How to feel proud of being a brunette?

[Friendsabouttown]

I know that sounds ridiculous but I have a group of friends. 6 out of 7 are natural brunettes but have bleached / platinum hair.

I did too until I got tired of the upkeep and damage it causes. I started getting my hair highlighted years ago because my skin is very pale and my eyes are very light - brighter hair made me sparkle.

Fast forward to today. I've let my extremely dark roots grow out and now I'm the only brunette in the group. It has taken a LONG time to get used to looking so different and I constantly hear things like

"Omg my hair is SO blonde I love it. So glad I don't have dull brown hair"

"I can afford to get my hair done every 4 weeks. I'm so lucky I can maintain my blonde" - then a quick pitiful glance at me.

"Look as us bunch of blondes" - cue selfie without me included.

The list goes on and on. I never receive a compliment and the blondeness between the rest seems to be competitive 😂 the whiter the better (I can't believe I am friends with people that shallow but I am, I love them and all their flaws!)

I'm just really struggling with being a brunette. I was doing the school run last week and noticed everyone was blonde! (Mostly brassy blonde.... but still!)

Anyone experienced similar or am I just surrounded by weird people?

Any makeup tips for brunettes with paler skin?

They sound like a bunch of school bullies. Picking on the person who is different. 8

This is “you can’t sit with us! Tuesday is pink day, and you aren’t wearing pink!” level nonsense.

Are your friends actually grey under the bleach, so they can’t go back to brunette? That is literally the only reason I can imagine that anyone would be so weirdly defensive of a hair colour.

You need some new friends

Before everyone went blonde - it was a lovely mixed group with various hobbies and interests

I am a proud brunette, I would look ridiculous as a blonde. Your pals are old enough to know better, I had assumed early twenties tbh. Be sarcastic, ‘yeah that’s where it all went wrong for Angelina Jolie. Anne Hathaway should go blind as well’ etc

These women seem incredibly immature.

Maybe the bleach has altered their brains?

@Saschka Potentially! Although I think one has just used Sun In and has orange roots.

I'm also the youngest in the group by 6 years. I feel so out of place. It was a lovely group before the pandemic occurred.

Thanks PP who mentioned darker makeup as I haven't changed my makeup yet and I wondered why I looked a bit weird. Ha ha.

Brunette hair is gorgeous. This group of friends seem a bit Mean Girls.

Are you all teenagers? Or as pp suggested, they're all grey.

They are 40-50

Welcome to the dark side! Brunette hair for a far healthier and shinier than dyed blonde and why be like everyone else on the school run. I have dark brown hair and pale skin and love being brunette. I tried blonde when I was younger (am now late forties) but brown feels like my ‘soul’ hair. Make up tip for eyes is this caviar stick in intense amethyst which is so easy to apply and the colour & finish gorgeous https://www.johnlewis.com/laura-mercier-caviar-stick-eye-colour/intense-amethyst/p4085032
and this blush https://www.superdrug.com/make-up/face/blusher/bourjois-little-round-pot-blusher-33-lilas-dor/p/527630?gbraid=0AAAAADp4mz-HNidy3xlCAmJI3D01EiOpb&gclid=CjwKCAjws7WkBhBFEiwAIi16898eisAfgb2jwP9l2C9TOTbJtr3AL7eWEGA_c7Y0AV7NbAGxboYpWBoCu6wQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

They are 40-50

In that case they are definitely grey under that dye and they are jealous of you! 😂 Rock it out and drop grey hair comments. While finding new genuine friends.

I'm a natural brunette and I dye my hair blonde to hide my very grey/white hair, I would love to be my natural colour but it's gone now, I can't dye it brown because the white roots would look ridiculous... another vote for them being jealous, but they aren't being very nice to you

They have obviously fixated on the blonde thing as 'their' thing, the irony of course being that most of them will have grey and none of them are actually blonde.

I think there's an unpleasant rejecting undertone to this- what if a new woman came into the neighbourhood or school who had not only black or brown hair, but different coloured skin? It's all very 'we're so blonde and glamorous and white' and perhaps they haven't thought that through all the way. Unless they pressure everyone, even those with black and brown skin dye their hair blonde? Blonde is best is an odd message.

I'm not even going to bother listing all the beautiful women with brunette hair in the world of film and TV as there are millions of them, it is not some rare or debatable beauty asset.

I am always the only one with my pale colour hair in my friend groups as I have lots of international friends, mostly but not all European and they without exception have dark hair, brown eyes, the odd hazel/brown/blonde, right up to jet black. It just isn't ever mentioned and I can't imagine what it would be like if these friends started running down my hair colour or indeed skin colour (I'm also always the palest).

@JulesGeebee Thank you so much for these links. I'm going to Superdrug today so I'll get that blush.

I never wear blush - no wonder I look weird!

@PoseyFlump ha ha thank you.

Well thanks everyone, feeling MUCH better. And you've all made me feel proud of being a brunette. A feeling I haven't felt for ages!

It's like being back at school.

I concur.

They are odd and sound silly.

I would be tempted to call them the wrong names next time & say ‘oh sorry, it’s just you all look the same now with the blonde hair’ 😏

Petty, yes.
Funny though.

😂 that is a brilliant idea. I like that very much!

It’s one thing to go on and on about being blonde, but it’s on another level if they’re excluding you from photos due to it. These people are very shallow and not your friends!
What happens if someone decides to go grey? Are they excluded from the group. I would start saying, if they take selfies without you - that’s nice, all the bitches in one photo - and just see how they react!!
Do not go back to being blonde just to please them!

Very hard to believe you’re relating the lives of actual real adults, @Friendsabouttown!

Oddly enough, seeing this glorious photo of Glenda Jackson in her youth, I can only imagine the identikit blonde attachments she’d have been forced into wearing now.

Possibly over defensive about their greys? I’m still a proud brunette but I’m now having to do my roots every 6-8 weeks and when the grey reaches a certain level I think I’m going to have to start lightening ☹️ maybe they’re jealous of your youthful chocolate locks! Btw brunette is lovely with light eyes.

"I can afford to get my hair done every 4 weeks. I'm so lucky I can maintain my blonde" - then a quick pitiful glance at me

What a lot of time, money and effort , especially if the result is "brassey"

I used to dye my hair and at one point went lighter (my hair was short) it was time consuming (dye every 3 weeks) I did at home and cut every 4-5 weeks .

Been back to my real life colour a good while and going grey . I can see the attraction of going lighter /blonde but I don't think it would suit me .

Ifone of your "friends" does trill on about her lovely blonde hair you can just say whistfully "Plays havoc with the condition of your hair though"

This!

OP you need to change your friend group!

Us pale dark tressed beauties definitely suit some blusher don’t try using that silly little brush provided though you’ll need a bigger fuller brush. Happy shopping 😊

Why would you want to look like your friends. There are too many gorgeous brunettes to list but just a few off the top of my head... Pretty sure they're not worried that their hair colour is making them less attractive:
Penelope Cruz
Angelina Jolie
Natalie Portman
Keira Knightly
Marion Cotillard
Audrey Hepburn
Elizabeth Taylor
Katie Holmes
Liv Tyler
Courtney Cox
Rachel Weisz

You don't have a hair problem. You have a friend problem.

It is absolutely batshit crazy that grown women even think about this.