What to wear on a night out- no confidence or fashion sense!

[SimonsCow]

cocktail bar, clubbing etc.

it’s a hen do. I am in my 40s. Tired mum type. Just want to not look it! Also really don’t think I can handle heels so what the hell do I wear on my feet? Have some flatform sandals but is that too dressed down!?

Doesn’t it rather depend on the culture of your group, and the type of places you’ll be going to? If everyone else is in Shein then you probably won’t want to spend much money, whereas if you’re a group of sophisticated middle aged women you might want to dress accordingly.

I’d suggest a minimal silk dress (to reflect light) in a shape you feel confident in. And quite a lot of grooming (hair, etc) which is what makes the difference.

What size are you and how much do you want to spend?

Definitely don't bother with heels if you don't normally wear them. What's your budget, preferred colours, definite No's etc.?

Don't wear heels if you won't be comfortable in them. What about wedge sandals to give you a bit of height but without the pain? And a cute floral dress - I don't know your height, shape etc but you can go maxi, midi or mini depending on how confident you are about your legs.
That's what I'd wear anyway and I ashtrays get compliments.

And yes to grooming! Get your hair done and a French manicure (poss pedi if toes on show) and you'll look properly finished.

This is lovely, and could be worn with a modish crocheted jacket if you wanted to be more covered up.

https://www.stories.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/product.printed-silk-bow-detailed-dress-purple.1155884001.html

@SurpriseSparDay not something I'd necessarily go for.... you'd have to factor in the bra issue and I'm not convinced it looks good on the model never mind a real person but we've all got our own ideas so 🙂

Ashtrays? I meant always! Predictive text seems to think I smoke!

This is nothing like a typical ‘clubbing’ dress - but you’re a grown up, and it’s exceptionally grand.

https://kemitelford.com/collections/dresses/products/damilola-maxi-dress

Other end of the glamour scale - any of these from Solace London.

Thanks everyone! I’m a size 8/10, 5ft 1. Like to keep arms and thighs covered. Decent boobs in a push up bra (can’t go bra less). Some Spanx would give me a flat-ish stomach. Friends are a bit mixed style wise! There will be the super trendy and gorgeous gay males and other mum types like me!

I’d spend up to £50 on something new but also hoping that one of the dresses I have might work if I’ve got anything that is vaguely in style.

Thank you for the suggestions @SurpriseSparDay - I feel like they would all look fantastic on a tall willowy person but rather over the top on stumpy little me! Really keen for a dress with sleeves but this would drown me.

If you want to keep it more casual, could go full barbiecore. Barbie t-shirt, smart jeans, pink accessories.

Ok, so what are your options that you have?

What do you already have.

I’ve got so many dresses I don’t know where to start. But I just don’t know the kind of style that is ‘in’. I only ever go to local village pubs or to gigs/festivals rather than out in a big city.

Black and white polka dot midi with short sleeves. Too safe? A fitted bright pink floral midi with puffy sleeve? Too mumsy? Animal print tight maxi with long sleeves? Too wintery?

If you're in London you'd be fine in a dress and trainers. Or jeans, a strappy top, blazer and sandals? I believe people elsewhere are more fond of heels but Londoners need to walk!

Also think your flatform sandals would be fine. A shorter dress rather than midi may feel more like a night out?

This looks like it would drown anyone, so shapeless and drab.

Trainers or sandals are fine to wear out - people just don't dress up like they used to.

I would stick with the flat forms and a dress you already have which you are confident in; if not how about some black wide leg trousers and a top in a colour that suits you? It will look put together but not too try hard.

Sorry but I think some of those dresses linked above look dated.

Wears my money on Instagram has some good outfits on her blog, and is more mature but still has style.

The suggestions on S&B these days are endlessly amusing and befuddling 😂

Any chance we can see pics of your existing dresses OP? They sound very similar to dresses I wear and I always wear with chunky flatforms as cannot do any kind of heel. I bet there's something you already own that will work!

Looks awful , sorry. It has no waist and whats with the pleats on the side and back? Id look like a sack of potatoes in it.

That’s ok, surely, @PoliticallyIncorrectHitchling ? No one’s proposing to come and force you into the dress.

Isn’t most of the point of S&B to let people know what’s available, so they can make an informed choice from a wider range of options than they might previously have had?

Wear the dress you feel great in.

Clubbing? God, how terrifying!

If in doubt, go for some flattering black trousers (fitted, if possible) and a nice top. If you don't want to wear heels (which I understand), then wedges, flat-forms, ballet pumps, anything that's a bit dressy and smart, while still being comfortable.

As for the polka dot midi - is it evening-y or more the kind of thing you'd wear to sports day? I'd have to say 'No' to any kind of floral dress for cocktails and clubbing unless it's the dressy type made of silk, satin, etc. If it's jersey, then no, you'll feel very under-dressed and mumsy in a floral dress in the evening.

Ok so these are the dresses I have (not me in them sadly!). I think I’ve decided against the polka dots.

A tea dress?

Don't wear a shapeless sack. At least have a tie waist or something