'Edgy' older women...

[ProstituteHair]

Gah!

I know I'm about to start a thread I've started before but there have been a few comments in S&B this week about 'desperate' older women trying to look fashionable and 'I wouldn't listen to 60 year-olds', both comments to OPs who were favouring a fairly safe style of dress in their 30s and trying to shake it up a but feeling a little moribund.

There's absolutely fuck-all wrong with a safe and classic style in it pulls your chain. Really, I have no beef there. It can look incredible.

However, who's to say that the 30-year-old advisees know more about fasion than the 60 year-olds they were belittling. Some 60 year old have worked in the fashion industry for decades. Some 30 year olds have no care about fashion beyond looking respectable.

And that's ok.

But it's not age-based, and there's an absolute joy with older women and fashion, it can be much more unconstrained. It's certainly not desperate for older women to be edgy or fashionable, I'd argue that the truly edgy dressers are older women (or men).

And the young too.

There's space for both, I'm not sure why it has to be stratified along age lines.

People either love clothes and want to look incredible or they like clothes and want to look respectable, (or they think it's all complete bolloocks and just want to cover themselves appropriately for the weather, and that's ok too!!).

I suspect my hair is too thin. But understandably as I love it no one’s going to tell me that! I do find plantur caffeine shampoo helps a lot, particularly with the colour.

I know there's always lots of posts about women not feeling obligated to cut their hair short as they get older. And if you've got thick lovely hair then lucky you. My older sister has the most amazing head of long pre Raphaelite curls!

But honestly for some women (myself included) finding a shorter hair style that works for them is the best option. Short hair doesn't have to be the aging styles of before. Sharon Stone, Sharlene Spitari, Emma Thompson, Tilda Swintoj, Jane Lynch, god even Kris Jenner all do it well with different variations.

Why do so many older women cut all their hair off?

Because they want to!

Thick, naturally curly hair here. Been going grey since I was 19, so was religious about going to the colourist. The colour was never quite right and the dye always lifted incredibly quickly and went brassy. Lockdown was a godsend because I was able to grow all the dye out and my hair is mostly shade of silver and white now. As I have quite olive skin, freckles and green eyes, it suits me far better than anything my colourist did.

Years of straightening and menopause means that the curl has given way to frizz which is tamed with regular keratin treatments. It's still very thick. Was lucky that hair loss was pretty much the only thing I didn't have to deal with going through menopause. It's cut into bob, the length being anywhere between chin and shoulder. I prefer it longer as it means I can wear it pulled up into a top knot a lot. Instant face lift too which is a bit of a win.

Have re-embraced my teenage love of hair accessories. If only I would have had the foresight to keep all my lovely Molten Brown hair clips (back when MB was still a hairdresser and not whatever it has become now).

I do think for a time, it was expected. I remember the mother of a friend of my mother's had really long hair well into her 70s. She was considered very unusual at the time (which would have been mid 80s-ish). She had beautiful hair. Grey and silver, with a natural wave. She wore it in a half up half down style, pulled off her face with art deco hair combs. Even to this day, she's still the most elegant woman I can think of.

My older sister's hair got noticeably thinner during menopause. Cutting it short was a way to disguise this. For others, maybe it's just because they've had enough of having long hair.

I’m also curly and grey, and very glad to be, altho I do have 100 cats days. It does get frizzy, but I quite like that. Tends also to collect twigs and get tied back with odd bits of twine, but I can get something ok with a bit of twiddling. It is right though that hair can be a counterpoint. Neat hair makes startling clothes seem more considered. Wilder hair can lend an edge to M&S, or whatever.
I’m interested in other peoples views on footwear for the older woman. I have an issue currently, and cant tie laces,or do buckles, so mostly wear clogs, Birkenstocks, or pull on boots. I’m quite happy with that, never been big on heels, but I cannot cope with the weird moulded soles that many of my friends now seem to favour. Are there some lines that cannot be crossed?

@Zebracat
Embrace the moulded soles! I think that as we age, accessories are where it’s at to avoid looking dated. If you can pull them on and off easily, have a go. They usually add a little height too which can be a bonus to increase our “presence”.
Plus they make you stride in a confident way which can look “kick ass”.

@JMAngel1 kickass in my Hotters? No. I just can’t.😂

I'm 50 and 2 years ago I shaved my hair off. I felt absolutely liberated. It was such a bizarre feeling. It's still cropped very short and I probably will start growing it again. My dd who was 15 at the time had been wanting to do same to her hair for years (asd and always hated her looks) I gave in and we cut it all off. Well to a very short pixie cut. The relief to her was amazing. I'll never forget her reaction. Maybe we both are weird but to us we felt more ourselves and not hiding behind our hair. It grows again anyway. I'll probably be growing my hair long then cutting it all off till the day o die 😂 I've also been every colour. Just depends on my mood. I'm no means rebellious or 'quirky' I just do/wear my own thing and hopefully get a way with it 😂

Is it that they want to? Or they think they shouldn't have long hair after a certain age?

Sharon Stone, Sharlene Spitari, Emma Thompson, Tilda Swintoj, Jane Lynch

With the exception of Tilda Swinton and possibly Sharon Stone looking at all of these actually helps make my mind up I'll keep my hair long !

Unfortunately so many women feel they must look a certain way or even worse feel they should but don't know what or how, that they don't feel comfortable and just use their clothes to hide in

When you see a woman dressing as herself or with a little something she can look astonishing more so the older the woman is imo

Ha and we say the young folk are judgy! Well different strokes and all that. Some women genetically luck out on the hair front as I said like my older sister and her hair of gorgeous curls, some women don't. And if you don't and your hair thins as you age, then going shorter is often a good option.

Of course some people say cut if off once you're older, but I honestly think that's a minority now. In fact I think there's almost a full 180 on that as can be seen on this thread. That a woman can't possibly cut her hair because she wants to but only because she's bowing to some social pressure.

I’m just thinking out loud here but I’m wondering whether some women make a deliberate decision to dress in the way typically associated with the over 60s (choosing my words carefully here). I love clothes and enjoy them. I buy them from shops which advertise them to me on 20 year old models. I dye my just below shoulder length hair. I wear some makeup every day. BUT some days I just feel like not ‘making an effort’ any more and saying to the world I have grey thinning hair and my skin is saggy and lined. This is what 60 looks like. This is me now and I accept myself.
Any one else sometimes feel this way?

I just love people watching and seeing what all ages like to wear. Yesterday I sat next to someone on a train (appearance young and male, no idea of his subjective identity, we didn’t get beyond ‘is this seat taken?’) who was rocking a short leopard print jacket and yellow DM boots. Fabulous! Young women seem to be doing a ‘grandma core’ look just now - sensible sandals with floral frocks and cardis - I’m intrigued if not persuaded. I love to see people really enjoying what they wear and expressing who they are through what they wear. I don’t care about age. The only thing I struggle with is not aesthetic, it’s just how much man-made fibre is about now. It looks and feels bad and is bad for the environment. Good clothes in natural fibres ought to be friends for life.

I love clothes and enjoy them. I buy them from shops which advertise them to me on 20 year old models.

Ah … were you on the demographics thread, @notanicepersonapparently ?

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/4753001-can-we-talk-about-clothing-brands-and-target-demographics?reply=124266

If not, you should have been!

I'm really only here for the clothes. I don't wear make up most days or ever paint my nails or dye my hair (although to be fair I'm happy with the colour so that doesn't arise). I believe in only doing the stuff you're interested in and my interest lies in clothes.

If someone doesn't care for any of it then of course they shouldn't bother, all I ask is for them to please not lecture me about what I should or shouldn't care about.

@MetaDaughter That was a fascinating thread which I followed with great interest.

@Floisme Im sorry you get lectured about whether you should care about what you wear or not. Is that on here or more society in general?

I struggle to find beauty in wearing skins of the innocent.

Oh everywhere Most of the time I laugh it off but it does rankle sometimes.

It's easier now I've retired - I worked many years for a lovely but rather 'worthy' organisation where I had to put up 'Is that another new outfit Flo?' comments on a regular basis.

As someone who’s worn leather shoes all my life I find it impossible to say anything sensible about fur. I don’t eat meat, and definitely don’t want my clothes shopping to be the cause of any animal’s needless suffering.

And yet, I think I noticed Zara returning to selling the odd real leather item recently. If this means a diminution in the amount of woefully tacky pleather stuff they’ve churned out since they swore off leather, then I can only assume that’s a benefit to taste and the environment.

I wouldn’t wear new fur. That’s second hand. It’s out of the supply chain and £15000, languishing unworn in a storage facility Gucci also no longer produce fur so I don’t have a problem with it.

I would wear, in fact on many occasions have worn, vintage real fur. I also buy leather shoes and handbags. I actually think I have more of an issue with the production of clothing from plastics. Plastics will not break down. We are leaving a legacy of rubbish for future generations.

They are separate issues, both bad. That’s a straw man.