feet in a meeting.

Natural fabrics don’t have to be expensive.

Ditch the diamonds, cashmere and leather. Apart from anything else, taking a pale blue bag out and about in the sort of job you are describing is asking for damage.

Canvas bag / rucksack when out of the office, no necklace, more toned down earrings, cotton jumper not cashmere, sensible shoes.

I’m not actually clear on what shoes you are wearing? You can get flat closed toe leather shoes from most shoe shops. They aren’t pretty but they fit the rules you have given.

To be honest, that dress code sounds fairly easy.

Edited to say: I suspect it’s the combination of items that is coming across as overdressed - cashmere plus diamonds plus ‘beautiful pale blue leather bag’. You might get away with one but not all of them.

Uniqlo is a good shout for decent quality, plain co-ordinates that can be worn in and office and out and about.

Smart trainers seem the obvious choice for footwear.

Replace the bag with something plainer and canvas.

Trousers, T-shirts and cotton/merino jumper or cardi sound fine. If the earrings are small I wouldn't worry too much - they could be high st costume jewellery if anyone asks.

My friend works for a charity doing outreach with disadvantaged families and she wears jeans with T shirts and trainers.

I would definitely stop wearing diamonds and cashmere!

No open toes is just common sense and good health and safety given the environment you are walking around in.

In your situation I would establish a uniform for myself. In winter it would be boots, cargos or chinos with jumper and jacket/gillet. In summer it would be lace up brogues or plain navy lace up trainers, chinos or 3/4 length cotton trousers, polo shirt (unbranded) and cotton jumper/cardigan. I would carry a backpack not handbag.

This is not that hard OP. The trousers are fine. I’d go with smart trainers (so not ones for running, in a fairly neutral colour rather that fluorescent day glo ones) or leather loafers/brogues. Pick something with enough tread that you can cope with wet slippy streets. No heels or only very low block heels you can walk for miles in. Boots or ankle boots would work well in winter. Trousers - the ones you have sound fine. If jeans are not specifically forbidden a dark wash jean (no holes!) would be great too. Make sure the wide legs don’t get soaked in the rain if you’re outside a lot. I’d go with soft shirts in cotton or viscose or honestly silk would be fine if the overall look is understated and you prefer having 3 silks shirts instead of 8 viscose ones. Printed shirts are easier to wear than block colours - they are more forgiving on any marks and look smarter than stained block colours but less smart than pristine new block colours. Then a jumper/cardigan when needed. Wool or cashmere is fine but pick more muted colours to avoid looking too expensive. Uniqlo has great reasonably priced wool jumpers. The thin merino ones are cheap and good for layering. Pick tops with fairly close fitting wrists - it stops them getting dirty by dragging on things. Add a thin raincoat when needed in warmer months and a thicker warm but waterproof coat in winter. When it’s properly hot you could have smartish short sleeved tops instead of buttoned blouses. Ditch the diamonds. Buy some plain stud earrings if you want something in your ears at work.
It’s not actually that difficult a dress code. Teachers in a high school generally wear similar stuff - smart but not suit level smart, nothing low cut, short skirted or that could ride up at the waist. Personally I’d skip any fake nails and do no or minimal makeup. You’ll look smart without looking like you can’t spend the afternoon talking to clients out in the city.

Can you keep a few more casual tops and comfortable shoes at work to change into?

Have been told I look too expensive (?!). My style is quite classic

The mistake you’re making is thinking your sense of style comes into it here. You’re going to work. Think of it as a uniform.

Can’t you just wear an ordinary cotton shirt/blouse and plain black or navy trousers? (And maybe no diamond necklace?) This isn’t an “impossible” dress code at all.

Are you sure you're in the right job OP, if you think diamonds, leather and cashmere is the appropriate thing to be wearing for visiting homeless people? Can you not see that you'll have zero credibility for being so far removed from their situation?

Smart jersey trousers, a smart tshirt style top and a cardigan/jumper would surely suffice. Keep a smart jacket at the office for meetings just to smarten up for meetings. But surely whoever you are meeting with understands that part of your job involves meeting homeless people - I'm guessing the meetings are related to this.