How to feel proud of being a brunette?

[Friendsabouttown]

I know that sounds ridiculous but I have a group of friends. 6 out of 7 are natural brunettes but have bleached / platinum hair.

I did too until I got tired of the upkeep and damage it causes. I started getting my hair highlighted years ago because my skin is very pale and my eyes are very light - brighter hair made me sparkle.

Fast forward to today. I've let my extremely dark roots grow out and now I'm the only brunette in the group. It has taken a LONG time to get used to looking so different and I constantly hear things like

"Omg my hair is SO blonde I love it. So glad I don't have dull brown hair"

"I can afford to get my hair done every 4 weeks. I'm so lucky I can maintain my blonde" - then a quick pitiful glance at me.

"Look as us bunch of blondes" - cue selfie without me included.

The list goes on and on. I never receive a compliment and the blondeness between the rest seems to be competitive 😂 the whiter the better (I can't believe I am friends with people that shallow but I am, I love them and all their flaws!)

I'm just really struggling with being a brunette. I was doing the school run last week and noticed everyone was blonde! (Mostly brassy blonde.... but still!)

Anyone experienced similar or am I just surrounded by weird people?

Any makeup tips for brunettes with paler skin?

Your friends sound a juvenile bunch!

Exactly. I'm naturally very blonde and I love my hair, but I can't see why anyone would be proud of having dyed hair, it always looks fake.

There's literally zero reason ever to be proud of being blonde. It's like being proud of having blue eyes or being 5ft 7 or a longer second toe.

Why do you think it's acceptable for your boys pass to comments on any one's appearance?

"Ageist" wasn't the right word. It's not so much ageist as the sneery attitude. "Oh look at that silly woman with her dyed hair"

If my boy had demonstrated such amazing powers of observation my reaction would be " and so what?" . I wouldn't be boasting on MN about him.

Re why is it natural to feel proud if you're a natural blonde (also natural redhead).
Well I think it makes sense to be proud of a fairly rare characteristic. I'm not blonde and I don't have green eyes, but I think both traits (occurring naturally) are really rare and rare things are coveted. It's only natural to be proud of it, right? Like if you had a great singing voice, or a fantastic figure with zero effort, or are a natural gymnast.
It would be sad not to be proud of the unusual things you've been given?

I had dark hair, and didnt start to go grey until my late 60s, dyeing your hair dark as you age looks very harsh. I dislike the idea of being blonde so much, I have just left it to go grey.

Your sons notice, comment, and speculate about middle aged women's hair?
Unless they have ambitions to become hairdressers, you may want to offer them a little more distraction and mental stimulation to steer them towards more appropriate interests. Its very young to be starting a preoccupation with the appearance of women, and odd they feel the need to comment 'every time'.

Gymnasts and singers generally have to put a effort in to enhancing and maintaining their natural gifts. It's not a good comparison.

I was blonde for years. I decided to embrace my natural dark hair. I look better without make up now than I did before. I'm mid 50s hardly any grey. My eyes stand out more. I wish I'd done it years ago.

It's nothing to do with your friends hair colour but their personalities. Non of my friends would say anything so vacuous.

You need to mix with new people imo.

Thanks - you've put it much better than I did.

I know. I'd have been concerned if my dss did this when younger.

Your friends sound like arseholes. Or 12 year-olds.

I think a lot of people with brown hair look awful as a blonde tbh..

I'm naturally blonde and have my hair highlighted , I do love it but I'm fair and freckly with bright blue eyes so it suits me ..
Someone with medium skin and dark eyes not so much .
And the roots look awful

I can't see why you're friends with them tbh

God their weird.

Anyway, go to a makeup counter you like and speak to them about your new hair colour and see what they suggest. I was blonde and went back to dark and did need to adjust my make up.

If you can afford to get your colours done that helps too. Check their insta page though because my local one looks awful, I would not let her do my colours looking like a Zandra Rhodes tribute act.

40-50 year old women?? Thought this was ridiculous and assumed they were 20s max. @Friendsabouttown your pals are vacuous and weird. Do they ever have interesting conversation to contribute?

Being “proud” of a hair colour seems a weird thing. Doubly so if you’re having to pay to fake it. Your friends are odd to bitch to you about that.

On the other hand, if they are identikit bottle blondes and you are the only brunette, think to yourself how they look like the backing singers to you as lead singer 😉.

Take pride in your appearance and go to a decent makeup counter for advice in tweaking the tones you use.

So my natural blonde hair is an 'older woman thing'? No OP, it's just my fucking hair. Weird.

@HareRaising I'm not that poster, but I think what she meant is that dying greying hair blonde seems to be much more popular recently, especially amongst a certain set, it's expensive to maintain and so a marker of money. I'm pretty sure she didn't mean that natural blonde hair is signalling anything other than being blonde! I've noticed the dyed blonde expensive highlight look amongst my 50 something friends (well one or two).

Ah ok. I mean, I am no spring chicken but I just hate the casual ageism on MN and also this is a completely weird thread!
Thanks for explaining though.

@HareRaising you are right, it is a weird thread!

I have never experienced this OP and most of my friendships are with people in the 40-50 age group. I hope you have other friends that aren't so shallow.

What a steaming pile of old shite.

I think as you get older lighter hair tends to suit your skin tone, I suppose because it's heading more towards grey. BUT that does not mean everyone needs to have blond hair.
I have mine highlighted to hide some of the greys because that's what I want and I think it suits my complexion

I think the all over yellow/warm blonde thing is a woman of a certain age, the young ones go for ashier tones of blonde with highlights running through it, baylage and centre partings.

Ive known women in their early 50’s go darker, look a lot older and swiftly go back to blonde again.