I have a gig lined up for the beginning of next month - I need something to wear

[SheikYerbouti]

It's quit a big folk gig (normally do ones on a small scale and am there as background noise)

This time I am part of a band and all eyes will be on us

Anyway, I want something nice to wear. Not trousers because they make me look stumpy.

I am 5ft 1, built like a badlt tied sack of spuds, reddy, blondey browny hair. Have big bazookas. I am playing the cello, so it needs to be something that allows me to, ahme, open my legs.

Will see a lot of old faces there - I don;t want them to think I have gorn off.

one of the dresses early on had a 'alternative images' button and the model had on the dreess layered over jeans, rolled up to 3 quarterlength. that with wedges maybe?>

5 1, naily.

can't get away with many things to be honest because I am a chubber.

I need something waisted

what ????

you cannot wear jeans to play the cello

and emprie line those fab boobs and no-one will even notice the thunder thighs, you know its true.

and SPANX

have you looked at the skirts on the monsoon website?

there area few - maxi - long

Ok, am a 12-14 (12 for skirts and tops - but not shirts because norks force them open) 14 for trews, sometimes a 16, but then too big round waist

well if you can wear them to ride a horse... no??

what about

you are so not mahoosive/awful sheik. you do yourself down.
i'd do you

boak naily.

this sort of shaped skirt of, because lots of materrial for fanjo coverage

sheikh is too cool for that sort fo thing

I am not cool

no no no

I am very uncool

ok sheikh, that skirt ok. with longish flowing (figure skimming) top, layered under a cropped cardi.
and spanx

nice

not true. will not accept.

yes i thought boak too but i dont know sheiks taste

spanx go without saying, Boys

ok go out tomorrow nad buy some tresthc loose floppy tres

then report back

and anyway, youre too feckin cool for that horrid skirt - you have to admit that! naily, what you thinking?? youre too cooll for that too. [confussed]

Quite like that b&w monsoon skirt

Or is it shit?

yes. think you ouhght to at least try trews a la JN's link. layered under long line top or dress.
def.

BOT i dont know sheiks taste!

sheik give us a pci

nah its nice. try it.

oh ffs shiek yu either like it or not! and dont care wot others think

is it ok legth wise tho? for having legs apart

Something like this?
More spots?
And more (what's with all the spots, eh?)