Having facelift surgery in 10 days - support and advice needed

[MerryForever]

HI there,

I'm due to go for surgery on 15th March. Face and neck lift under local anaesthetic. I'm 53, medium weight, would like to be a bit lighter. I've had a horrendous few years personally and it's shown a lot on my face. I'm in a better place now and feel this will give me a boost to restart the 'new me.' I'd love to hear from anyone really as I haven't told many people I'm having it done as it seems so vain. My dd is very supportive though. I don't have a current partner.

Any tips from those who have had similar procedures? Or chats with anyone thinking of getting some work done. Or even haters who will tell me that looks don't matter and I should bin it off.

Thank you for this! I’ve bought some wedge pillows to keep upright on. They haven’t discussed painkillers with me yet - I guess they will on the day?

I’ve been seeing Charles Nduka at Montefiore Hospital but the actual op is with him at the Nuffield. I think it’s okay to share that on here?

Blimey - you sound like a text book. Me and dd are super close and yes she does look like me but she doesn’t have saggy jowls yet! she may or may not want to have surgery when she gets to my age. She does exist in the actual real world where loads of her friends already have treatments and probably their mums! She can make her own mind up.

I hope I won’t be butchering my face, that’s a scary way of putting it but I am scared about that.

I am in no way conforming to standard notions of beauty, I never have. This is for me.

I think it kind of takes 5-10 years off your face, age-wise. I’m not having anything v drastic done.

I understand what you’re saying and I hope not. I don’t think you can have facelift after facelift and I haven’t ever had any of the other beauty treatments.

How old are you? I used to feel similarly but my face is ravaged by the last few years and it makes me sad every day.

I went for a recommendation from my local private health clinic. Then me and dd Googled like crazy.

Have put the details above in reply to another poster. Feel free to DM with any other questions though :) x

For me it’s been the last 5 years- a massive family tragedy and parent deaths, end of my marriage, losing my job during COVID and a whole host of other things. I just sort of turned inwards and stopped bothering about myself. I’m working my way out of that now and this plus some weight loss and other lifestyle choices are helping.

I’m sure her daughter takes her cues from the world at large at 22.

Hands will still give you away, sadly

Hey OP, good luck! I am having a similar procedure to you later in the year. I absolutely do not want a GA either, I’m not even doing twilight… I’m cool with my eyes and mid face, but my lower face has defo fallen off the scaffolding. I’d love to hear about your experience and result, hope all goes well for you :)

Forgot to say good luck. I am exactly the same age with a DD a similar age I have jowls too.

No. You're projecting a stance held by some feminists onto two women you've never met and who, like most women will not fall into the homogeneous box you want them in to support your argument. It's oversimplistic, takes no account of individual motivations and displays an underlying arrogance that you know best. Its condescending as you assume a herd mentality amongst younger women. Your hyperbolic language and use of low self esteem as an insult is simply an attack on other women veiled as feminism. There is a time and a way to challenge 'impossible beauty standards' and an appropriate target to direct that to. Shaming and blaming an individual woman for having a face-lift is not appropriate and is no more a feminist act than blaming women in short skirts for the sexual objectification of women.

@5128gap

No. I'm saying don't judge. And you're judging me.

Have an opinion, sure. Live by it yourself, by all means.

Be aggressively oppositional and confrontational about someone's personal view, on 'Style & Beauty'?!

Take a look at yourself, you're coming across as grossly unpleasant - on the inside.

I don't think you mean me? I haven't spoken to you on the thread, and we are agreeing!

It sounds like you're on a real glow up journey. Well done!

I suggest you re-read the OP. Carefully and to the end.

Tia

I haven’t had a face lift but I have had an operation on my face in December.

as a pp said lots of pillows, I ended up actually sleeping on the sofa as I found it easier to keep me upright, sort of wedged myself in the corner and piled pillows around.
and take Button up top for after the operation when you’re heading home and recovery so you’re not having to pull a T-shirt over your head

good luck!

The OP invited 'haters' to comment. That doesn't mean other people can't disagree with them, surely? I didn't criticise you for the act of posting, but for the content of your post.

If you're on Mumsnet for support. Why?

What support do you want?

If you have this operation now and lose the weight you mention will it need doing again?

I am likely a 'hater' but this doesnt seem the thread for it so will refrain! Probably a subject for a general thread. I hate the game, not the player.

Good luck OP, I hope everything goes well. Someone mentioned WagsandClaws upthread, there was also CollagenQueen who did a thread a year or so ago about hers, if you want to read about their experiences.

I’ve been following the progress of a lady on Tik Tok - she’s really informative and you can see everything from the beginning and throughout her healing progress

https://www.tiktok.com/@sassy.sas8?_t=ZN-8uTy75l1Ulq&_r=1

Yes, it is informative. Convinced me to never have one. I prefer her before look. No one believes me, but I don't like the excessively smooth faced doll look.
Not sure if her Tiktok video will work that way for other people though!

I’m due to go in on the 17th March, face and neck lift under general. I live in the se too. I actually considered going to Charles Nduka as well he was reccomended to me by my doctor who has seen the work he does as she works in the same hospital so hope that gives you a bit of extra assurance. In the end I decided to go up north for mine so I’ve booked an airb&b for a couple of weeks.
Things I bought include face ice mask, wedge pillow, puzzle books, extra long charger cable, soft hair Alice bands, drinking straws I also bought some arnica and bromelain to help with the swelling and bruising. Please feel free to message me and good luck.

Hmmm. I just don't think it is the answer personally.

If it were me I'd spend the money on amazing holidays and experiences for me and daughter instead: great food, wonderful entertainment, lots of fun and laughter.

All the happiness and sunshine would (I truly believe) show on the face and blow the cobwebs of your rough few years away.