Need to change my mother of the groom dress helps please

[Dky4]

Been told by my son that the dress I bought is "basically white"
So I have to get a new one in 2 weeks.
Obviously I didn't think it was white or unsuitable when I got it but hey, I don't want conflict and upset.
It suits me so can anyone help me find an alternative in a size 10 please?

Not wearing plain white or ivory, yes. But as background in a pattern, no.

Another one who thinks your original dress is fine- but then my mum wore an all ivory outfit at my wedding and I didn't care. Didn't even occur to me that people might have found it weird until just now actually! She bought it from an actual MOB shop.

Either way, if your son/DIL don't want you to wear it then I agree you shouldn't. You're a lovely MIL!

Oh I don't know, @Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g has a point! You can be hard pressed to identify the groom at a wedding if you don't know him personally! Thank god for buttonholes I say.

It's a beautiful dress and I'm sure you really suit it. My thoughts are it's too 'showy' for a mother of the groom.I would pick something a little less eye catching but still lovely.

I decided after posting my comment to read the dress description. I was amazed to read the words elegant & eye-catching 😂

Just for your information, the bride hasn't said anything at all. It's OP's son who said no. But don't let that get in the way of your prejudice

So? What is the issue? Does he think that people are going to think that he’s marrying his mother?? I don’t get why people are dickish about things like this. It’s highly unlikely that OP will be mistaken for the bride!

There is absolute zero per cent chance this lady's son has instigated this, but don't let that get in the way of her being treated poorly.

“being treated poorly”? That seems a bit histrionic to me. OP seems very nice and reasonable, and not in the least bit offended (if, perhaps, a tad anxious about having to choose something new), but I would hardly say she’s been treated poorly by her DS having a quiet word and communicating his and his fiancé’s wishes.

If you do something to make your mum anxious without good reason in this way then yes, that's poor. They've had months to convey this to her if it was necessary or if there were "special requirements" to what anyone wore. It's not a white dress, everyone knows who the bride is and they're being knobs. They are lucky she is so nice.

It’s not about literally being mistaken for the bride.
It’s a day when the bride traditionally wears a special dress or outfit to reflect marriage being a huge life event.

Guests aren’t supposed to detract from that either by wearing anything remotely bridal or anything that will upstage the bride. So no bridal colours and especially no white lace.

This is an unbridgeable divide, as those who believe this seem unshakeable, but I cannot for the life of me see how anybody can upstage the bride on her wedding day. Even if she turned up in a binbag, surely she and the groom are the centre of attention?

Well one can only assume that they did not see the dress until more recently as opposed to having sat on it and not said anything… you’d hope anyway! Unfortunately white/ivory (certainly lace appliqués) is something to be avoided at a wedding unless you’re the bride. Regardless of what any of us here might think personally, that is a pretty well-established guideline/tradition. OP seems very rational about the request.

This is Style and Beauty. The OP could not have been clearer in her request. It feels like it's turning into AIBU...

That's gorgeous op, I'd wear it.

To everyone saying "How daft, there's no way you'll be mistaken for the Bride" 🙄 it's really not just about that. It's also also balancing white and very pale colours on photographs. It's just not going to look right. I didn't realise it was an issue but my friend who's a photographer showed me examples of photos and how it spoils them if someone else at the front of photos has lots of white, ivory or pale. It's not just all about Bridezillas!

Well that’s the point. If the bride chose a black bin bag and a guest chose a dress in shiney black material it would be just as bad mannered.

Sorry yes. Style and Beauty …as you were.

I agree, I love it, but I am under the impression that @Dky4 is looking for something shorter?

This looks the most similar without any hints of white.

It's exactly about being a Bridezilla if you care more about your photos than your guests not being stressed out at the last minute by some weird rule you've made against pale outfits 🤷🏻‍♀️