Proposing a new rule on S&B

[CertainUncertain]

(lighthearted)

If someone posts something or asks for an opinion, and you come on to criticise, diss, be unpleasant, or call it cheap, frumpy or old-fashioned, you should have to post something you like, so other posters can judge your credibility.

And no saying ‘Just wear what you want’ when someone has literally just asked for advice on what to wear.

Or I just slap on Nivea blue and I’m good

you should have to post something you like, so other posters can judge your credibility

That won't work. Just because someone has questionable taste in their own wardrobe selection does not make their judgement of an OP's choice wide of the mark.

S & B is bit like AIBU - if you ask for opinions, you'll get them, so as my dear dead dad would say: think on.

Well, if I'm asking for opinions on a piece of clothing, I do want to know if it looks cheap, frumpy or old fashioned. However, it would be helpful if people could say why they think it looks cheap, etc, to help someone judge. It's not helpful to just pop up and go "Ugh, ghastly, darling" or "you can do better".

Well that depends....what if they post 'I'd love to wear x item of clothing but worry I'm too
Old/fat/ugly/ginger. Then the answer will always be wear what you want!

I agree with the first point though. I've seen some truly hideous 'fashionable' choices suggested on here (from people whose opinions are obviously the complete opposite of mine!).

I struggle with S&B a bit for this reason - we’re asking for advice from people we have never met or seen who might have totally different style to us and whose clothes IRL we might absolutely hate! I’ve read some stuff on here and seen photos of things I wouldn’t be seen dead in - how can any of us know? But I do really hate the ones who are really patronising (& I assume they come from the ‘trending’ section and they aren’t actually in S&B) with the whole ‘why do you care, wear what you want’ vibe - if someone is asking the question, they clearly DO care, so fuck off with your ‘I’m too cerebral for this nonsense’ tone!

There are only a handful of people on this board I’d take advice from, but really I think that, if you’re going to ask a bunch of Internet strangers for ‘honest opinions’, then arsey comments are part of the deal. However…

1. Instant ban for arsey comments when they haven’t even bothered to check if someone’s already made the exact same ‘joke’.

2. ‘This board is called ‘Style and Beauty’, not fashion’ - one week suspension for repetition and doubled if you argued back.

3. ‘That would only work if you’re tall, thin and 18’ - life ban.

Posters should be honest and respectful. Eg, not You’re far too podgy for that dress, but A straight sleeveless shift doesn’t suit a curvy body
but the colours good on you. Is there a wrap over dress in similar fabric?

Oh, I agree about asking strangers and needing to be ready for what you get, and I agree, @Communitywebbing that people should find a way to state opinions without being rude.

I just find it amusing when people state something is hideous or completely out of fashion with absolute confidence, when the OP has posted, for argument's sake, an Erdem, and the poster's idea of perfection is Shein.

Or when someone's taste is slightly off-piste, but certainly not way out there, like the OP in the thread about the Self Portrait dress, and the responders are falling over themselves with witty put downs. It does make me want to see what they consider a better option.

You've clearly been captured by the face cream industrial complex. I'm 82 and use a smear of fat left from the Christmas goose and was mistaken for a 12 year old last week in Tesco.

People are asking for opinion. If a poster’s opinion is that something is frumpy or cheap , they can give that opinion.

It depends, if someone has asked for an opinion then it's fair people are honest. If they post in search of an item or give a criteria they want help to find then agree it's irritating when people wade in to say how much they hate it when it's not been asked. The most annoying though is when people post about it being a waste of money and that there are people who can't afford to eat.

I kind of agree with everything except the Nivea blue comment. My skin is really good after simplifying my skin care.

Oh and while I’m here, the ‘How old do you think I am threads’ - yeah yeah I know we don’t have to open them, but we do, don’t we? So I propose that these can only be accessed by entering a code that you have to apply for in triplicate from MNHQ.

Some posters seem to have "I'd never wear that, you can do better" programmed into their auto-complete.

When I'm queen of the world, everyone will be allowed a quota of opinionated responses they can post on social media - maybe one a week. Any more than that and you pay a terrible penalty (tbd).

They're irresistible. Like crisps. You know they're bad for you (and everyone dipping their hand in that bag), but...

To be fair I think blue pot Nivea is pretty decent so I'd only sanction celebs who swear they never use anything else (apart from Joan Collins who can say whatever she likes).

Can we also ban anyone who suggests a wrap dress when the OP says she has large boobs? They are the utter worst for anyone who is not going for the Bet Lynch look.

Can we also ban 'What a waste of money, I would never spend that much money on a x (handbag), you can get one from Primark for £10'

I do slightly feel that anyone whose last experience of buying a dress was in 1987, from Debenhams, for a wedding, should be delivered a brief electric shock if they attempt to guide a poster’s dress shopping …

And, if a poster comes with £1000 that she’s longing to spend on a special frock - it’s fine to say she might find the perfect thing for £600. But offering something costing £72 brand new from a store is not ok.

Please stop using ginger as a slur

Back to my Nivea blue comment

my DM genuinely did use Nivea blue for years and has lovely skin. Currently uses Nivea soft.

my skin however is very sensitive and temperamental and can’t tolerate Nivea blue or many other creams and face care items. So those comments make me want to scream.

Feel I should amend what I said above as it might suggest that I think it’s age that is a barrier to stylishness. I don’t! But a determined refusal to embrace contemporary style (at any age) is a bit of a barrier to giving informed advice.

Yes! Love these rules. I’ve had a purchase described as “vile” before which is a bit much for clothes.
I also remember one time asking for help finding a boho floaty maxi and someone suggesting a knee length shift dress as that’s what she wore in the summer.

Rule: if you don’t have anything nice (or constructive) to say, say nothing.
Rule: stay on topic