DD (10) has upper lip hair

[Cat3rpillar]

Can't bring myself to call it a moustache but that's what it is. She's becoming understandably very self conscious about it and is wanting to do something about it but I don't know how to go about it most effectively. It's very fine but dark hair that sometimes you can't see at all depending on the light.

Is it going to get worse as she enters puberty?

I use the dermaplaning/Japanese brow blades. They're safe, discreet and I started using them after skincare guru Caroline Hirons said that she had shaved her 'tache since early teens, and had not suffered an increase in hair (over and above the changes that you experience with hormonal fluctuations - I have more chin hairs since menopause, but I just shave them off now and deal with the more poky ones with tweezers).

Having tried the creams/wax/threading options for years, this is by far the best and easiest method for me. If the mood takes me, I can run the blades over my jawline and cheeks to remove fuzz as well, and that generates quite a nice smooth and glowy finish for my make-up.

Electrolysis is the only permanent method, however, its effectiveness is technician-dependent. The number of unskilled technicians is very high (sadly).

Some people have success with laser, however, it has risks; I wouldn't risk it but YMMV.

Feel free to DM to discuss more. Happy to steer you in the right direction.

I mean that ten is too young for her to be expected to have to deal with this. She's still at primary school. She shouldn't have to deal with grown-up grooming stuff yet. Periods at that age were more than enough.

In terms of removal, I have a Lumea that I use between my brows and on my bodu. It's the least skin-destroying and painful of the hair removal methods that I've tried and reduces the shave frequency to monthly. Shaving was made by satan to give me infected hair follicles and nicks.

See a dermatologist or an electrologist. It can be permanently removed.😀

see

Im half Indian and this is very normal for brown people. I had the same problem and wouldn’t say I was bullied but had comments made which stung. I would just show her how to use veet cream. And when she is an appropriate age just buy her a Philips lumea. I have used one for years and my body hair is pretty much gone.

My mum really held off allowing me to groom and I really don’t know what that acheived tbh

Get it threaded for now. Then look into lasering later. Don't bleach it. It's obvious.

Whatever way you choose to remove - get it removed. She doesn't need that stress during puberty.

And honestly just remember that in some cultures girls are having their eyebrows, upper lip, hands and side burns threaded from the moment it starts to come through. My bestfriend at school was Indian, her Mum knew how to thread and she'd get it done quickly while watching Coronation Street - in the same way my Mum might sit and detangle my hair - it was a non-event.

It was so normalised for my friend that I never saw her with any facial hair. All her cousins, aunties etc would turn up at the house to get their facial hair removed so for my friend it was just part and parcel of being a girl - in much the same way as getting your period. She never had anxiety about it and she never hid it.

Attitude towards it is key.

The flawless face thing is fine (I have one) but you need to do it constantly otherwise it comes back as stubble. I'd have it threaded personally.

I think it's really sad that primary-aged girls are having to do this to conform to an artificial grooming standard. It being race-related (sorry, can't think of a better term to mean "brown girls do this more and at a younger age than white girls") amplifies my feeling of sadness.

It's like the message to little girls is "if you don't have perfectly hairless skin, you are ugly and being ugly means that you are failing as a girl, oh, and brown girls, you're going to have to work extra hard at not failing".

I'm aware that parents helping their daughters remove hair are trying to minimise the scope for bullying and I don't blame parents at all for doing that. I just wish that girls didn't have to choose between hair removal and bullying, especially when so many methods hurt (e.g. waxing) or irritate the skin, cause infected follicles, etc.

I would love for them not to experience this until much older but the reality is that girls of our heritage have hair that stands out more, particularly on their upper lip. It’s not so much about wanting to be hairless but just it not be so obvious

Many of us had parents tell us we were too young, to accept it, it’s normal etc etc but it didn’t help. We stayed self conscious, where teasing was happening, it continued and then removed it in secret risking other problems. I’d rather my child come to me, we find a solution together until old enough for laser. Luckily for them, there’s been significant advances in laser hair removal which I will happily fund for them when old enough to avoid the struggles I experienced

I feel awful but this made me laugh out loud

Waxing is effective but might be too much pain, just a standard veet cream should be good

Try some hair removal cream. Make sure to use the sensitive one (I usually use the one for your bikini area). Leave on 5-10 mins and works a treat. Doesnt grow in thicker either.
It does stink so best doing it on an evening or day in the house so the smell wears off. :)

I would go for threading too

I second dermaplaning
Super easy and quick for her and the growth after is fine, I usually do it once every two weeks and I’m naturally hairy so she will have to do it even less
Maybe when she’s older she can choose to do waxing or laser
Edit: also, threading hurts!

It is sad but I don’t really know what the solution is. I’m brown and I remember being mortified that my mother wouldn’t let me shave my legs which had very dark hair compared to my white peers - all that happened was I wore those hideous clear tights until she finally let me finally do it. Teenage years are when you start getting very self conscious. It is a shame though.

I got a handheld laser hair remover and zapped all this.
You shave (dermaplane) the upper lip, wait 2 weeks for stubble then zap and shave and repeat. Hair will come back finer and then not at all.
https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/gallery/best-laser-hair-removal-devices

is a list, check details as not all can be used on face and body.

I just wish they could invent a device to laser blonde hair though. I have a Lumea which has been amazing (I went from shaving my legs every day to shaving once every couple of months) but I swear it's made some of my facial hair blonde and vellus.