Am I the only one that hates women’s swimwear/beachwear options?

[Mudonstairs]

A total first world problem…Just wanting a rant really. I have booked my first holiday since becoming a mum and am finding the bikini options quite depressing. I’ve never liked one piece swim suits so bikini/tankini is really my only option. I just find them all so revealing and I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing them. The tankini options tend to look so plain and unattractive and I find they are marketed at the plus size market so unavailable in my size sometimes. I am finding most styles are either too revealing or on the other end of the scale just frumpy 🤷🏻‍♀️ I just want something pretty that covers the bottom a bit better. I don’t want to have shave or wax while I’m away for two weeks so knickers are a bit too revealing. I feel annoyed that men don’t have to decide whether they want their pubes on show!!!

I am late thirties, a size 8 but I do go up a size or two on bottoms to get more coverage. Another rant: why do the bottoms only cover half a bum cheek?! 🤬 perhaps a lot of retailers believe that women want to bare as much flesh as possible, especially if they are of a smaller frame??? I don’t get it.

I have bought a skirted bottom from M&S online (can’t remember which brand) which is ok and still feminine without looking frumpy. But I can’t find anything else remotely pretty but still not too much flesh on the bottom area on show. People have suggested sarongs/cover ups but honestly I just want something I can go in and out of a pool without too much faffing. I will have a two year old to run after!

Sorry, rant over! Does anyone else feel my pain?

Well at least the men and women are equally skimpy in those countries 😂

I saw far more flesh than I wanted to the last time I went on holiday.
If felt like every female under the age of 40 had her arse hanging out.
Whilst I’m all for being proud of your body, It wasn’t a pretty sight. Most men wore baggy, long shorts.
I also dislike those flimsy, strappy bikini tops. The ones with a bra cup then an extra strap over the cup. Remind me of bondage.

@Mudonstairs how about the retro/50's style two pieces? They can be quite feminine and pretty, with good bum coverage. They do tend to be high waisted though.

Other than that just google bikini shorts and lots of options come out and see if anything catches your fancy .

I like those. Those with a bikini top would seem to fit the brief.

I find what I need on Bravissimo. I get 1950s style high waisted bottoms that cover everything, and you can mix and match your options.

Then usually I buy a halterneck bikini with a cup size because I'm large of boobage. But this year I've gotten an amazing Bandeau top from there, super supportive in a G cup. I've been bouncing in the bathroom and nothings shifted yet. 😂

I see what you did there @thecatneuterer

You can get bottom part with frills, overlap skirt, like shorts etc in million colour and pattern combinationa from Shein in two clicks.

It's nit like men can wear all styles without trimmed pubes. No one wears speedo with a bush falling out (or I hope they don't!)

www.seafancy.co.uk/category/GG-best-fit-for-all-women-body-shape/product/striped-bikini-top-with-high-waist-green-bottom

www.seafancy.co.uk/category/GG-best-fit-for-all-women-body-shape/product/floral-v-neck-halter-high-waisted-bikini

It's the beach! You're meant to wear as little as possible. It gets so hot and to wear next to nothing is a godsend. Swim suits and tanks stick to the skin after getting out of the water and just don't feel right. Everyone at the beach/pool are basically naked so Try not to feel self conscious!

I have a mixture of full thong bikinis and ones that show a bit less. H&M do some quite appealing ones that show half the bum rather than the full bum if you know what I mean 😂

What I need is something to magic away the cellulite on my thighs, so it’ll have to be knee length shorts for me!

I find with those high waisted styles they cover more tum rather than bum/hip/thigh unfortunately. Maybe I’m born in the wrong era and I would have liked those big bloomers women used to wear 😂

Sorry haven’t had time to read the whole thread as I’m off to work but I find this site is great.
seafancy.co.uk/?fbclid=IwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1ne09WlS07Ln60Pi0VfZ3wOw9gh33Hf3yxb4GJ2nHhGYXgqFy_2MHGtlE_aem_4SYOCwonPw10jndXhahyZA

Board shorts

https://www.mountainwarehouse.com/swimwear-beachwear/board-shorts/womens/?&searchintent=&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwsuSzBhCLARIsAIcdLm7Qkmz1p-48VJzerRhgJDsLGGd6kT2gQ-AzKeCi-dSJLuu3vEVbBggaAnfoEALw_wcB

Does anyone know of any brands that do full bum and crotch coverage without being high waisted? I'm fine getting my tummy out, I don't need sucking in or whatever, I just don't want my arse on display!

You feel what you feel OP (and others) - some really nice suggestions here.

I agree with this though. I’m a size 20 and honestly on the beach I feel less self conscious than in clothes than don’t sit right or show my lumps and bumps. On the beach everyone is pretty much the same. You see all sorts of shapes and sizes of men and women and everyone just there to sunbathe, swim, play volleyball, build sandcastles or whatever. I genuinely think we all look similarly great/shit in swimwear.

I wish we could all get over our hang ups because I’ve genuinely never been the beach and asked myself why the woman next to me is wearing what she’s wearing because she is too small/big/curvy/not curvy etc.

I agree op but the link Bellypork sent looks good, there are plenty of short type tankinis, which is great for me too running after a grandchild at the beach or pool as no need for constant costume tugging.

I wish we could all get over our hang ups

I appreciate the sentiment but my hang up is not over my body shape, it's that I don't want to have my pubes on show and I don't want to laser them off or rip them out of my skin. As the OP said, it's annoying that 99% of women's swimwear requires a major hair removal process to wear. I also don't want to be picking a wedgie out of my bum all day. It doesn't feel like much to ask!

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0CR9VNZR1?psc=1&ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_product_details

These are the amazon pair I mentioned ^^. Absolutely fine with a black bikini top or tankini.

It’s not so much me having body hang ups though. I just know I’m not going to be comfortable running around after my toddler wearing something that resembles a piece of dental floss lost up my bum. Picking up a tantruming toddler while checking my gusset is still in place isn’t my idea of conquering my body hang ups. This will be a family holiday with some of my in laws too. I’d like to hold on to some of my dignity if possible 😂

You need womens’ board shorts! All the surf brands do them eg https://www.ripcurl.com/eu/womens/clothing/boardshorts.html

I personally prefer a fitted bikini bottom as prefer it when I’m in the ocean, but nothing wrong with boardies.

These look good, thanks.

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B088KJ7YDR/ref=sspa_mb_hqp_detail_mobile_aax_0?ie=UTF8&psc=1&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9ocXBfcGhvbmVfc2hhcmVk

thanks, I will check it out.
Tbh I doubt I will be at the beach very much. I think most of the time I’ll be around the kids pool and splash park with the little one. I don’t enjoy swimming anyway so the very most I will do is get inside the pool to cool off and bob about.

This isn’t the kind of thing I’m looking for but thanks for trying. It’s just too sporty and looks like I should be doing some actual swimming. What I will be doing is lazing around, or trying to, while playing with my toddler. I don’t like one pieces either. Too much faffing to go for a wee 😂

I feel exactly the same. I want coverage in the crotch region without looking frumpy. Last year I bought some Lycra running shorts (short shorts) and then twinned it with a sports bra. I'm probably not describing it well, but it did work. Different colours top and bottom. I liked it. I kind of looked sporty. But not frumpy.