Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Transformational advice needed to out-do ex's new wife

451 replies

stilllostinthecity · 23/09/2024 12:30

I hoped that would get your attention!
Background - 15 years ago my husband had an affair and our marriage broke up with him leaving the family when our kids were aged 4 and 11. That woman is still on the scene, we have never spoken more than a few words, he co-parented reasonably over the years till the kids were older. That woman had a couple of kids with him, put on weight and I would say, aged badly (ha!).
Roll the clock forward - my elder son is getting married in December and my ex and that woman (she has no name to me!) will be coming - obviously, there will be absolutely no outward tension coming from me, it will be my son's day with his lovely new wife and it is absolutely not going to be a day of old dramas.

However - I want to look really good to sort of show him what a f**k up he made!!! I should add, that I have been in a new relationship myself for more than ten years, my new bloke, is a real silver fox, plus a lovely kind person too. He will be looking his best as I am buying him a new suit :)

I should add that I live in jeans and t shirts or sportwear (running/walking). I wear trousers and short jackets for work, I have a few dresses but if I do wear a dress I don't do ultra formal, I don't wear heels and I always really struggle to find the right shoes/ jacket to go with something.

Where do I even shop for something to wear? Can anyone suggest some links? Ideally I will be needing not just a dress but a jacket (I prefer short jackets) and shoes too - is this too much to ask of you mumsnet!? Just think of it as some revenge dressing ;)

What do you need to know?

As far as my figure and build - I am fit and active, 58 years old. Five foot five, size 14 bust, 12/14 at the bottom. Slim hips and good legs.

What don't I want?
I prefer a length that sits just above my knees, I think my legs are a stong point.
I don't have big bum or thighs, so I am not needing to cover up - or show off those, I usually go for something reasonably slim fitted round the bum.
I have a bit of tummy, but not really an issue, 10.5 stone.
Upper arms - I really prefer to cover these and it is a Dec wedding so going to be cold between church and venue. I actually prefer a long sleeve, sheer rather than frilly.
Cleavage, I am a 36/38, I prefer a scooped neck (not a dress that goes to the chin) as otherwise it seems to make my bust look huge. No collars, I am quite plain and I think they make me look old fashioned. Bust is a strong point.
Colour, I am spring colours - love blues / blue greens. Def not black / red etc
Price - not really a budget as such - up to £200-300 but great if it was cheaper!

I really like this sort of thing but the arms are out! so if I did get something like this I would prefer arms! Also I realise it is slightly longer than my preference:
https://www.next.co.uk/style/su320381/e08139#e08139

Thank you everyone xxx

Buy Reiss Teal Lyra Mesh Jersey Ruched Midi Dress from the Next UK online shop

Shop for Reiss Teal Lyra Mesh Jersey Ruched Midi Dress at Next.co.uk. Next day delivery and free returns to store. 1000s of products online. Buy Reiss Teal Lyra Mesh Jersey Ruched Midi Dress now!

https://www.next.co.uk/style/su320381/e08139#e08139

OP posts:
Thread gallery
43
Motherofacertainage · 25/09/2024 19:44

Jumping on here to totally empathise and also to suggest a dress rental agency. John Lewis do a rental service where your budget would go a long way and if you use the app you can upload your photo and dimensions virtually 'try on' loads of different outfits. They do accessories too and for something you'll only wear once I think it's great and better for the environment and you can have a killer designer outfit without breaking the bank.

SirChenjins · 25/09/2024 20:22

AngelicKaty · 25/09/2024 19:15

You seriously think that OP should care about OW just because their children share the same father? Pfff! OP's ex is such a prince among men that he's not even contributing to his first-born son's nuptials!

No, I think that the OP shouldn’t be so disparaging of another woman’s size or ageing - it does her no favours. I realise she’s still bitter, although it sounds like she has a better life post-divorce so I’m not quite sure why, but her 15 year old venom should be directed at the person who cheated on her - and quite why she wants to dress for that person in some sort of ‘look what you lost’ dance when I imagine he’s well aware of what he lost and has no regrets I’m not sure.

As for contributing to the nuptials, a pp answered that. It may also be that he has contributed in another way.

ComfyBoobs · 25/09/2024 20:23

The Outnet is good for more unusual / less high street pieces. This is lovely: https://www.theoutnet.com/en-gb/shop/product/saloni/dresses/midi-dress/fleur-pleated-printed-satin-jacquard-midi-dress/1647597341926327

TiramisuThief · 25/09/2024 20:41

WhenWillItAllGetBetter · 25/09/2024 18:17

I can’t believe how many people are saying that JJ house is the one.
It’s hideous. The diamanté thing is tacky as hell, the awful cover up lacy sleeves and the horrendous matching weird coat thing. Do not wear it op.

The OP is in her 50’s, not 85

I don't get it either. It's dated, the material is bad, the 'floaty' jacket/coverup is ageing.

Almost as bad as the 80 million suggestions to go to John Lewis, like OP has never heard of a department store.

IHaveNeverLivedintheCastle · 25/09/2024 20:49

TiramisuThief · 25/09/2024 20:41

I don't get it either. It's dated, the material is bad, the 'floaty' jacket/coverup is ageing.

Almost as bad as the 80 million suggestions to go to John Lewis, like OP has never heard of a department store.

It's clearly very divisive.I think it's one of the worst dresses I've seen here. There is a Yumi, frilled wrap, dipped hem with angel sleeves dress which gets a lot of love on here which I dislike a lot (personal taste, of course) but it's only £60 or so.

This is £212 for a nylon dress (I'm assuming that's what "chiffon" means here) that can't be washed or dry cleaned.

AngelicKaty · 25/09/2024 20:52

ComfyBoobs · 25/09/2024 20:23

But it's sleeveless and high-necked - both features OP was clear she didn't want. It's pretty, but the wedding is in December. 🥶

AngelicKaty · 25/09/2024 20:53

Gorgeous, but again, OP stated she wanted long sleeves.

AngelicKaty · 25/09/2024 20:55

Gorgeous! 😍 Fabulous colour and elbow length sleeves.

AngelicKaty · 25/09/2024 21:00

TiramisuThief · 25/09/2024 20:41

I don't get it either. It's dated, the material is bad, the 'floaty' jacket/coverup is ageing.

Almost as bad as the 80 million suggestions to go to John Lewis, like OP has never heard of a department store.

Except a couple of pps suggested using John Lewis' Personal Stylist service and OP confirmed y'day that she has an appointment booked with them.

FinanceTrustFund65BlueEyes · 25/09/2024 21:44

You could get a dress made to order

https://www.facebook.com/share/EvozJMs9a9MUY3he/

These are sensational and appropriate - not at all dowdy or frumpy.

Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/share/EvozJMs9a9MUY3he

Ilikeadrink14 · 25/09/2024 22:18

hamstersarse · 23/09/2024 12:36

You are going to get a load of shit for this, but I totally get it. My only advice is not to go too try hard

You need effortless sophistication

I hope she doesn’t get harassed for her question which is totally reasonable. I totally agree with your advice - effortless sophistication sounds just the ticket.

NonsuchCastle · 26/09/2024 02:33

WhenWillItAllGetBetter · 25/09/2024 18:17

I can’t believe how many people are saying that JJ house is the one.
It’s hideous. The diamanté thing is tacky as hell, the awful cover up lacy sleeves and the horrendous matching weird coat thing. Do not wear it op.

The OP is in her 50’s, not 85

Agree. OP, please do not wear polyster unless it is really really high end polyester. You can get silk for a decent price.
https://www.realsilklife.com/collections/silk-dresses/products/ruffled-collar-solid-silk-dress?spm=..collection_5bd17dc4-7725-42e0-a209-3584b5c4dbe7.collection_detail_1.39&spm_prev=..product_8d0d6653-8e72-4844-bf63-1a3200b44ca6.header_1.1&variant=20525302-757e-43b3-a2a8-b3d95f7d30e2

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/09/2024 05:06

Survivingnotthriving24 · 25/09/2024 15:17

https://www.nigelraymentboutique.co.uk/products/ir8624-midnight-blue?variant=43926901653751

I'd go for this, a navy cashmere pashmina and fascinator. Professionally done hair, make up and nails. Either navy satin or gold shoes and accessories.

Edited

I saw this dress on another site and would have posted it. But it doesn’t come in op’s size so I went on a search elsewhere for it or something similar but didn’t find anything. The only dress in her size is on eBay but that’s risky if it doesn’t fit / suit. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225088233008?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5339055774&toolid=20006&_ul=gb&customid=EAIaIQobChMI5Mi0o9zfiAMVSoZQBh0JWTL8EAQYBiABEgKWL_D_BwE&gad_source=1 I also found it in blush in budget on another site...

Survivingnotthriving24 · 26/09/2024 06:59

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/09/2024 05:06

I saw this dress on another site and would have posted it. But it doesn’t come in op’s size so I went on a search elsewhere for it or something similar but didn’t find anything. The only dress in her size is on eBay but that’s risky if it doesn’t fit / suit. www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225088233008?var=0&mkevt=1&mkcid=1&mkrid=710-53481-19255-0&campid=5339055774&toolid=20006&_ul=gb&customid=EAIaIQobChMI5Mi0o9zfiAMVSoZQBh0JWTL8EAQYBiABEgKWL_D_BwE&gad_source=1 I also found it in blush in budget on another site...

It's always advisable to size up in more formal clothing then have it tailored if required. High Street sizing is generous, so a 14 or 16 will likely be the best fit for OP if its not high street.

rockstarshoes · 26/09/2024 07:56

This is such a great brief, I don't understand why everyone takes things so seriously on here!

A December Wedding is a great opportunity to wear velvet, Boden did a fabulous velvet dress last year in jewel colours that would have been perfect, with a short fur jacket.

What about this as a starter for 10

www.johnlewis.com/adrianna-papell-velvet-bell-sleeve-dress-midnight/p110761261

rockstarshoes · 26/09/2024 08:02

This is lovely too, not as formal but need to go back & check your budget! Also available in pink.

www.johnlewis.com/nrby-freya-velvet-midi-dress/forest/p111132427

rockstarshoes · 26/09/2024 08:11

Not velvet but the shape fits your brief.

www.johnlewis.com/adrianna-papell-knit-crepe-pearl-dress-black/p111721055

Loubilou23 · 26/09/2024 09:35

TheCultureHusks · 23/09/2024 12:50

Oh fgs!!!

There’s a lot of humour in OP’s post which does a good job, I think, of showing how she’s planning to approach a day that’s unfortunately, thanks to her ex’s actions, going to be a difficult day as well as one of celebration. Of course she’s bloody bothered about what she wears, as is anyone when you know it’s not just going to be your outfit but also partly your armour. Have some bloody emotional intelligence people.

OP that’s unfortunately the sum total of my chipping in as I have about as much ability to style someone as I do to do brain surgery on them or cast their horoscope, ie nil. Good luck finding a fantastic dress which hopefully has some little cyanide jets disguised in the waistband which you just might be able to deploy during the reception.

100% agree

The holier than though crew.... 🙄

Loubilou23 · 26/09/2024 09:37

Has anyone mentioned Jasper Conran? They do some stunningly elegant knee length shirt dresses in silk 😍

Lentilweaver · 26/09/2024 09:46

Loubilou23 · 26/09/2024 09:37

Has anyone mentioned Jasper Conran? They do some stunningly elegant knee length shirt dresses in silk 😍

It was mentioned upthread and yes, they were the best by far.

Swipe left for the next trending thread