Gender Non-Conforming wardrobe...but still aesthetic?

[EverybodyJumpsuit]

I need a thread of things that fit this style-

Two years ago I decided never to wear a dress or skirt again, which has actually been delightful. Also heels. IN THE BIN.

I'm very gender non-confirming, but havent translated that well into my clothes, and so had ended up super alienated from a lot of fashion, since huge amounts seems to be to be about playing up a version of woman-hood that I just don't belong in (looking at you instagram shiny face tit pout land). I want to look like the opposite of a Kardashian or one of the selling sunset broads.

For years I've lived in black mom jeans, boxy tees and mens jumpers, brogues, DM's, trainers, which is fine but very boring. But I actually love extreme dressing- Tilda Swinton and Roisin Murphy came up on another thread.

The brief I had was - un-approachable art gallery owner, does ju-jitsu, plays bass in a band. I'm gonna add, has MANY lovers (probably pansexual haha), probably speaks french and ancient egyption. Could defo be played by Tilda S. Pinch of Blake Lively in A Simple Favour...Jil Sander, Alexander McQueen...

Think massive brightly coloured floor length coats, big silhouette, Sharp masculine tailoring, volume in strange places, structure, architectural things, bold colour... nothing clingy or sweet.

I would love to know if anyone else likes this style, who they follow / style icons are for this, and what would this stye be called?

Funny when I look on Asos its all unisex sports wear and hoodies from their unisex brand Collusion…

You just mean non sexy or floral girly clothing.

All the stuff you mention is not gender non conforming, cos gender is bs and most women I see wear jeans and a t shirt!

Harry Styles wears whatever his record label stylist tells him too for column inches. Is he? Isnt he? bs. In day to day life he wears standard scruff ball young man wear!

What a sweeping statement. Everyone? Is everyone in London really dressed like this? I am in London and am wearing a dress as I type this 😂

While many are dressed as you describe, there are many other women who are still wearing dresses and high heels.

It's a standard Harry Styles look
Is it? I've only ever noticed him when he's wearing skirts .. 'feminine gendered' clothes are his thing (which is fine, obviously) but proves my point

While I also don't remember seeing anyone in London wearing heels, there are lots of different clothing tribes - not many hoodies in Westbourne Grove!

Oh, just come to Margate! Every other person here dresses like they fell into a jumble sale and came out wearing whatever they landed on, so you could ask them where they get their clothes from

Yes, on reflection, definitely a sweeping statement, but I am just reacting to the Op's statements, which strike me as even more sweeping. There are so many women out there who don't look like the Selling Sunset women, probably because they need to run for a bus. No idea if they are pansexual or not.

All the OP's posts seems very forced to me..

@Lentilweaver

Concur wholeheartedly re. OP's posts! Their thoughts about gender and clothing for that matter, are a little odd and very rigid, reductive even. Thankfully, various other posters have challenged the OP about this.

PS. In my heyday, could run for a bus in 100mm heels and a figure hugging dress!

What would also be "gender non-conforming" would be the brands, including dresses and skirts, which are often mocked on here but are , to my mind, clothes for women who are genuinely comfortable in their own style and who don't give a stuff about the "male gaze". It takes a lot of swagger and confidence to waft through life wearing these.

Album di famiglia
Bergfabel
Apuntob
Casey Casey

(All of which I see often in London)

You may want to look at a stylist called Allison Bornstein and her "3 Word Method".

I found her on TikTok, she is also on Instagram and YouTube. She gives examples by taking women in the public eye working out their three words and then talks about why their style works for them. Alongside this, she helps you to work out your three words.

It is a really interesting series, she has a ton of videos about it and it may you hone exactly what you want from your wardrobe.

https://www.tiktok.com/@allisonbornstein6/video/7093164345735236910?q=allison%20bornstein%203%20words&t=1698488060608

For me, this reads more like utilitarian/minimal style (not getting into gender discussion), so places like Uniqlo and Muji at the lower end, Toteme up to The Row or Loewe.
And Phoebe Philo is about to relaunch.
Because I have some curves, I often dress like this for work as a counterpoint, using pleating/gathers for interest in sombre colours. For that, COS or Dutti can be good, Boss too.

How is it gender non-conforming if you live in mom jeans and men’s jumpers? Why not just wear clothes, in whatever shape or colour you fancy? It’s what most people do.

Just wanted to say thank you all for the incredibly helpful recommendations lots of things popping up that really nicely embody what I was fumbling for, so massively appreciate the resource 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

This is quite weird OP, plenty women dress like this, it’s not extreme, there’s especially loads of androgynous style this year - and there’s loads on Insta. Do you live under a rock?

Look for gentlewoman style or dark academia. Girls of Dust, Community Clothing, bits of Zara, Me&Em, and H&M, on Insta look at Dr Liz O'Riordan or Alyson Walsh (latter in her 50s but lots of this broad style isn’t age specific)

Actually it is perfectly possible to reproduce ancient Egyptian as hieroglyphs are phonetic. Limited range of expression though.😎

Ah yes, of course those of us who also wear jeans, men's jumpers and brogues without navel-gazing quite so much must be transphobic.

Me neither!

And yes, those are just clothes, nothing non-conforming about them

Not my point and you know it. It's the dogwhistle snarking at OP.

MN will probably now suspend me after you've all complained again (it's been made clear to me that protests against that kind of thing are verboten, which speaks volumes in itself) so sayonara. But it's transparent, folks, just so you know.

I haven't complained. I find the word transphobic so overused that it has now become meaningless. Especially in this case. There's a lot of word salad on here.

OP seems to be looking for a more wearable version of stagewear with a bit of futuristic and some retro rock n roll androgyny references going back about 50 years at least.

big silhouette. Sharp masculine tailoring, volume in strange places, structure, architectural things, bold colour... nothing clingy or sweet.

This seems to fit your requirements: 4.bp.blogspot.com/-1kg_t01VXgI/U9gY-xYaKKI/AAAAAAAAAm4/HYCmE8owlqQ/s1600/henry8petworth.jpg

As someone who has the dubious ‘privilege’ of wearing a recently launched, very tailored uniform for work famously designed to be ‘gender non-conforming’ by a well known male tailor who has never designed anything to be worn by women before, here are my thoughts: You can be gender non conforming all you like in terms of style, but you need clothes designed to fit you if you want to look stylish. My new uniform has no consideration for hips, breasts, the length of the female torso, the width of the female shoulders. The shirts sit funny on us and the jackets gape at the bust. The trousers are too tight around our legs and sit wrong at the ankle. The ties are too long and too thin. We look silly. If you want to look sharply fabulous like Tilda Swinton (a not-unreasonable aspiration) you need to wear clothes cut for women. Even gender-non-conforming stylish women understand that their biological sex influences the way clothes fit them. Don’t just wear men’s clothes, they will not fit.

I don’t understand why suits, trousers, certain jackets, etc are considered to be ‘gender non conforming.’ Women wear them all the time, and look fabulous in them. The only thing that makes them ‘not feminine’ is the fact that some people misogynistically think that feminine must equal skirts and dresses. Feminine is anything a woman chooses to wear.

Brava! @backinthebox.

(I said much the same as your second paragraph further up thread, and MNHQ deleted my completely inoffensive post - no idea why.)

You need some basics so I would do a day in the high street trying on tailored trousers. Wide ones, cuffed ones, pleated at the top ones, tapered at the ankle ones… A pair you love would be a real building block piece in this wardrobe you want to put together.

Have a look at Rew.