Page 8 | Wedding - colour code for guests…?!

BigGlassOfWine · 2024-02-18T21:35:06+00:00

Have just received a wedding invitation, and it’s got an actual colour chart (ivory, beige and various shades of green) as dress code attached. Lovely people, but I fear they have let themselves be talked into it by the wedding planner… are colour codes a Thing these days? I really don’t like the idea of buying a dress I won’t wear again, green doesn’t suit me 😝

NewName24 · 21/02/2024 20:24

MrsMiddleMother · 21/02/2024 19:48

I don't understand the hate for wedding colours, if anything I'd find it easier in my search for an outfit to narrow it down to certain colours.

Have you not read the thread ?

2 very good reasons which have been explained quite a few times:

Some people really don't suit some colours.

A lot of people don't buy new clothes every time they go to a wedding.

Bsgpuss · 21/02/2024 21:15

Very odd never heard of it before. Its over the top!

GG1986 · 21/02/2024 21:42

Yes one of my friends did this and it was a bloody nightmare. I got given 1 colour to work with, it was not fun at all trying to find something..

McVittieBiscuit · 21/02/2024 21:56

I think “dress code” has been a thing for weddings for a long time. Black tie is a very common requisite for formal weddings in the US and often stated on the invite if that’s the expectation/desire of the bride and groom.

I wouldn’t be opposed to buying a dress to fit a theme, but at the same time, wouldn’t be bothered about staying out of group photos if I didn’t fit the aesthetic.

At the end of the day, it’s a request. You don’t have to comply if you don’t want to.

thedevilinablackdress · 21/02/2024 22:53

Possibly what would piss me off the most is the fact that men don't have to comply with the beige/ivory/green aesthetic.

Also, I don't think this is going to look as coherent/lovely as they imagine. There are so many potential shades, patterns and combinations.

Cumbriagirl · 21/02/2024 23:03

Missing the point of the thread entirely but your post made me think of a Barenaked Ladies song lyrics…
If I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you a green dress
But not a real green dress, that's cruel
And if I had a million dollars
If I had a million dollars
Well, I'd buy you some art
A Picasso or a Garfunkel

made me laugh anyway!

WoolyRaven · 22/02/2024 08:05

EmailMyHeart · 19/02/2024 10:43

In case anyone else, like me, was intrigued by this, I googled and found it! Amazing. I’d never seen it before. Would love to know if it actually happened in the end, or did everyone cancel at the last minute 😁

Show quote history

Wow, green velvet sweater and orange suede pants. That is a bold choice! If I were on this guest list I'd be so relieved I am one of the over 160+ group. Also....wear Louboutins to the beach? Is she paying to replace them when they are ruined? Who wears heels to the beach? That is asking for a party of broken ankles.
In response to OP- colour code for guest list is a thing in that I've heard of it, but I wouldn't say it's common/normal. But if it was someone I really cared about i'd suck it up.

muddyford · 22/02/2024 08:08

It's fine if the happy couple are going to buy their guests' clothes. Otherwise it's unpleasantly controlling. I never wear ivory or beige, and only olive green to walk dogs.

angela1952 · 22/02/2024 11:56

In the good old days, when people wore hats, it was tiresome trying to find a hat that went with your outfit - expecially if you have a larger than average head. I just had black hats (plus one straw with a black band) and only bought outfits that went with them.

I'm one of the group who wouldn't buy a new outfit for every wedding, so I kept them all and still wear them occasionally.
One mother of the bride did look rather strangely at me when I wore a very fetching black veil with one of my hats, but it was an old boyfriend's wedding to a desperate bride.

Original poster

BigGlassOfWine · 22/02/2024 12:36

AIBUphobicyethereiam · 21/02/2024 18:06

OP, you need to decide how much you care about the people getting married. Whether you agree with it or not, it’s their day and choosing to ignore their wishes isn’t kind.

I’m afraid to say that I did this myself 15 years ago. I was skint, had about 4 weddings within a 2 month period of people I was close to, bought one outfit for all…I felt a bit annoyed about being asked to buy something else (costs of hotels and hen dos, yadda yadda), so I ignored the dress code, and I was the ONLY one. I was mortified, felt like a shitty friend, and hurt my friend’s feelings.

I let money, logistics and pique affect how I approached my friend’s wedding, and I still regret it. I could have gone to a charity shop, or borrowed a dress, but I chose not to.

Fortunately she is still my friend, and was very gracious about it, but I believe her mum still mentions it from time to time…!

My advice? Don’t be that person.

Show quote history

Thanks! I am pretty much taking your line, am busy looking on Vinted for something suitable, will also trawl charity shops. Definitely don’t want to buy new, and I think it’s a silly idea with the colour code (and inconsiderate), but I’m not going to make a big deal, it’s not my day. Also, what helps is that the couple are not “that” kind of people, the groom (a dear cousin) is totally relaxed, and the bride isn’t the bridezilla type. I think she might have got caught up in a “won’t it look beautiful if..” from the wedding planner. I’m just taking it as a challenge. Find the least awful dress at the lowest price 😉 and make the best of the day and of seeing family.

OP posts:

fatherliamdeliverance · 22/02/2024 13:37

McVittieBiscuit · 21/02/2024 21:56

I think “dress code” has been a thing for weddings for a long time. Black tie is a very common requisite for formal weddings in the US and often stated on the invite if that’s the expectation/desire of the bride and groom.

I wouldn’t be opposed to buying a dress to fit a theme, but at the same time, wouldn’t be bothered about staying out of group photos if I didn’t fit the aesthetic.

At the end of the day, it’s a request. You don’t have to comply if you don’t want to.

Well yes, dressing up for weddings has always been a thing and some may specify whether that's morning dress, lounge, cocktail, smart casual, whatever, however specifying colours hasn't. That is purely about social media.

Original poster

BigGlassOfWine · 22/02/2024 13:44

AIBUphobicyethereiam · 21/02/2024 18:06

OP, you need to decide how much you care about the people getting married. Whether you agree with it or not, it’s their day and choosing to ignore their wishes isn’t kind.

I’m afraid to say that I did this myself 15 years ago. I was skint, had about 4 weddings within a 2 month period of people I was close to, bought one outfit for all…I felt a bit annoyed about being asked to buy something else (costs of hotels and hen dos, yadda yadda), so I ignored the dress code, and I was the ONLY one. I was mortified, felt like a shitty friend, and hurt my friend’s feelings.

I let money, logistics and pique affect how I approached my friend’s wedding, and I still regret it. I could have gone to a charity shop, or borrowed a dress, but I chose not to.

Fortunately she is still my friend, and was very gracious about it, but I believe her mum still mentions it from time to time…!

My advice? Don’t be that person.

Show quote history

And I forgot to say I am glad you are still friends with the bride from your story!!

OP posts:

Rottweilermummy · 22/02/2024 14:42

I've not heard of this colour co ordinated wedding thing , but having seen some people at weddings 🙄🤔 it might not be a bad thing at least they would possibly blend in a bit, I'm all for bright colours as well , but would love to see some wedding pics of a coordinated colour one, Love the sack cloth idea 🤣.
Re the green, one of my fav colours, and late husband was Irish he loved green and I've never heard of it being unlucky