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Am I the only one that hates women’s swimwear/beachwear options?

276 replies

Mudonstairs · 24/06/2024 11:32

A total first world problem…Just wanting a rant really. I have booked my first holiday since becoming a mum and am finding the bikini options quite depressing. I’ve never liked one piece swim suits so bikini/tankini is really my only option. I just find them all so revealing and I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing them. The tankini options tend to look so plain and unattractive and I find they are marketed at the plus size market so unavailable in my size sometimes. I am finding most styles are either too revealing or on the other end of the scale just frumpy 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just want something pretty that covers the bottom a bit better. I don’t want to have shave or wax while I’m away for two weeks so knickers are a bit too revealing. I feel annoyed that men don’t have to decide whether they want their pubes on show!!!

I am late thirties, a size 8 but I do go up a size or two on bottoms to get more coverage. Another rant: why do the bottoms only cover half a bum cheek?! 🤬 perhaps a lot of retailers believe that women want to bare as much flesh as possible, especially if they are of a smaller frame??? I don’t get it.

I have bought a skirted bottom from M&S online (can’t remember which brand) which is ok and still feminine without looking frumpy. But I can’t find anything else remotely pretty but still not too much flesh on the bottom area on show. People have suggested sarongs/cover ups but honestly I just want something I can go in and out of a pool without too much faffing. I will have a two year old to run after!

Sorry, rant over! Does anyone else feel my pain?

OP posts:
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exaltedwombat · 25/06/2024 19:07

So you're not in love with your new 'mum' body? Shorts and a top for this season I think.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 25/06/2024 19:21

How about a Tri Suit (ignore the tongue in cheek name of this brand, it was their founder's nickname, and their kit is excellent).

Dontevenlookatme · 25/06/2024 19:42

I agree OP. I’m in Spain a lot and the cheeky bum bikini is very much in evidence. Full arse cheeks on show. I like mine to fit like actual knickers.

You could do worse than Asda, their swimwear is quite good,

Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:21

dunkdemunder · 25/06/2024 15:50

@Mudonstairs

PeonySeasons
Do you mean this sort of thing? Speedo Women's Hyperboom Splice Legsuit Quick Drying Training Fitness Chlorine Resistant Swimsuit (pack of 1) https://amzn.eu/d/08KjXieEE***

I just think why do we have to be subjected to so many cut outs? Men don’t have to. I like being feminine but why does looking feminine equate to showing more flesh?
You mean the back showing? Is this revealing cut out for you? I don't see that as revealing. You reference men, they usually have no top part at all. I don't think most people consider seeing the middle of their back particularly revealing.
The strap arrangement on the back allows for free arm and shoulder movement. Are you looking for something that literally covers you from neck down back and front? Like a short wetsuit? That requires a zip and is a completely different kind of garment. Maybe look in surf shops?

The back cutouts wouldn’t bother me so much if I liked the actual swimsuit. The cutouts were just the nail in the coffin for me 😂 men having their tops off is irrelevant to my problem. The part of my body that I don’t want on show is the lower half. Men don’t have this issue as most men’s swimwear in the shops cover their crotch area, unless they are the Speedo budgie smuggler classics!

I don’t like one piece suits so wetsuits are out. Im thinking some kind of shorts and top combo.

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MadameMassiveSalad · 25/06/2024 20:39

There are gorgeous one pieces op & they are very on trend. Why not try some?

Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:43

exaltedwombat · 25/06/2024 19:07

So you're not in love with your new 'mum' body? Shorts and a top for this season I think.

Well it’s not just about the mum bod if you read my posts but I’ll furnish you with the deeper details if that’s what you’re after. I have never liked the swimwear options out there but I just put up with them but things are different now.

I am no longer in a position to have a holiday lounging around on a sun bed with a good book like I used to. I was more able to put up with crappy swimwear options that ride up and get eaten by my arse. All I used to do on holiday was relax, and so I had time to pull my bottoms out of my crotch discreetly. My life was easy and this one little annoying part of my holiday wasn’t a big deal. I no longer have that privilege. I’m a mum now and my child is a handful. I’m finding motherhood in general really
difficult and I feel disappointed in myself (I will probably do another post about that soon), and it’s taken me 2 years to even get to a point where I will book a holiday.

If I can find some swimwear that I feel happy in for once in my life, it would mean so much more to me than just wearing a swimsuit.

OP posts:
Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:48

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 25/06/2024 19:21

How about a Tri Suit (ignore the tongue in cheek name of this brand, it was their founder's nickname, and their kit is excellent).

im afraid I don’t like one piece suits. I think I’m after a top and bottom combo. Thanks though 😊

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Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:50

PuggyPuggyPuggy · 25/06/2024 19:26

Joe Browns have swim skirts, would they be any good?

https://www.joebrowns.co.uk/paradise-cove-swim-skirt-wp147

I’m not sure about this one. I don’t hate it but can’t put my finger on why don’t love the look of it 🤔

OP posts:
Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:53

This could be an option. Although, I wish they had a pic of what the back looks like. I’ve a feeling they would show a bit of under bum if you have a bum as big as mine 😂

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Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:55

Thanks. These look like going into the water might make it balloon out so not sure about it.

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ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 20:55

@Mudonstairs meant to ask, if you don't plan to do a lot of swimming, have you looked at swimming dresses? Not quite tankini, not a one piece, but more "coverage".

Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:55

MadameMassiveSalad · 25/06/2024 20:39

There are gorgeous one pieces op & they are very on trend. Why not try some?

I have tried some, that’s why I don’t like them.

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ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 20:56

Oh never mind, cross posted 😬

Orangecandle81 · 25/06/2024 20:56

I don’t think there are that many options of nice swinwear/beach wear in the UK.

Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 20:59

ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 20:55

@Mudonstairs meant to ask, if you don't plan to do a lot of swimming, have you looked at swimming dresses? Not quite tankini, not a one piece, but more "coverage".

I don’t like one piece suits. For me a swim dress is same as a one piece, if it’s all one garment. I would consider a swim skirt and I already have one. I just need more than the one swim skirt that I already have.

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ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 21:01

I meant something like this.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/375497827295?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=ql92niufr5s&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=wRcqXNKSS2e&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Btw ebay(and amazon) have loads of the lace swim skirt you posted earlier in other colours too or if you want for spares. The lace shorts (with integrated) bikini too. I'll stop posting links however and hogging your thread. At least for today.Grin

ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 21:08

Last one I promise.

Maybe a bit of mixing and matching?

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/285415386468?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&mkrid=711-127632-2357-0&ssspo=NNIirhXgQBS&sssrc=4429486&ssuid=wRcqXNKSS2e&var=&widget_ver=artemis&media=COPY

Beeboopaboo · 25/06/2024 21:30

I like Lands End for mix & match tops and bottoms. I have a pretty tankini top from there with shorts. They also do swim skirts.

This is actually a good time to be alive for swimwear! Retailers are waking up to the idea that many of us don't want to parade around in our undies.

Lots more options online than in the shops, I find.

MynameisJune · 25/06/2024 21:34

Cupshe (swear I’m not affiliated with them) have maybe 15-20 swim skirts on their website similar to the M&S one you posted. Some may be slighter longer. Go on the website and search swim skirt and they’ll come up. Their stuff is really good.

Mudonstairs · 25/06/2024 21:38

ArseholeCatIsABlackAndWhiteCat · 25/06/2024 21:08

Oh sorry, I just don’t like that one either. The skirt looks like it will balloon in the water or at least make me look like one of those frilly goldfish 😂 I really appreciate your effort and suggestions though. Thank you!

OP posts: