Gender Non-Conforming wardrobe...but still aesthetic?

[EverybodyJumpsuit]

I need a thread of things that fit this style-

Two years ago I decided never to wear a dress or skirt again, which has actually been delightful. Also heels. IN THE BIN.

I'm very gender non-confirming, but havent translated that well into my clothes, and so had ended up super alienated from a lot of fashion, since huge amounts seems to be to be about playing up a version of woman-hood that I just don't belong in (looking at you instagram shiny face tit pout land). I want to look like the opposite of a Kardashian or one of the selling sunset broads.

For years I've lived in black mom jeans, boxy tees and mens jumpers, brogues, DM's, trainers, which is fine but very boring. But I actually love extreme dressing- Tilda Swinton and Roisin Murphy came up on another thread.

The brief I had was - un-approachable art gallery owner, does ju-jitsu, plays bass in a band. I'm gonna add, has MANY lovers (probably pansexual haha), probably speaks french and ancient egyption. Could defo be played by Tilda S. Pinch of Blake Lively in A Simple Favour...Jil Sander, Alexander McQueen...

Think massive brightly coloured floor length coats, big silhouette, Sharp masculine tailoring, volume in strange places, structure, architectural things, bold colour... nothing clingy or sweet.

I would love to know if anyone else likes this style, who they follow / style icons are for this, and what would this stye be called?

Well, I wouldn't call it gender non-confirming for a start! Just sounds like normal clothes.

Sounds like you know what you want but you describe it as gender non- conforming AND masculine which is a bit of an oxymoron. Btw nobody speaks ancient Egyptian.

When I was younger we used to call this androgynous style.

A quick google of 'what does Tilda Swinton wear' shows that there's a pinterest board on this very topic - maybe give you some ideas?

They're just clothes of the kind many women wear though - nothing gender non-conforming about them.

I'm sure there are many others, but a couple who come to mind are Kristen McMenamy (model), Fran Lebowitz (author/media personality), maybe Coco Chanel ???. There is a great documentary about Fran Lebowitz, "Pretend It's a City", directed by Martin Scorsese (on Netflix). I can't think of any more current style icons sorry! But I love this style too.

I think this sort of 'style' needs to be your own.

Probably you need to start by finding big coat you like swishing about in, and a hat. Maybe you need to browse some vintage shops and play dressing up for a while?

Dianne Keaton dresses in a similar style?

(I'd sort of love to do this but I'm a short curvy blonde 60-something who hasn't a hope of looking androgynous!)

Totally off topic, sorry, but that's not the mental picture I had of you @ErrolTheDragon !

I'd say this was Androgynous styling and i immediately think of toast.. The shop not grilled bread

@Cappuccinfortwo

This is a really interesting nuance:

Women gender conforming clothes would be, dresses, skirts, probably figure hugging clothes or things designed to make one look weak and feminine. That's the broad cultural consensus on the performative gender of woman. If I go to Asos and click "women" that's a lot of what I see.

When I say "non gender conforming", I mean "not Woman conforming" (as capitalism is selling it back to me in fashion). It could mean performing masculinity though. I think women wearing masculine clothing is an awesome style.

Teasing out this distinction is super helpful for me because I think disliking clothes that fall into the first category (sort of hyper woman) has lead me to try and perform no gender, neutral I guess? Hence jeans tshirts "normal clothes" as you say.

But I'm realising that I miss performance in clothing- statement, drama, interest and I guess I'm trying to work out if I can re-inject that.

This could easily turn into a debate about gender conformation but Id really like to chat fashion instead :-)

I’m thinking COS

Sounds fun. Not something from just one shop but there's plenty around you could put together to create that style.

I'd probably describe it as grown up art school!

These 2 threads should provide some inspiration

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/4753001-can-we-talk-about-clothing-brands-and-target-demographics

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/4281220-If-Monty-Don-was-a-woman

King and Allen tailors type thing? - masculine cut suits but use colours for shirts etc, think night blue suit and fuscia shirt for example?

Im GNC and generally a casual dresser but I tend to wear black/rinse Levis with similarly dark knitwear but use strong colour in accessories like bags/footwear.

'Fashion' is a significant part of what tends to push us into gender boxes. You need to think outside those boxes! Individual style, not 'fashion'.

Plumo might suit you.

There are a lot of us who don't wear heels or Kardashian type dresses, and wear masculine or androgynous clothing, including myself. I don't think of it as gender non-conforming in particular. As pp said, it's just clothes I prefer. I don't have many lovers though, or speak French.

I think I’d call that style dramatic or eclectic, and Annie Lennox is also coming to mind.

My immediate thoughts were Cos and Plumo.

Bookmarking like crazy some super helpful things here thank you!!
Yes, maybe the gender part is a red herring in some ways...

Grown up Art School is about right.

Cos does this really well yes. I didn't know Plumo, I know what Im doing this evening haha.

Trying to find younger people doing this (im 30s), Harry styles? A lot of his outfits would work great on a woman, and there's often an arch edge? Any young women smashing this? I feel like Kristen Stewart owns a lot of this space?

I find this quite an interesting idea and agree with PP that it's funny how gender conforming men's fashion tends towards stereotypical feminine attire and vice versa.

I work in the art world and I know a lot of gender non conforming arty powerhouse women and I think it's often their attitude as much as what they wear which makes them appear cool!

I think wearing what you want to wear and not giving a fuck is the most non conforming thing to do. In a way I don't know if I'm a bit annoyed than GNC men tend to have both/all/any options and GNC women can be seen as being gender conforming by wearing dresses (where their male counterparts wouldn't as much for wearing trousers).

The fact that you call women ‘broads’ and think dresses and skirts and figure hugging clothes make women look ‘weak and feminine’ speaks volumes about you actually.
Wear what you want. You don't need to give clothes a gender. It’s only navel gazing westerners that do that.

I always think Tilda Swinton looks anorexic & that's why she dresses like that (to keep warm & hide the underweight)

This Roisin Murphy?

Women gender conforming clothes would be, dresses, skirts, probably figure hugging clothes or things designed to make one look weak and feminine.

So you basically want to be a "cool girl", ie not like the other girls? It's sad to see the internalised misogyny here. Equating weak and feminine is just pathetic. And how in god's name are dresses and skirts "weak"? Kings, Roman emperors, powerful throughout the ages have worn versions of dresses and skirts FFS. By all means have your own style OP, but if you think it makes you somehow better than other women, you're sadly wrong.