How to feel proud of being a brunette?

[Friendsabouttown]

I know that sounds ridiculous but I have a group of friends. 6 out of 7 are natural brunettes but have bleached / platinum hair.

I did too until I got tired of the upkeep and damage it causes. I started getting my hair highlighted years ago because my skin is very pale and my eyes are very light - brighter hair made me sparkle.

Fast forward to today. I've let my extremely dark roots grow out and now I'm the only brunette in the group. It has taken a LONG time to get used to looking so different and I constantly hear things like

"Omg my hair is SO blonde I love it. So glad I don't have dull brown hair"

"I can afford to get my hair done every 4 weeks. I'm so lucky I can maintain my blonde" - then a quick pitiful glance at me.

"Look as us bunch of blondes" - cue selfie without me included.

The list goes on and on. I never receive a compliment and the blondeness between the rest seems to be competitive 😂 the whiter the better (I can't believe I am friends with people that shallow but I am, I love them and all their flaws!)

I'm just really struggling with being a brunette. I was doing the school run last week and noticed everyone was blonde! (Mostly brassy blonde.... but still!)

Anyone experienced similar or am I just surrounded by weird people?

Any makeup tips for brunettes with paler skin?

You're surrounded by weird, and bitchy, people.

You have a problem with your friends! I have never, ever come across anything like this and I have loads of blonde friends. This is weird and ridiculous behaviour - how old are they?

Brunette hair is lovely and your natural hair colour will suit you. Don't give it another thought.

I think I'm scared to acknowledge that. But I think you are right!

You are surrounded by weirdos who seem to be mistaking their hair colour for having a personality. 🤷‍♀️

You need new friends.

Thank you. All between 40 and 50 x

That is so weird. Your friends are really weird.

Your friends sound really strange! They have made their hair colour, their personality.

I’m perfectly happy with my (healthy and low maintenance) brunette hair. But then my friends aren’t total dicks…

Echoing PPs - the issue here is definitely your weird ‘friends’. Embrace your lovely hair!

I thought you must all be in your early 20s!

Hair colour is such a weird thing for grown up women to fixate on. No reason for pride or shame, it just is.

Get some new friends.

You've just made me realise that their entire personalities are hair obsessed. They have no other discussions, topics or interests.

Before everyone went blonde - it was a lovely mixed group with various hobbies and interests :(

Hair colour isn't something to feel pride over

There is something seriously wrong with the way your friends are behaving towards you. And that's the real issue here.

Brown hair can be beautiful. I bet the contrast between yours and your pale skin and eyes is striking. And your hair will look better than theirs for being healthy.

Your friends are very strange and immature.. I’ve never heard grown women make nasty comments about another person’s hair colour.

Why not just call them out? Say that you’re feeling upset when they say X Y Z and could they stop.

You are surrounded by weird people.

Hair of any colour that is in good condition looks great. I like my brown hair, it's dark, rich and chocolatey and the grey coming through sparkles silver. But I'm not proud of it, its just hair. I'm proud of things I've accomplished not things I was born with.

Why are you friends with these sort of people?

What's brassy blonde?

Your friends sound incredibly dull-witted and a bit nasty!

I love seeing natural healthy brown hair. Brunettes are equally able to be utterly gorgeous. Embrace being the odd one out - you’ll shine by comparison.

Get some products to bring out the tone and make it glossy and have a fantastic haircut.

They sound awful! Sorry OP but they don't sound fun to hang out with, obsessed with being blonde? Snobby, bragging about money? Excluding you based on HAIR COLOUR? they sound like pathetic immature bullies!! Do you have a different group of friends you could hang out with??

I think this is a problem with your friends rather then you...

I have similar colouring to you dark hair and pale eyes and I've always had complements for looking 'striking' because of the high contrast. I've never considered going blond, high maintenance and its so easy to look rough imo often because it isn't good for your hair. I would develop some catty responses if you intend to maintain the friendships. 'Ah yes you guys all look exactly the same haha' etc. ' I like standing out from the crowd'

take advantage of you new healthier hair by making it look fab too. Imo dark make up looks better with darker hair as it looks more natural so you can be more dramatic.

This is even crazier and embarrassing for them. It's the kind of behaviour I'd associate with 15 year old girls and honestly then even the immature ones.

I think the issues started in Covid...

I feel tonnes better just by getting it off my chest.

I love my hair. It's a rich dark chocolate colour! It's glossy because it's back to being healthy.

Thank you everyone. Feeling much more content and justified for thinking they're nuts. It's JUST hair colour.

PP mentioned age. I've actually noticed younger women and teens have embraced their dark hair. Blonde seems to be an older woman thing at the moment.

Christ how odd.

Never got the whole blonde thing. Most of my friends are blondes and I’m a brunette. Would never change my hair colour, I love being a brunette. Literally cannot get my head around your friends’ attitudes! They must lead very shallow lives!

I mean, I agree with all the pp- your friends do seem a bit odd! Also in the words of the truly wonderful Beautiful South “when blondes and beautiful are multiple, it becomes so dull and dutiful” them all matching each other doesn’t make them stand out any.

But great things about brown hair: it’s more often than not a lot healthier, and therefore stronger, thicker and shinier. Maybe get yourself some products, Percy reed do a fab shine spray. Brunettes can take a wider variety of clothes and make up colours, whereas blondes are sometimes limited in palette (have to avoid looking too ‘barbie’)

maybe get yourself a nice cut if you wanted to feel better about your hair without changing the colour, or perhaps some subtle highlights and lowlights to give dimension.

At least a few of them will be staying blonde as they probably have more grey than brown at their age.