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Original poster

'Edgy' older women...

278 replies

ProstituteHair · 04/05/2023 22:06

Gah!

I know I'm about to start a thread I've started before but there have been a few comments in S&B this week about 'desperate' older women trying to look fashionable and 'I wouldn't listen to 60 year-olds', both comments to OPs who were favouring a fairly safe style of dress in their 30s and trying to shake it up a but feeling a little moribund.

There's absolutely fuck-all wrong with a safe and classic style in it pulls your chain. Really, I have no beef there. It can look incredible.

However, who's to say that the 30-year-old advisees know more about fasion than the 60 year-olds they were belittling. Some 60 year old have worked in the fashion industry for decades. Some 30 year olds have no care about fashion beyond looking respectable.

And that's ok.

But it's not age-based, and there's an absolute joy with older women and fashion, it can be much more unconstrained. It's certainly not desperate for older women to be edgy or fashionable, I'd argue that the truly edgy dressers are older women (or men).

And the young too.

There's space for both, I'm not sure why it has to be stratified along age lines.

People either love clothes and want to look incredible or they like clothes and want to look respectable, (or they think it's all complete bolloocks and just want to cover themselves appropriately for the weather, and that's ok too!!).

OP posts:
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Paperlate · 06/05/2023 21:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Paperlate · 06/05/2023 21:24

Oh come on. The deletions are ridiculous. How is pointing out the OP had a thread deleted breaking talk guidelines?

TheSoddingCat · 06/05/2023 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Paperlate · 06/05/2023 21:35

I'm fucked off about having a post deleted for stating a fact.

ClingingOnNow · 06/05/2023 21:37

Paperlate · 06/05/2023 21:35

I'm fucked off about having a post deleted for stating a fact.

Right?? It's a joke.

JamSandle · 06/05/2023 21:38

Fashion is for fun and not limited by age imo :)

Original poster
ProstituteHair · 06/05/2023 21:42

I didn't see the deletions.

Honestly.

OP posts:
Paperlate · 06/05/2023 21:43

Op is sneering at posters having posts deleted when she had a thread deleted for calling people dicks, but we are not allowed to mention that? Have I got that right?

Original poster
ProstituteHair · 06/05/2023 21:46

Paperlate · 06/05/2023 21:43

Op is sneering at posters having posts deleted when she had a thread deleted for calling people dicks, but we are not allowed to mention that? Have I got that right?

I'm not!

OP posts:
Original poster
ProstituteHair · 06/05/2023 21:50

I have reported no-one.

Or any posts.

OP posts:
Original poster
ProstituteHair · 06/05/2023 21:59

I have reported no posts.

Ok?

OP posts:
MNHQ
ImaniMumsnet · 06/05/2023 22:00

Hi everyone - we've had a number of reports about this thread and from having a look we can agree that it does need some peace and love. We are all for civil debate and would ask that all posters please stick to the subject matter and post within talk guidelines. If we are unable to do this, unfortunately this thread will have to come down.

Original poster
ProstituteHair · 06/05/2023 22:19

@ImaniMumsnet

Good!

I'm all for peace and reconciliation.

OP posts:
Zebracat · 06/05/2023 23:35

Blimey. I was interested to read this thread and then up it went. I thought I must have skipped the page where the op did all the bad things but nope. Lots of nasty stuff from nowhere. So sorry that happened.
I love clothes but I never understood them. I could look great or dreadful. I wasted a lot of money buying things that didn’t fit or suit me or work with my life. I’ve started to take more care. My clothes are organised, I know what I have. I seem to have learnt at 63 what suits me. I think I might be ready to play now. I am much better at spotting the wonders and the mistakes in gardens, because I was trained. I think I am beginning to understand clothes similarly. When someone gets their clothes right for them it gives me joy, if I see someone looking uncomfortable, I feel sad for them. I would tell someone if I thought they looked great, but never if I thought they didnt. And it’s not about only liking women with a style similar to my own, not even sure what that is, although I get called edgy fairly often. Don’t feel it, but I have wild hair, which definitely is associated with rebellion and sex.
@prostitutehairI think you look wonderful, and thank you for starting the thread.

JMAngel1 · 07/05/2023 08:48

@Zebracat

You see I’ve always had the fashion mojo but still have no clue about gardening - one day 😂

YukoandHiro · 07/05/2023 10:12

@ProstituteHair We'd be friends. You also have amazing hair.

I really think hair makes SUCH a difference to a look. I have very difficult to manage hair, curly and frizzy, never really looks good even with every curl method imaginable applied. I'm 40 and thinking of getting a Brazilian blow out as im so over it.

JMAngel1 · 07/05/2023 10:49

@YukoandHiro

My hair is similar 3a curls which the older I get, the harder it gets to not look mad eccentic lady with 100 cats!
What I've found works is to embrace the curl and go big on volume - but to have regular trims and lots of stacked layers with root volume. A bold colour too. Then to have a little bit of make-up on and kind of look polished everywhere else so the hair looks like a definite style statement rather than "I just woke up"!.

Floisme · 07/05/2023 10:57

I didn't intend coming back to this thread but on reflection, I think a better response is to try and get it back on track.

There are real issues with hair as you get into the menopause, or at least there are for a lot of us. Mine has always been wavy / curly and I believe in working with what you've got so I've not tried to straighten it since my early 20s. But it's also much thinner now, although I'm lucky in that at least it was very thick to begin with. And it breaks easily. The op's hair looks great but long hair would be out of the question for me. I don't think some of the 'why do older women always cut their hair' threads that we regularly get on S&B quite grasp this.

Kanaloa · 07/05/2023 11:02

My hair is already so fine and I’m not even thirty years old 😔 if it gets any thinner when I’m older I would have no hair left! I wish I had big hair with a lot of volume, there’s so little you can do with fine/flyaway type hair.

JMAngel1 · 07/05/2023 11:04

@Floisme
Me too - I would love longer hair but it starts to look too flat and straggly so now like it to hover just around my shoulders.

I am also trying to get this post back on track.

TheShellBeach · 07/05/2023 11:08

Kanaloa · 07/05/2023 11:02

My hair is already so fine and I’m not even thirty years old 😔 if it gets any thinner when I’m older I would have no hair left! I wish I had big hair with a lot of volume, there’s so little you can do with fine/flyaway type hair.

A really good cut helps enormously. My stylist comes every four weeks.
Every six weeks, I colour it myself - a shade lighter than it was before it went grey.
I personally think that grey hair is very ageing. Mine is, anyway.

Kanaloa · 07/05/2023 11:12

TheShellBeach · 07/05/2023 11:08

A really good cut helps enormously. My stylist comes every four weeks.
Every six weeks, I colour it myself - a shade lighter than it was before it went grey.
I personally think that grey hair is very ageing. Mine is, anyway.

Show quote history

Well right now I’m doing the absolutely impossible and trying to grow out a fringe, so it just absolutely never looks decent. When it has a bit more length I was thinking of more of a layered cut for volume but then in the opposite camp I hate to take chances! I’m awful with my hair.

NatashaDancing · 07/05/2023 11:19

I don't know what to do with my hair- or even if I do need to do anything. Pre lockdown I had a short, really well cut bob. I grew it out and it's shoulder length with a fringe. I get the roots done every 5 weeks. It's thick with a slight natural wave. I leave it down/ put it up in various ways/ wear Alice bands.

The dilemma is I can't decide what to do with it or if it even needs anything done.

Floisme · 07/05/2023 11:30

I was incredibly lucky to stumble years ago on a hairdresser with curly hair. It's made a huge difference because he gets it. He's also in his 50s and, although he obviously doesn't have the menopause to navigate, he does understand thinning hair. I think part of the problem is that so many hairdressers are young women who've yet to go through this and who also grew up in a time when straightening your hair was the norm.

I realise this isn't particularly helpful advice, I'm just thinking out loud.

TheShellBeach · 07/05/2023 11:57

Kanaloa · 07/05/2023 11:12

Well right now I’m doing the absolutely impossible and trying to grow out a fringe, so it just absolutely never looks decent. When it has a bit more length I was thinking of more of a layered cut for volume but then in the opposite camp I hate to take chances! I’m awful with my hair.

Show quote history

During the pandemic one of the things which drove me mad was not having my hair cut.
However, by the time I could get it done again, it had grown so much that I could get a restyle.