Toasties hoping for a sale while sailing into Christmas

[Countmeout]

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I’m sorry you are having a tough time @ScottishMouse. Life IS hard sometimes and I don’t think it’s unusual to have all sorts of strategies to help us get through it. The problem arises if these strategies then hurt us in other unsustainable ways. I absolutely get the need for escapism and self-soothing.

It really resonated with me reading what you said @ScottishMouse . I know I use shopping for clothes (and shoes/boots and bags and beauty products and lovely household things) as a kind of coping mechanism.
I've gone through some real f@*k it times when I've overspent quite a bit, only to then crash with guilt. Other times I've been in a better place and it's less problematic. I seem to bounce between using retail therapy, wine and food as a comforter. I get caught up in trying to feel better and it's only ever momentary. That said I do love lovely clothes but often shop for a life I don't have!
I've been keeping a list like @Stoic123 and others since about 2016 of everything I spend on clothing/shoes/bags and beauty/hair each month. I use the notes app on my phone too and it's useful to be able to see it written down. It does often stop my in my tracks a bit....I've a terrible knack of 'forgetting' I've only just spent money on things! I can also see that it peaks and troughs across the year in similar ways year to year. Oddly enough in line with TOAST sales often in more recent years
I think it goes to show from what some of us have shared on here that you're not alone. We may all have different struggles and challenges at different times, but it';s something we all share in some way. Reading what you wrote in your post @ScottishMouse helped me feel a bit less alone in what I know are not the healthiest of my behaviours, even though I understand them. Thank you.

@AmethystMoonShine Yes re: the notes app being effective in reminding me of what I’ve bought - I can forget…! Like others, I keep a wish list on my phone and then tick things off if/when I buy them. This is helpful in 2 ways - keeping me on track for what I buy when I’m in danger of buying All The Beautiful Things. Secondly, helpful in being a very stark visible marker of everything I wanted and now I have, and so sometimes it’s ok to stop, not continually add more things to the list.

Writing things down is a way of not hiding from myself. I now know that I spend an average of £3k/year, £250/month on clothes/shoes/bags. Not sure if that’s ok or not tbh.

@Saurus72 that is pretty much in line with my spending too. If I include things like underwear, exercise clothing and so on it's higher, but pretty much around that for proper clothes.
Likely to be higher this year as I've just ordered a couple of coats, as mine are ancient. I'm still wearing a long black cashmere coat from Joseph that I bought in 2003! It's stood the test of time style wise admirably, but is a tad thread bare around the cuffs
It also used to be higher when I went through a phase of collecting the old Mulberry bags. I noticed that the new styles and different leather were not my cup of tea and panic bought the older styles in the old incredibly robust leather before they became impossible to find. I could probably sell a few now as my lifestyle has changed, but I'm so attached to them!

Just catching up now, @Alpacasoft I looooove EF Benson but my v. rational resistance to Fake Hour-Stealing Time predates reading any Mapp and Lucia. 😁

Quinn mostly finished though not ironed. This was just a wearable muslin to test the fit; for the real deal I'll do an even closer imitation of the Annies by just making one functioning opening, and use a weightier fabric (this is approx. 200gsm, and not hanging as I'd like). Otherwise it's a great pattern with loose full-length trouser legs just like the current cord Annies (not the older cropped ones)

I’m spending too much, difficult to budget when the have sales and they do have sales a lot. I should probably rein it in! I do sell a lot on Vinted, but they make it hard to calculate how much you’ve made. I also buy a lot!!

Oh @clowniform, those trousers look beautiful. You are way more skilled than me. I’ve just made two cord versions of the Whittaker pinafore by Merchant and Mills but I made a hash of the side buttons. Luckily the neck opening is roomy enough to just pull them on. I was very pleased to get a gorgeous green cord v similar to this season’s Toast pinafore.

Wow@clowniform, you have such great skill! I wish i could do that. I had high hopes about 10 years ago. Bought a machine, took a class. I can't do numbers of any sort and wasted so much money and heartache over several years, trying different things. But this is not about me... your trousers are v cool!!!

@clowniform Full of admirations for the trousers and for your skill.
They look remarkably like a my first ever pair of Toast trousers , circa 1990 .
Aubergine linen with side buttons both sides, still remember them fondly.

@AmethystMoonShine Ah yeah handbags are a killer - I went through a similar phase when the bags I liked were £4-500. Now they’re £8-900 so that’s really slowed down..!

Toast today - flat fronted denim trousers and the Lace Yoke jumper in Teal.

That jumper was mentioned recently by someone else in here - it is my all time favourite Toast jumper. Oh - and Toast socks which, according to my lists, I buy a pair of, on average, every few months (and rarely regret). This pair is from July - so the pair before Chup.

@clowniform - neat skills. Kudos!

@clowniform I too am spending too much time thinking of that velvet dress, a dress I do not need.

@clowniform beautiful pair of trousers !
You are very talented.
I reread all the Lucia series every winter.
I'm an inate day light saver and do not share your enthusiasm for GMT😂
Utterly despise the clocks going back and so I don't do it!
I was born during the greatest time of all which was British Standard Time and I adhere to that.
Seriously though it makes me quite unwell when I mess around with timings/ medication and so I maintain my normal pattern particularly surrounding sleep and that means bed at 9.30pm and up at 5.30 am( 10.30 and 6.30 BST)

My DH is baffled by it all but the cat agrees with me .
On 21st December I'm as giddy as a kipper .

I do love autumn and winter and all that it brings, just not the time change.

@clowniform they're fabulous! You're so talented, I'm only quite basic with clothes making, looking forward to retirement when I can focus on my crafty activities more.

@Stoic123 yes it was me that wore that sweater yesterday. It's a lovely item.

My outfit today are those happy sunny yellow culottes which are a lovely weight for autumn, teamed with a neat fitting charcoal crew neck sweater.

@ScottishMouse I'm sad to hear you're having a horrid time of things and wish that things turn around for you soon.

@ScottishMouse

Sorry to hear you are struggling

I am conscious that threads like these and the old Hush one that was baaad might precipitate unwanted/ impulse purchases but I think there is a great balance between sale madness and lots of other discussion of fabrics, styles , projects and other stuff now .

We are merely human and often naming it is the first step

I am definitely taking in some of the learning around shopping and emotions under it: I need to look at my own habits as I am a prolific spender.

@clowniform , loving the sewing skills, I so (pardon the pun) wish that I could do that. I did think about a dress/clothes making course many years ago but decided I would never get up to the right skill level. I sometimes know what I want but can’t find it in the shops. That and finding some amazing fabric and wishing I could sew a dress or a top out of it.

Despite the reset needed on clothes spending, I have just ordered the Sturlini soft leather boots via the Mayfair store. I had tried them on in the Hampstead store 10 days ago and discussed them at length with Louise Webber (who was in the last Toast live). I noticed my size (38) has just sold out on line and so panicked and ordered them. I don’t think I will regret it as they are beautiful in the flesh and very smart looking so more of a formal office wear than the Docs I often wear.

I need to move on some clothes now: I sold around 15 pieces when the Facebook Toast page first started but I have slowed down and looking in my wardrobe today I see a handful of lovely Toast dresses that I am not wearing, a couple of them unworn 😞

So sorry, meant to tag @ScottishMouse to say that I understand and I also identify with what you have expressed.

Thanks again all for the lovely posts in response to mine. I am digesting all that has been said and thinking about how to move forward. It’s true that it could be a much worse vice that I am employing to deal with the emotional stuff, so there is that I guess.
@clowniform, so impressed with your skills. I have a sewing machine and have made plenty of household bits and bobs, and have altered clothes, but I have never made a piece of clothing from scratch. I fear that I could never gain the skills to make something quite perfect enough for my pernickety nature.

@clowniform - that is so clever of you! I wish I had the skills to do something like that. I did 'needlework' briefly at school, had the most horrible teacher you could imagine and that was that for me. Never went near it again

@ScottishMouse and everyone else who is struggling - sending fair isle and artisanal hugs all round.

@Alpacasoft - Huge highpoint for me when the days stop getting darker earlier - I absolutely hate the long nights!

The happiest day in my year is the last Sunday in March. Clocks went back here in Spain on Sunday but it’s still sunny at 6.30pm which a manageable. But in the north of Scotland it will be horrible 😭

Thank you for the kind words, everyone! It took lockdown and its sustained period of screw-ups practice for sewing to really click for me -- that and the sad decline of RTW clothing quality. Not to be too preachy, but I really do think the average adult is as capable of sewing better-than-high-street clothes as they are of learning to cook better-than-fast-food meals from recipes, or driving/riding a bicycle (trying to find examples of generally expected but not completely mandatory life skills here). It's sourcing quality fabric and well-cut patterns (unless you're clever enough to draft your own) that's the bigger struggle in the current environment. Totally understand that it's not for everyone, and how fortunate I am to have the time/energy/liking to dabble.

@alliscalm I've never made the Whitaker but a cord one sounds gorgeous and might scratch my itch for these Toast tunics.

@Stoic123 Another gorgeous pair of socks! I especially like the slightly odd but wonderful colour pop on the toes.

@Alpacasoft we are indeed nemeses different as Benson is very much summer reading for me, while winter is Saki time! 😀💐for real struggles with clocks going back and @faustina too.

@ToastCosILoveIt thank you for linking the tie neck dress earlier! I must have skimmed past it originally for being too short, but seriously love that neckline detail styled open and layered over a rollneck. Will keep an eye out for similar.

Hi, just catching up with the thread from yesterday. Sending virtual hugs @ScottishMouse x

@ScottishMouse being pernickety is exactly why I think you would make an excellent seamstress. I tend towards slapdash but am trying to improve. I came back to sewing because I realised some Toast designs are really quite simple to replicate. The key is sourcing the patterns and good fabrics.

Thank you for your brave and thoughtful post. It has opened my eyes to some of my ‘buy, buy, buy’ impulses. I really hope it has helped you too.

Sadly you come back to a wet day tomorrow @ilovecherries but it was rather beautiful here today. It was cold and Autumnal. I love the seasons even although I hate the rain with a passion.

Thanks @alliscalm. Interesting point about the pernicketiness (is that even a word??). I hadn’t thought about it that way. I have also had this thought about replicating some of my favourite Toast items. Maybe it’s a project worth pursuing. I shall have to mull on that a bit.