You know when you really love an item, but it just doesn’t work….

[Newmeagain]

It’s so disappointing!

I spotted a cropped suit jacket at M&S that I thought would really suit me as I am short. Really wanted the matching trousers and there were no sizes online or near me so I made a long trip to track them down. Visualised myself wearing the suit to work and looking really cold and professional.

Alas - there is just too much fabric in the wrong places in the trousers. I tried them on about a gazillion times, trying to convince myself that they looked good - but I had a to accept that I looked like Charlie Chaplin. I am just glad that I did admit defeat because in the past I have bought things against my own better judgment. (I did keep the jacket - I think it will look good with other things.)

Here are the trousers in case anyone is interested:
https://www.marksandspencer.com/wool-blend-pinstripe-tapered-trousers/p/clp60682762#intid=pid_pg1pip9g4r2c3

I want to look cool and elegant wearing black - but if I wear anything black, I look like I've risen from the dead in a bad way.

Yep. Short and round apple
Wide leg trousers, Charlie Chaplin
Skinny jeans, look like a parsnip
Quilted jackets, look like I'm wearing Nans bed jacket.

I remember that thread linked! Very funny

Lionel Ritchie! 🤣

Full-length puffer coats that other mums wear.
Just looks like a boiler lagging-jacket on me…

Also Gladiator sandals. Love the idea of them.
But the reality is massive calves cankle-ness!

Suzi Quattro’s fat nan… I’m dying!

Fake fur jacket, I'm more Pat Butcher than I'd care to admit.
I bought a white and navy floral from Monsoon for my nephews wedding. In the pictures I looked like a sofa.

That is the funniest thread I’ve ever seen. I cried with laughter so many times.

That thread is my 'go to' if I'm ever feeling a bit low. Instantly the day looks up (and I start giving my entire wardrobe side-eye).

Mine would be the straight jean trend. Despite finding curvy styles to suit my high hip to waist ratio, I still look awful in them. I dread spring coming as I look so dated in skinny jeans too. Closest I have got is mom jeans but they don’t suit all type of footwear. I must have tried about 50 pairs to no avail.

Me and jump suits ! I had a gorgeous linen jump suit, I kept trying on for various occasions and realised my tummy and jump suits didn't work.

Trench coats here. I buy one every ten years or so, thinking I must have aged into ‘the classic trench’ by now.

Nope. I still look like Columbo, just an older version.

Also, maxi skirts. My hips give the impression I’m hiding a toilet roll under there, or doing an impression of one of those Princess birthday cakes with half a Barbie stuck in the top.

Midi dresses.
I have wide calves and they cut me off at the chunkiest part making my legs look like stumps.
It has been hard these past few years as the knee length dress has pretty much disappeared and it's midi midi midi all the way.

Or mini, which frankly I do not have the thighs for. Or maxi which is just too much fabric for me, swishing about getting in the way.

Buying dresses has been tricky.

High necked tops. Look so stylish and elegant on the model.
I have no neck to speak of, instant period drama cook.

I've tried so hard to get leather jackets of all varieties to look good on me but have now given up. I look like I'm about to storm into my local and drag someone out by their hair for a good kicking.

So many

I once bought a dress (pale pink with cream spots)
It clung to every single lump and bump (to be fair,I have loads)
My dp took one look at me and said I looked like Mr blobbys nanna

When I left school,I chopped all my hair off into one of those pixie cuts
Which look great of you have elfin features
I don't
I had a Jay from the inbetweeners vibe

Bought a pair of basic black boots
Not much can go wrong with basic black boots
Or so I thought
They made my feet look wide (i have the worlds most narrow feet),but clown like at the same time-they went on forever

Trench coats-i kept reading about the classic camel trench coat being a staple
I looked like inspector bloody gadget

I bought a pair of beautiful earrings
Sliver,a small diamond stone at the top and a pearl drop
Put them in and they seemed to disappear on my lobe but my lobe seemed to grow into giant proportions
I never thought I'd have issues with a earring

A beautiful,red gingham,halter style neck,50's dress
Gorgeous on the hanger
On me,it looked like I'd stolen some poor sods tablecloth and shoved a ton of padding in the back of my pants (my arse grew to the point even dp commented)

My mil bought me a gorgeous orange scarf,so I bought a swish navy blue,100%wool,duffle coat to wear with it
Paddington bear stared back at me in the mirror

A 20's style hat in red
(I think they are called cloche hats and they are meant to be flattering on my long face/high forehead)
Oddly,it looked amazing on dp-he really suited it
Me?
I looked like I had an odd shaped bucket on my head
(I don't learn,I went back and bought 2 more-one grey and one black-i looked exactly the same but in different colours)

I tried on a cropped, shiny olive green, puffer jacket in Zara. I looked like a fat pea!

I did not buy it.

I learned a while ago to avoid these "cool" trousers. I end up looking like an ageing character actor from the 40s.

Maxi dresses - i look like a gnome in drag.

This all reminds me of a wonderful
post a few years back called ‘and this is what it’ll look like on you Janet’ where a poster said that she was delighted to buy a lovely very chic white linen jacket in a sale - alas on trying at home, her family screamed with laughter and told her she looked just like their butcher.

For me, it’s pussy bow blouses. I don’t look chic, on trend or cool - more like Margaret Thatcher.

Same here! 🤣🤣🤣

I was just thinking of Suzi Quatro's fat nan!

Years ago - a short light pale blue slim fitting jacket with a pair of tight black trousers and some flat black ankle boots. In my mind - minimalist chic.

Reality - Captain James T Kirk

I have a lot of hair-related ones. I cut all my hair off when I realised that my shoulder length blonde hair, fringe and glasses made me look exactly like Dana Carvey in Wayne’s World.

This made me laugh. You’ve put into words what’s wrong with my style