Page 8 | Looking older than my age

stargir · 2024-12-31T11:41:49+00:00

Age 53 with nasolabial folds and dryish skin. I have never really worn much make up and have been using a tiny amount of Bourgois gel foundation to even out my skin tone along with Olay retinol 24 night cream and Olay regenerist day cream. I have tried all sorts of moisturisers and foundations but I am feeling really low with how old I look and wondered if anyone could recommend some sort of tinted moisturiser or other product that could give me a bit of glow, I was on the point of ordering some trinny London BFF de-stress cream but that has mixed reviews and I can’t afford to waste money. I hate thick make up and would never consider fillers or Botox as I have a fear of needles and don’t have tons of money to spend on beauty. I do wonder if years of running have caused the sagging of my skin so know I mainly do cycling and gym classes. Any suggestions?

Mercurial123 · 01/02/2025 13:31

@Sonat looks like you're using a filter and applied cosmetics.

Kashmiri24 · 01/02/2025 13:48

@Sonant you are obviously an attractive woman, but that photo is blurred and you are posing at an odd angle. For someone so self confident, why aren't you posting an unposed natural shot, minus any filter? We can all look gorgeous and young for our age using various filters. Vanity isn't a good look on anyone though.

Okthenguys · 01/02/2025 13:50

I wish there was a way we could post photos of our skin/faces alongside what we use so others could objectively (and kindly!) judge if it would work for them. But most people (me included!) wouldn’t dare post a picture on a public forum like this. For example - I’m black and use retinol, my skin looks decent but I accept that may be genetics too so me just saying “use retinol” may not be very helpful for other posters.

Anyway OP - for what it’s worth I echo most who say given your dry skin, invest in a gentle cream based cleanser, some hylauronic acid plus a decent (not necessarily expensive) moisturizer and don’t skip sunblock. Drink more water than you think you need and consider using an oil to “slug” or seal in all your product. Based on what others have said, tret seems the best non-invasive option for you. For makeup - think creamy, dewy, natural. Avoid anything matte, shimmery or chalk/powder based. And most important to remember - you probably look better than you think!

Brokeinto · 05/02/2025 11:00

Sonant · 01/02/2025 01:13

Look. I use tret.

I obviously look my age.

That's my bloody point.

I don't think I look young.

It's ok to be ok.

Sagging jowls.

Contorted face.

I'm about as natural as you get friend.

I don't wear makeup.

It's fine to not like me.

I like me though.

Oh god not again, I wish that ban on pictures was still in place, vanity is never attractive no matter how nice/not nice you look.

Abitlosttoday · 05/02/2025 20:25

Thefastplodder · 31/12/2024 11:59

I’m not making light of your concerns but I bet you don’t look as bad as you think you do. I think once we hit our 50’s it’s a bit of a shock 😁 we suddenly don’t look how we use to and our faces start to change shape, but if you look at other women our age, you’ll see that the majority are all going through the same.

However, nothing wrong with wanting to make the best of what we have and as PP has already suggested, Tret is a good start but won’t get rid off the heavy lines, but sounds like you need to really up the moisturiser too before you start the tret as its very drying. I use Cerave which certainly helps to keep the dryness at bay. I also use a small amount of tanning drops to give me a bit of colour and I’ve recently purchased an origins spf which is tinted and gives a nice glow without the caked foundation look.

I second all of this. I also recommend Nars Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturiser. It's not super cheap but it's lovely and light. It just lifts your skin.

Abitlosttoday · 05/02/2025 20:25

Thefastplodder · 31/12/2024 11:59

I’m not making light of your concerns but I bet you don’t look as bad as you think you do. I think once we hit our 50’s it’s a bit of a shock 😁 we suddenly don’t look how we use to and our faces start to change shape, but if you look at other women our age, you’ll see that the majority are all going through the same.

However, nothing wrong with wanting to make the best of what we have and as PP has already suggested, Tret is a good start but won’t get rid off the heavy lines, but sounds like you need to really up the moisturiser too before you start the tret as its very drying. I use Cerave which certainly helps to keep the dryness at bay. I also use a small amount of tanning drops to give me a bit of colour and I’ve recently purchased an origins spf which is tinted and gives a nice glow without the caked foundation look.

I second all of this. I also recommend Nars Pure Radiant Tinted Moisturiser. It's not super cheap but it's lovely and light. It just lifts your skin.

Abitlosttoday · 05/02/2025 23:00

Phase2 · 22/01/2025 07:54

This thread is so horrible. What about someone posting a photo has made you want to put the poster down? So what if you think she's fishing/isn't attractive/ does it all the time - you don't have to actively attack her looks and her face. It's like watching bullies all dive in to get a quick fix.

Yes, I very much agree. So many people ready to insult a woman with the audacity not to hate herself. It's very nasty. It feels like it has snowballed with one cruel comment giving licence to the next. Shitty.

Sonant · 05/02/2025 23:14

Abitlosttoday · 05/02/2025 23:00

Yes, I very much agree. So many people ready to insult a woman with the audacity not to hate herself. It's very nasty. It feels like it has snowballed with one cruel comment giving licence to the next. Shitty.

Show quote history

It's fine.

But Thankyou.

I've liked myself since I was a teenager.

Why can't women like themselves?

Sonant · 05/02/2025 23:44

You can't say I'm ugly. I'm not.

Why can't I like myself?

Mercurial123 · 06/02/2025 04:42

@Sonat, you didn't address the issue of using a filter and makeup on your photos when you claim to be not wearing makeup and are completely natural. You are coming across as disingenuous. And you've been making the same point for years 🥱.

alwaysontheloo · 06/02/2025 08:50

Fuck me, aren't there enough places in the world where women are hated on?

Why are people being such cunts to a poster who is happy in her own skin? Can't we lift each other up a bit? So what if she posts photos? What does it really matter to you?

FWIW I think her skin looks great. And does it really matter if she posts from angles? She's not having a fucking mugshot taken 🙄

Arraminta · 06/02/2025 13:54

It's because of the huge dichotomy between what she says and what she actually does.

So she relentlessly posts that she's all natural, that she doesn't wear make up, that she doesn't do social media and that she's very happy in her own skin.

Except.....she only posts heavily edited photos, taken from weird angles whilst contorting her face. She's clearly has had filler and is on Facebook.

Finally if she was truly happy in her own skin and loved how she looked then she'd post a candid, unfiltered quick snap, taken full frontal in normal light.

But she never does.

Gingerwarthog · 06/02/2025 16:55

Probably missing the point but where's your shirt from @Sonant ?
Looks great.

JaneJeffer · 06/02/2025 16:57

taken full frontal in normal light
Steady on

Arraminta · 06/02/2025 17:29

JaneJeffer · 06/02/2025 16:57

taken full frontal in normal light
Steady on

Oops, I meant just her face full frontal!

TheGander · 06/02/2025 18:37

💯@alwaysontheloo

Sonant · 09/02/2025 04:16

Arraminta · 06/02/2025 13:54

It's because of the huge dichotomy between what she says and what she actually does.

So she relentlessly posts that she's all natural, that she doesn't wear make up, that she doesn't do social media and that she's very happy in her own skin.

Except.....she only posts heavily edited photos, taken from weird angles whilst contorting her face. She's clearly has had filler and is on Facebook.

Finally if she was truly happy in her own skin and loved how she looked then she'd post a candid, unfiltered quick snap, taken full frontal in normal light.

But she never does.

There's not though.

Which is why I post so many photos.

I have never had a bit of filler.

They're not heavily edited.

Or weird angled.

Or contorted.

It's just my face.

SO;

How do I tell you that's just my face?

It's how I look.

I can't really.

Sonant · 09/02/2025 04:22

Gingerwarthog · 06/02/2025 16:55

Probably missing the point but where's your shirt from @Sonant ?
Looks great.

It's Cos!

NautilusLionfish · 09/02/2025 04:36

Okthenguys · 01/02/2025 13:50

I wish there was a way we could post photos of our skin/faces alongside what we use so others could objectively (and kindly!) judge if it would work for them. But most people (me included!) wouldn’t dare post a picture on a public forum like this. For example - I’m black and use retinol, my skin looks decent but I accept that may be genetics too so me just saying “use retinol” may not be very helpful for other posters.

Anyway OP - for what it’s worth I echo most who say given your dry skin, invest in a gentle cream based cleanser, some hylauronic acid plus a decent (not necessarily expensive) moisturizer and don’t skip sunblock. Drink more water than you think you need and consider using an oil to “slug” or seal in all your product. Based on what others have said, tret seems the best non-invasive option for you. For makeup - think creamy, dewy, natural. Avoid anything matte, shimmery or chalk/powder based. And most important to remember - you probably look better than you think!

Good advice.

I wish I looked better than I think. Am black and 47. I look 57. 15 years of hardly sleeping, chronic dehydration (don't drink water much. Used to drink some wine which is dehydrating, and lots of hot water bottle cos otherwise my feet stay chilly and I can't sleep) and years of extreme stress. I look older than my 53 year old menopausal sister and genuinely have deeper wrinkles than my 83 year old mum (the only part of her face that looks older than mine is around where her marionettes are forming but just). It's left me distressed and really not wanting to see friends. And being black people expect me not to age so fast which makes it all worse. And I still have acne. So just shit all around

Sonant · 09/02/2025 04:44

I'm not even vain.

I post photos because I want women to be ok about themselves.

I LOVE a surety.

I want my Daughter and my Son to think;

YES.

That's me.

I tell them to read Marcus Arelius - Meditations

And The Art of War.

And then think about how the world views women.

It breaks my heart every day.

This is you darling.

And this is your mother and your sister.

And we have to look at how the world views us.

It doesn't even consider women, never mind like them.

murphys · 09/02/2025 08:01

@Sonant

It's all fair and well being confident, being comfortable with yourself and attempting to be a voice for other women to feel the same about themselves.

But how you get that message across is just as important. I think this is where you might be going a bit wrong and this is why you get the responses you do.

If someone is making a post for advice, chances are that they are not feeling confident about something and could do with a boost of some sort.

And then here comes multiple (what seems like very staged) selfies of yourself implying that is how others could look. "Look at me, how great am I as I wear no make up and I still look this great. I am who you should aspire to be".

Do you not see how that is coming across as the total opposite effect of what you are claiming them to.

It is not only this thread, and others who frequent the board also know this. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that quietly confident, is a more attractive feature to have.

DUsername · 09/02/2025 08:17

murphys · 09/02/2025 08:01

@Sonant

It's all fair and well being confident, being comfortable with yourself and attempting to be a voice for other women to feel the same about themselves.

But how you get that message across is just as important. I think this is where you might be going a bit wrong and this is why you get the responses you do.

If someone is making a post for advice, chances are that they are not feeling confident about something and could do with a boost of some sort.

And then here comes multiple (what seems like very staged) selfies of yourself implying that is how others could look. "Look at me, how great am I as I wear no make up and I still look this great. I am who you should aspire to be".

Do you not see how that is coming across as the total opposite effect of what you are claiming them to.

It is not only this thread, and others who frequent the board also know this. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that quietly confident, is a more attractive feature to have.

Yeah I agree.

It's wonderful to feel confident in yourself and want others to feel the same. You don't achieve that by posting selfies though, that might make YOU feel good but I wonder whether you stopped to consider what value it added to the op? How did it help her?

LaMarschallin · 09/02/2025 08:29

Sonant

I post photos because I want women to be ok about themselves.

Why should posting umpteen selfies (that are contorted, with sucked in cheeks and pouty duck lips) make other women feel good about themselves?
Is the rationale supposed to be "If Sonant thinks she looks good then I must look great?"

And the streams of consciousness posted in the early hours of the morning are just weird.

Sonant · 09/02/2025 09:45

murphys · 09/02/2025 08:01

@Sonant

It's all fair and well being confident, being comfortable with yourself and attempting to be a voice for other women to feel the same about themselves.

But how you get that message across is just as important. I think this is where you might be going a bit wrong and this is why you get the responses you do.

If someone is making a post for advice, chances are that they are not feeling confident about something and could do with a boost of some sort.

And then here comes multiple (what seems like very staged) selfies of yourself implying that is how others could look. "Look at me, how great am I as I wear no make up and I still look this great. I am who you should aspire to be".

Do you not see how that is coming across as the total opposite effect of what you are claiming them to.

It is not only this thread, and others who frequent the board also know this. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that quietly confident, is a more attractive feature to have.

Yes. I get all that.

You're not wrong.

BUT, and there's always a but.

I'm not that person.

I've never been quiet.

Why should one be quietly confident. When one could be loudly confident.

I always wanted to shout;

I'M HERE.

See me.

I fucking exist.

It's very much about STFU and listen.

And my daughter is way more beautiful than me and I want the world to listen to her, not look at her.

So it's an agitation.

It's always been a provocation I guess.

Arraminta · 09/02/2025 10:46

Sonant · 09/02/2025 09:45

Yes. I get all that.

You're not wrong.

BUT, and there's always a but.

I'm not that person.

I've never been quiet.

Why should one be quietly confident. When one could be loudly confident.

I always wanted to shout;

I'M HERE.

See me.

I fucking exist.

It's very much about STFU and listen.

And my daughter is way more beautiful than me and I want the world to listen to her, not look at her.

So it's an agitation.

It's always been a provocation I guess.

Show quote history

The reason you want to be loudly confident and to shout is because you're constantly seeking validation and praise for your looks.

Which is the absolute opposite of being confident and happy in your own skin.