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Original poster

Need to change my mother of the groom dress helps please

145 replies

Dky4 · 10/05/2025 19:15

Been told by my son that the dress I bought is "basically white"
So I have to get a new one in 2 weeks.
Obviously I didn't think it was white or unsuitable when I got it but hey, I don't want conflict and upset.
It suits me so can anyone help me find an alternative in a size 10 please?

OP posts:
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18
Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 11/05/2025 12:50

DontReplyIWillLie · 11/05/2025 12:18

Well to be fair, I’d want to be the main character at my own wedding!

Yes, but how can you not be the main characters at your own wedding? The groom will probably be dressed identically to several other members of the wedding party - does anybody get in a tizz about that?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 11/05/2025 12:51

This sort of thing always reminds me my favourite Derry Girls episode, actually. Anybody who's seen it will know which one I mean. Now there, I do concede, there were grounds for complaint. Grin

DontReplyIWillLie · 11/05/2025 12:53

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 11/05/2025 12:50

Yes, but how can you not be the main characters at your own wedding? The groom will probably be dressed identically to several other members of the wedding party - does anybody get in a tizz about that?

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Come on - let’s not be silly and pretend that’s remotely the same.

DancingNotDrowning · 11/05/2025 13:02

Rollergirl11 · 11/05/2025 10:44

They are being suggested because they are in keeping with the OP’s original dress, that she was happy with, and said suited her.

The dresses I linked wouldn’t be my preference or style either.. But this thread is not about what I would wear to a wedding or what I think the OP should wear, not knowing her from adam. It is offering alternative dresses based on the brief, which is her original dress.

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The dress you suggested is not remotely like the dress the OP has bought 🤷‍♀️

pinkyredrose · 11/05/2025 13:07

That dress is lovely! No reason why you can't wear it. I take it your son will be paying for another dress if he wants you to have another one?

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 11/05/2025 13:08

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 11/05/2025 12:51

This sort of thing always reminds me my favourite Derry Girls episode, actually. Anybody who's seen it will know which one I mean. Now there, I do concede, there were grounds for complaint. Grin

😂 Exacerbated all the more by Sarah walking up the aisle late to ‘Here Comes the Bride’. Great show.

MissyB1 · 11/05/2025 13:16

pinkyredrose · 11/05/2025 13:07

That dress is lovely! No reason why you can't wear it. I take it your son will be paying for another dress if he wants you to have another one?

Good point! If Groom and / or bride are dictating a new dress they should pay!

tangerinemagic · 11/05/2025 13:18

Christwosheds · 10/05/2025 20:37

It’s such a perfect MoG dress, and it’s “mineral” grey with cream overlay, it fits the brief of not being white. It seems bizarrely controlling to ask to see your dress OP. My mil wore a little fitted suit in a sort of creamy golden colour, with a cream hat. She looked very nice . It really wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask her what she intended wearing. That dress will absolutely not have you mistaken for a bride, but annoyingly you probably have to change it now that your son has asked, although I would point out that it’s grey.
I hope you can get the pink one.

Completely agree. Plenty would have been happy just to have a healthy, sober, present and alive Mum there. It is actually on trend for bridesmaids to wear white or cream now, at the request of the bride.

tangerinemagic · 11/05/2025 13:18

Christwosheds · 10/05/2025 20:37

It’s such a perfect MoG dress, and it’s “mineral” grey with cream overlay, it fits the brief of not being white. It seems bizarrely controlling to ask to see your dress OP. My mil wore a little fitted suit in a sort of creamy golden colour, with a cream hat. She looked very nice . It really wouldn’t have occurred to me to ask her what she intended wearing. That dress will absolutely not have you mistaken for a bride, but annoyingly you probably have to change it now that your son has asked, although I would point out that it’s grey.
I hope you can get the pink one.

Completely agree. Plenty would have been happy just to have a healthy, sober, present and alive Mum there. It is actually on trend for bridesmaids to wear white or cream now, at the request of the bride.

tangerinemagic · 11/05/2025 13:41

Flossflower · 10/05/2025 21:50

I do think the dress looks quite bridal. I also think the pink one that someone posted does too.
OP, I really wouldn’t ask the bride what she thinks of the dress. You could be putting her in a difficult position,
When I was choosing a MOB dress, I sent a picture of one I was thinking about to my daughter and she said it was nearly white. It was pale green!! I then got the impression that she just didn’t want me wearing anything pale.

Beggars belief.

tangerinemagic · 11/05/2025 13:49

Rollergirl11 · 11/05/2025 09:49

Love the first one, pistachio colour. Best one so far.

bearsmam · 11/05/2025 15:01

Honestly? Your DIL to be sounds hard work. I don't understand this no wearing white to a wedding nonsense, everyone there should know who the bride is. If it was floor length and you had a veil on I'd understand it'd look a but odd but I think she's being a knob.

Grammarnut · 11/05/2025 15:21

My DS's MiL wore a white/very pale cream suit to the wedding. The only comment made by DS or by ex-DiL was that her mum was wearing white so I probably shouldn't (I wouldn't anyway, it would have washed me out!). Tell DS you will have another dress if he pays for it but it will be similar to the one you have already carefully chosen. I.e. tell him to MHOB.

user1497787065 · 11/05/2025 16:05

This is a perfectly normal wedding guest dress in pale blue with white. There is no way you are going to be mistaken for the bride or are likely to upstage her. These ‘rules’ regarding wedding attire are becoming ridiculous.

Kaisawheel · 11/05/2025 18:36

Such a shame OP, it’s a lovely dress (I actually tried to get my mother to have this dress when I was getting married 😊)

Boutonnière · 11/05/2025 21:33

It’s light grey ( they call it mineral) with an ivory tape design over - it reminds me so much of a lace shift dress that my mother wore to my brother’s wedding, which was so elegant. I go by the ‘don’t wear white’ tradition but this is not even approaching that.

Kesie · 11/05/2025 22:00

SummaLuvin · 10/05/2025 20:07

I'm pretty baffled by most people saying they think it's fine, it's clearly in a bridal shade. Might not be a pure white, but given bright white is not flattering on most skin tones, I don't think I've been to a single wedding where the bride hasn't worn a cream/ivory/off-white. The decoration is also fairly evocative of some bridal gowns, certainly when seated (and you can't see the length) this will look bridal IMO.

Edited

Yes I agree. It looks bride-like to me - I'd avoid lace or anything that looks a bit white-like.

notatinydancer · 12/05/2025 08:59

Snugglemonkey · 10/05/2025 21:35

That looks pretty bridal!

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More bridal than the original

Sgreenpy · 12/05/2025 10:25

It's a lovely dress.
Perhaps you can contrast it with darker accessories, or a colour like silver or aubergine.
Just wear it!
I got married in a silver wedding dress and my sister in law (who actually came with me to buy said dress) also bought and wore a silver dress!

MrsClatterbuck · 12/05/2025 10:35

I think it's fine especially if you have bright accessories. However looks like you will have to get something else to keep relations good. Where I am I have seen on Facebook so many MOB wearing white or ivory outfits that it seems to be a thing and I mean head to toe. One Mob that I saw I actually thought she was the bride. She was wearing a long white dress which definitely looked bridal.

LadeOde · 12/05/2025 10:43

I don't get all the fuss about not wearing anything remotely white to someone else's wedding but I'm from a different culture. No guest no matter how white their outfit is, will be mistaken for the bride or does @OP's DS think she will be mistaken for his bride? can someone please explain it to me, so i understand what to do in the proverbial 'Rome'.

Comefromaway · 12/05/2025 10:52

That's not white, it's grey with whitepatterning.

shewasasaint · 12/05/2025 11:18

LadeOde · 12/05/2025 10:43

I don't get all the fuss about not wearing anything remotely white to someone else's wedding but I'm from a different culture. No guest no matter how white their outfit is, will be mistaken for the bride or does @OP's DS think she will be mistaken for his bride? can someone please explain it to me, so i understand what to do in the proverbial 'Rome'.

A lot of us don't understand it either. The OP's dress looks very smart and appropriate to me, but of course she has to change it for the sake of good relations with her DIL.

Dresses with a floral pattern on a white background always seemed very suitable for a summer wedding but apparently not now.

DefinitelyMaybe92 · 12/05/2025 11:24

shewasasaint · 12/05/2025 11:18

A lot of us don't understand it either. The OP's dress looks very smart and appropriate to me, but of course she has to change it for the sake of good relations with her DIL.

Dresses with a floral pattern on a white background always seemed very suitable for a summer wedding but apparently not now.

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I’ve seen a few comments like this of people saying “not these days” or “not now” and although I personally wouldn’t mind the dress, you surely can’t deny that not wearing white/ivory is a very well-established tradition.