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Wedding - colour code for guests…?!

188 replies

BigGlassOfWine · 18/02/2024 21:35

Have just received a wedding invitation, and it’s got an actual colour chart (ivory, beige and various shades of green) as dress code attached. Lovely people, but I fear they have let themselves be talked into it by the wedding planner…
are colour codes a Thing these days?
I really don’t like the idea of buying a dress I won’t wear again, green doesn’t suit me 😝

OP posts:
Allyliz · 20/02/2024 17:57

Well I'm boring and only wear black so the most they'd get from me would be a green scarf 🤣🤣🤣

littlecats · 20/02/2024 18:01

This is so selfish! When I got married I just wanted my friends and family there. No pressure to buy even a gift let alone spend additional money on a specific coloured outfit they may well feel uncomfortable in! Just wear whatever you have and I’ll be happy to see you!!!!

AngelinaFibres · 20/02/2024 18:31

Friend went to a wedding. There was a colour code of pastels only. One woman wore a red dress. She was sitting on an aisle seat. The photographer was asked to ask her to move to the back on the far side as she would ruin the entry and exit photos.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 20/02/2024 18:50

Justfinking · 19/02/2024 23:41

It's like going to a dress up party. I guess it adds to the event doing something a bit different. Unless you're a miserable old c**t

So it's like going to a 'dress up' party, but it's not, it's a wedding.
Perhaps they could serve jelly and ice cream so it could be like going to a birthday party?

movedtothecountry · 20/02/2024 18:51

BigGlassOfWine · 18/02/2024 21:35

Have just received a wedding invitation, and it’s got an actual colour chart (ivory, beige and various shades of green) as dress code attached. Lovely people, but I fear they have let themselves be talked into it by the wedding planner…
are colour codes a Thing these days?
I really don’t like the idea of buying a dress I won’t wear again, green doesn’t suit me 😝

Super tacky. If you want me to wear a particular colour to your wedding, you better buy me a dress in that colour, otherwise I will make my own decision!

Bamboobzled · 20/02/2024 19:03

So black is technically allowed. Go in your best Morticia Adams outfit complete with neon green hairband just to really stick to that dress code. Or you could as Mike from Monsters Inc! I'm just imagining the insta photos 😆

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 20/02/2024 19:07

😂

MrsSunshine2b · 20/02/2024 21:29

If they want to choose what colour you wear they can make you a bridesmaid and buy the dress. Otherwise I'd just tell them you can't make it. They might be lovely most of the time but it's not lovely to treat guests, who have often travelled, bought a gift and planned their weekend around your celebration, as if they are props for instagram.

Catwench · 20/02/2024 21:40

My MIL tried this for my wedding so she could dress accordingly, I had a colour scheme for my bridesmaid and the chairs but wasn’t interested in everyone dressing the same so told her there wasn’t one, she wasn’t happy about it, no idea why and then my FIL didn’t even bother to wear a tie.

NewName24 · 20/02/2024 23:50

Justfinking · 20/02/2024 00:23

Your comment literally proves my point 🤣 Even that you feel that you are a 'prop', what's wrong if it's for their photos ... you know that capture the memories for a life time. What's the big deal, lighten up. (I don't have instagram BTW so I equally don't care about this and also think it's a bit silly but couldn't get worked up about it and as PP it probably will be a bit of fun).

you know that capture the memories for a life time

Well exactly. In my opinion, a photographer is there to record all family and friends coming to witness the wedding of someone they love. Many people at a wedding (not all, I know) really enjoy being able to dress up so they feel they look lovely for a wedding. So, 'capture the memories', not create some sort of weird monochrome palette.

I'm not sure how making a considerable proportion of your guests uncomfortable, and some resentful is 'creating a bit of fun'. It's hardly going to be conducive to a warm feeling towards you in the run up to the day.

Emma8888 · 21/02/2024 00:02

Whilst I like some shades of green (specifically dark emerald or hunter or certain darker teals) bright greens look hideous on me, and pale greens wash me out completely. I wouldn't spend money on a dress in those colours but would enter into the spirit of a darker green or add accessories (hat, pashmina, maybe shoes and bag) in the chosen colour and wear a black dress like the men. I suspect many others will take that route.

GingersOwner26 · 21/02/2024 00:55

Ugh, flashbacks to my aunt's 50th birthday party a few years back where the dress code was white and gold. Unfortunately, no one actually told the family. (It wasn't made clear on the invitations; they told their local friends the dress code at the time, my uncle was meant to have shared it with his side of the family - hers weren't present as they're all in her home country - but he forgot).

My one cousin did come out and ask (although he later decided he couldn't be arsed to find something in those colours, and his wife had originally had a clash and couldn't go. By the time circumstances changed and she was free after all, it was only a few days to go and she didn't have time to look for anything white or gold) but none of the rest of us found out until about two days before the party when that cousin was messaging his sister, she told him what she was wearing and he said "But the dress code's white and gold!" She then promptly messaged the rest of the family, found out none of the rest of us knew (and on two days notice, had no time to do anything about it), then messaged our aunt to explain what had happened. At the time, the aunt said it didn't matter.

We all get there, first person we see is our uncle who's wearing a dark suit, cousin's wife says "He's not even keeping to the dress code himself! Do you think that was a joke?" Cue everyone else walking in wearing white and gold, and aunt made it clear that actually she did mind that we hadn't kept to the dress code, despite it not being our fault. When she put her photos of the party on Facebook later, she made a big show of only posting pictures of people in white and gold, cutting the family out.

Anyway, point is, it wasn't anything I'd heard of as a thing before this party (this was in 2017) and the experience left me pretty anti-dress code. Liking the suggestions people have had of dressing as someone like Shrek, and if my family have this crap at a party again, they can stuff their dress code.

fashionqueen1183 · 21/02/2024 11:46

It’s bad enough finding a dress you like, fits and looks good without a colour being chosen for you! there is no way I’d be complying with that unless I already had something. My friends are all married now so for any second weddings I wear something in my wardrobe.
Very strange request!

Ilovecleaning · 21/02/2024 17:55

Ignore it and wear what you want. What can they actually do about it on the day?

Ilovecleaning · 21/02/2024 17:56

PS - )pressed send too soon). Some people are so up their own arses.

Ilovecleaning · 21/02/2024 17:59

GingersOwner26 · 21/02/2024 00:55

Ugh, flashbacks to my aunt's 50th birthday party a few years back where the dress code was white and gold. Unfortunately, no one actually told the family. (It wasn't made clear on the invitations; they told their local friends the dress code at the time, my uncle was meant to have shared it with his side of the family - hers weren't present as they're all in her home country - but he forgot).

My one cousin did come out and ask (although he later decided he couldn't be arsed to find something in those colours, and his wife had originally had a clash and couldn't go. By the time circumstances changed and she was free after all, it was only a few days to go and she didn't have time to look for anything white or gold) but none of the rest of us found out until about two days before the party when that cousin was messaging his sister, she told him what she was wearing and he said "But the dress code's white and gold!" She then promptly messaged the rest of the family, found out none of the rest of us knew (and on two days notice, had no time to do anything about it), then messaged our aunt to explain what had happened. At the time, the aunt said it didn't matter.

We all get there, first person we see is our uncle who's wearing a dark suit, cousin's wife says "He's not even keeping to the dress code himself! Do you think that was a joke?" Cue everyone else walking in wearing white and gold, and aunt made it clear that actually she did mind that we hadn't kept to the dress code, despite it not being our fault. When she put her photos of the party on Facebook later, she made a big show of only posting pictures of people in white and gold, cutting the family out.

Anyway, point is, it wasn't anything I'd heard of as a thing before this party (this was in 2017) and the experience left me pretty anti-dress code. Liking the suggestions people have had of dressing as someone like Shrek, and if my family have this crap at a party again, they can stuff their dress code.

Your aunt sounds a complete arse. Who the hell do people think they are? It’s as if they have a little bit of power in their lives for once and it goes to their (empty) heads.

AIBUphobicyethereiam · 21/02/2024 18:06

BigGlassOfWine · 18/02/2024 21:35

Have just received a wedding invitation, and it’s got an actual colour chart (ivory, beige and various shades of green) as dress code attached. Lovely people, but I fear they have let themselves be talked into it by the wedding planner…
are colour codes a Thing these days?
I really don’t like the idea of buying a dress I won’t wear again, green doesn’t suit me 😝

OP, you need to decide how much you care about the people getting married. Whether you agree with it or not, it’s their day and choosing to ignore their wishes isn’t kind.

I’m afraid to say that I did this myself 15 years ago. I was skint, had about 4 weddings within a 2 month period of people I was close to, bought one outfit for all…I felt a bit annoyed about being asked to buy something else (costs of hotels and hen dos, yadda yadda), so I ignored the dress code, and I was the ONLY one. I was mortified, felt like a shitty friend, and hurt my friend’s feelings.

I let money, logistics and pique affect how I approached my friend’s wedding, and I still regret it. I could have gone to a charity shop, or borrowed a dress, but I chose not to.

Fortunately she is still my friend, and was very gracious about it, but I believe her mum still mentions it from time to time…!

My advice? Don’t be that person.

angela1952 · 21/02/2024 19:31

Porfirio · 18/02/2024 21:43

I've had two invites with this nonsense and ignored them both. No one said anything on the day and a lot of other people had ignored the silly colour code thing too!

I think most people would.

OldPerson · 21/02/2024 19:43

Do you really want to go to a wedding where it's not who turns up, but how they "appear" turning up? Always going to say it, the more money spent, the bigger the fuss over nonsense and appearance and impressing others, the shorter the marriage.

Middleagedspreadisreal · 21/02/2024 19:48

I'd wear red.

MrsMiddleMother · 21/02/2024 19:48

I don't understand the hate for wedding colours, if anything I'd find it easier in my search for an outfit to narrow it down to certain colours.

Mynewnameis · 21/02/2024 19:49

The Instagram generation!
I wouldn't comply

OchonAgusOchonOh · 21/02/2024 19:51

MrsMiddleMother · 21/02/2024 19:48

I don't understand the hate for wedding colours, if anything I'd find it easier in my search for an outfit to narrow it down to certain colours.

And I find it easier, more economical and more environmentally friendly to go to my wardrobe and choose from the wedding suitable outfits in there.

Crazycatladyy · 21/02/2024 19:52

@VikingLady my aunt is Irish Catholic, at the wedding the bridal party were in the colours of the Irish flag, younger bridesmaids in green and adult bridesmaids in orange, well it was the 80s.
However @DPotter my other aunt, whose CoE is very anti wearing green at weddings, considers it very bad luck..

BooBooDoodle · 21/02/2024 20:15

A ridiculous expectation to be honest, probably something they’ve plucked off social media as the latest trend. Sod that 🤣